Miasma

• Every minute someone new in the US is creating their own Blog.
• The US Government was paying Carnival Cruise Lines $1,44o a week to house evacuee's from Hurricane Katrina, while a typical fare for a week on the same liner costs $450 with five stops in the Caribean.
• Laziness is the most sickening non-disease to witness when it is around you, especially when the person in question is gaining close to three pounds a day and farting and snoring all the time in the room in which you have to share with them, and when he decides to get up he switches on his Gangsta Rap at volume levels of ten to join his apathetic crooners in berating the white man.
• The brilliant Editorial by L.Lapham in this months 'Harpers' compares GWB and his cronies to the likes of the spoiled celebutantes that glut every magazine cover and gossip column in regards to getting what they want when they want it and sparing no one any clearance from the wrath of destruction that lays in their wake.

For the love of....

"Real World: Queens, NY"
A couple of little tidbits regarding the Halfway House I'm currently in. Every week on Friday we get $23.35 cold hard cash. Where this figure comes from and who it comes from, I haven't a clue, but it is issued to us non-workers of the house weekly until we start a job. The window which disperses this cash opens at 8am and if you ever wanted to see a group of neer do well addicts set every alarm clock in the house on Thursday Night, you should be present for this. Some of us are not allowed to work yet (me) because you need to have been residing at the house a month before you can seek gainful employment (I have been working anyway).
Now; some people, you have to understand, have neither the proverbial piss or the pot so this 23 dollar 'manna from heaven' is all they have. In NYC, this can not even buy you a weekly MetroCard (to seek employment) or help you buy some cigarettes and stop grubbing from the likes of me. (Ciggs. are about $6.50 a pack for Generics here in NYC).
This morning I came down @ about 8:06 am. We are supposed to be out of our rooms from 8am to 4pm on weekdays and at this time the breakfast room is usually packed with everyone drinking coffee and Bullshitting about the same Bullshit topic they had left off on the night before and I am forced to hear the cacophony of inane banter and loud ass Rap Bullshit and people sucking the raisin Bran out of their teeth etcetera. Wow! It must be Friday indeed. The State Funded recipients started filing back into the cafeteria in Dribs and Drabs with Booty purchased from their new found windfall. Two people came back with Mickey D's (no relation) Big Breakfasts (approx. 5 bucks each), and another beaut came back with 6 'Win for Life' Lotto Cards which are $2 each, I believe. That's 12 bucks, more than half his weekly income spent in 6 minutes on a far fetched pipe dream. It's fucking crazy.



CYNDI LAUPER QUESTION:
Does anyone reading this happen to know Miss Lauper? I have the greatest song in mind for her to remake and I would like to pass it along to her. Thanks

Oy Fucking VEY!!!

Some spoiled ass little girl celebrated her bat mitxvah (sp!!) this past weekend. Her multi-millionaire Dad rented two floors of the Rainbow Room and handed out goodie bags to all the attendees in the neighborhood of $2,000. Oh, and he flew in some recording artists for the gig. Don Henley, Stevie Nicks, 50 cent, Steven Tyler, Joe Perry and some has been or never has been named Ciara all were paid over a million dollars each to perform for approximately 45 minutes. All of the above stars were flown in Private Jets to NYC for this shilling. If your not sick now, or disillusioned now, wait. The little yeshivess' father made a couple of his own changes: namely donning a pink leather suit as he posed with the "Celebes".
It will be hard for me in the future to hear any kind of blubbering from Don Henley about 'Walden Pond' or 50 cent (even though I don't listen to him) talking all gangsta and believe they are credible and then seeing each of their money loving grins posing with our newest little JAP in waiting and her insecure father; who obviously needs love from his little future nose job so badly he spent more in one day than it took to make "You Can Count On Me" or the GNP of Guatemala. This small penised father had to bolster himself with buying the "integrity" of these "stars". Luring them with a shitload of money for a set that lasted less than an episode of "Desperate Housewives". Imagine if the little girl had just wanted to provide, oh; I don't know, maybe houses for about 100 families who lost theirs in Katrina, or maybe building a school or twenty in some African Country. But I digress. I just hope and pray that Pearl Jam would never do this or for that matter even some of my lower paid favorite singers, but why do I care so much what someone whom I considered a great musician does for a buck. Shit; I often considered selling myself to pay the rent on my two bedroom in Manhattan when I was broke. An aspiring "actress and Broadway Star" from Ohio was just murdered and when her parents got the news, they were told that she made ends meet by stripping under the name of 'Ava' at Flashdancers.

A funny thing happened on the way to Detox

While I was still in Florida a few months back, I was seeking to get some help in adressing my addictions. The only place in the Southern Hemisphere of that state which resembles a circumcised penis was this center called; DAF (Drug/Alcohol Facility) <--- Snappy Name! The waiting list was longer than a Yes song; and it could be weeks before I could get in. I spoke with someone at the facility who suggested that I call the Detox unit, and if they have a bed available, that may just slip me into the system a little quicker. Since I needed to be in this facility yesterday, I was short on time.
Every day I would call the Detox Unit in the morning and ask if they had a bed available and then they would tell me to call back at 4 pm to check again. I did this for about three days, when one afternoon a bed was available. Now the only thing I had to do was to get drunk. I had to literally break my clean date to get drunk so I can then get into a program.
The only thing Joyce had at her house was a bottle of Marsala Wine and big ass bottle of Kahlua that she recieved as a present. I guzzled the Kahlua, grimacing at the taste; usually enjoying it when it was in a White Russian, but not now, not by itself. We drove down to the DAF and started with the check in procedures. After filling in all of the necessary paperwork, a nurse came over to take my vitals. It seems that my heart rate and my blood pressure were throught he roof. Unbeknowest to me, Kahlua is about 93% sugar, and I had just glugged down a whole bottle in 10 minutes. Needless to say, the Facility did not accept me, they wanted me to go to the hospital and check myself in for the possibility that I may have a heart attack!

From the gaffer who worked on "the Edge of Night" for an internship comes ...

In the Sept/Oct issue of "filmcomment" there is an excellent article by David Mamet regarding the dismal future of Hollywood. In it he ponders as he is looking at a current movie poster why there are 18 (!) producers listed. "ON THE POSTER?" he writes. He states the sentiments exactly shared by myself; which is: What would be the financial gain or loss to that movie should none of those names appear?
I love seeing commercials or trailers wherein the Voice Over states : "From the Producers of 'Dukes of Hazzard:The Movie' comes a new..."
What the Fuck? Do they not even have 30 seconds of compelling film to show the audience without groveling to some inexistent denominator of movie goer who actually gives two shits about who Produced 'Dukes'? Are the Special Edition 7-11 Nascar Cup drinkers who traded in their food stamps for cash to catch the opening weekend of "Dukes" really going to say over their TV tray tables to one another that since "Seth Blackbury" produced 'Dukes' we better check his 'Newest Release"?
Do you think the think these ticket buyers even know what a producer does?
Mamet goes on to state that for a film: "One needs a camera, some film and an idea (optional)."
The state of the current film business bothers me to no end. All I had to do was go on one interview regarding my first script to see what the deal was. I was asked if my vision was anything like Aronofsky's "Requiem". The script I was assuming they called me in on showed no hopes of becoming another "Requiem" nor did I want or conceive it to be. In doing that, I could have had more integrity had I walked a few blocks up to Hollywood Boulevard and started selling handjobs for a dollar.

Do not try this at home

One great thing about my stint for the last hundred plus days was that besides helping to cure my drinking and drug addiction, I also put a big halt to my obsessive television watching habit. I was sitting in a common room of the Halfway this morning reading the paper as others watched the tube. What was on was the hourlong block of "Entertainment Tonight and The Insider". Saying that if I had to endure this fecal matter on a daily basis would lead me to drink and drug again is an understatement to the horrors of that disease. I emplore the United States Government to use my proposed tactic for garnering information from insurgents and other captives that we recently had to stop torturing. Let them sit with a loop of this drivel 24/7 and I assure you they will give up the goods. How do they choose their correspondants? Is there a contest to see whose voice correctly captures the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard? Do they ask passers by whom they consider the most annoying personality out there today and have board meetings to decide? Kimora Simmons! Holy Fuck! Pat O'Brian! There's more but I don't know there names. Snapshots of Brad and Angie with Maddox are scrutinized like a John Madden Football explaination, telling us the veiwer how Brad returned his shopping cart to the front of the market. Awwww. I hear the watercooler talk now. What are the ratings for these shows? What are the 'Q" ratings for it's hosts? Do people in trailers and New Orleans evacuee's who are still holed up in Shelters really want to hear that Olivia Newton John and Cliff Richard recently shared a lunch together and the tab was $5,000? (A $3,500 dollar bottle of wine and $500 dollar Kobi Steaks) Paris has a new fucking pet, a monkey and guess what? She has a new $25,000 Harley and (Awww) it's pink. Just change the channel Mickey (I couldn't, it's the house TV). Just walk away (I couldn't; we have to meet there every 9am). The reason why I'm so pissy is because I just don't get it. I was told that I complicate a lot of things in life. I over analyze and never keep things simple; but this shit just amazes me. Have a great day.

My Drug Buddy

The Halfway House I'm living in is pretty weird and often trying. The fact that I'm surrounded by adults (21-50 years of age) who act like the age from when they first picked up. This is true of addicts anyway. If you started abusing drugs at 16 and now your clean after a twenty year run; you are basically a 16 year old in a weathered 36 year old body that has been through the mill. I myself feel like a 17 year old even though I started erasing the pain at 15. I'm one of those teenagers that friends' parents would love and state that he is wise beyond his years. The rooms at this house are set up in combo's of three to a room. 24 of which are guys and 6 women. So, picture them all at their clean age (12-17 ish) and it makes for quite a dichotomy. There is all the usuall stuff that made me want to pick up in High School: Backstabbing, Unconfirmed rumors spreading like wildfire, clicks and closet cases. Being the type that loves to analyze people in these habitats, I should be giving you guys quite the earfull. One thing that kind of befuddles me is how everybody wants to top each other with their last run. These are termed "War Stories" by the professionals and at the Rehab I just went to, you could basically get kicked out for being some kind of braggart. It's hard for these chroniclers to realize that basically one upping each other on the War Stories means dick, because we are all occupying the same seats in a Rehab on Medicaid and Social Services and (most) don't have a house or an apartment to go home to, nor family. You see, with these stories comes the "one upping". Topping each others superhero like escapes from the cops or "thousands" of dollars in contraband. This program that I am following now, allows ME to be the MOST HONEST person that I could be. Lies are well behind me: "What do you mean I reak of Alchohol? It must be my mouthwash" et al. All these newly hatched 28 day programmers might as well sign up now for the next available empty bed at the nearest Detox if they allow themselves to feed into the anticts of constant relapsers who THRIVE on taking someone out with them.

Put this in your pipe and smoke it

Shit man...I've been gone about three and a half months and all this celebrity bullshite has gone on. Man, it is amazing how these Hollywood Airheads work. When someone does not have anything to promote, they either get engaged, (Paris H) seperate and brake engagement (Paris H) or they just fail to get the frig out of the spotlight (Not enough time to list; but here's one: Paris H). They feel that we are clinging to their very next move, eager with anticipation over which banquette at "Butter" did they get. Was Lindsey in the same room as her? "Oh No she DID NOT!!" Who gives a flying ass fuck? I was too busy chatting with guys who ran million dollar companies and smoked it all away, guys who started Hustling themselves because their Mother remarried some child molester and she decided to keep peace in her new family so she kicked "Tony" out. It sort of pales in comparison to what size latte MK Olsen was sipping or the new peroxided locks on Jessica Simpson. Gossip Pages would be really cool to read if the editors of such pages could break down the fourth wall and say what they really want to print instead of cowering to PR Flacks and Movie Studios. These scoopers should realize than the Pen is always mightier than the Sword, and the way ticket prices are waning these days on Big Budget Shlop, you would think the studio guys are going to say "Fuck it, our up and coming release stars that anorexic coke head and the swishy yet married Scientologist who erased all those rumors years ago, thank you very much.

I wish I had a picture of Nicholson in the Shining for this entry

Hey, anyone who's still got me bookmarked...I'm BAAAAAACCCCKKKK!!! Wow. What an intense program I have just went through. I'm living in a Halfway House right now and I'm not allowed to have my laptop, but sans pictures; I will continue writing about my experiences from Rehab. As much as the 30 minutes allots me on the Library Computer. I feel freaking great and believe me, I'm not all holier than thou. I just came to realize that if I want anything in Life, I for one can not drink anymore. Just a little tease for upcoming entries, I kept quite an exstensive journal while I was in "Drunk Camp" and I plan to write a pretty hair raising screenplay about the life of a recovering addict. Think "28 Days" minus that whole movie, it's lead actress and the assinine plot!! I read some comments and I recieved some pretty cool Emails from some of you. Thanks for the support and try and bookmark me or add me to your favorite sites on your blogs (does anyone use that term anymore? Shit, I've been gone for a long ass time).

Good Bye to you my trusted friends

Okay. This is the deal. I'm going away for three months. I wish I could keep my blog going for that amount of time, but where I'm going they do not let you bring a laptop in. I feel like Edie Sedgwick getting sent off to the sanitarium everytime she made a mis- judgment in life; but alas, I am going voluntarily. I need this people (peeps). Thank God that New York State provides federally funded programs for those in need like me.
I'll tell you one thing; I'm totally going to miss some of my favorite blogs. I am going to be a busy little beaverette when I get out and start perusing all the archives. this goes out to you Towleroad and you Narcissism101. Hats off to Damon D and Hunter and Lady Bunny and Pink...Three months should go by like (snap of fingers). Take out the weekends and holidays and what are we talking here, like, maybe 55 days at the most; then you exclude the hours sleeping and now we are down to like 33 days (Jesus was 33). Take out time for meals and work...Now, I'm down to a holiday weekend basically.
All I know is that I will be coming back a brand new person (no, I am not going under the knife or to Fat Camp!). I'll be scripted as well and hopefully I will be able to possibly consider a relationship one of these days.
I know how time just flies by for you guys out there, so hopefully we will pick up where we left off when I get back. (The Fat Camp is starting to sound pretty good though).
Love, Mickey

"A Three Hour Tour........."

Le Boob Tube

Did you ever move to a new state and have to totally re program yourself as to what the television channels are. I'm always going to assume that 2 (CBS), 4 (NBC) and 7(ABC) are going to be the same everywhere, yet they are not. If that's not bad enough, I'm guessing that certain state's budgets only allow sub-bar, cheaper airtime reruns that usually are on during the day. For example: at 10 am and 11 am you will find three separate channels running The Jerry Springer Show (demand, I'm assuming) and I think Becker has it's best numbers here in Fla. as well. It runs like Sienfeld or ...Raymond would in New York. I actually am beginning to like the geriatric trifecta of an hour of The Golden Girls followed by an hour of Matlock and then everyone favorite sleuth in Murder She Wrote. Television is like white noise for me that is always on in the background. I find it hard, no make that painfully hard to sit and watch television by itself; especially if you scan around at the hubris being passed along as entertainment this summer.

Yes they're cousins! Identical cousins...

I took a drive up north in Fla. tonight with Joyce and her son Conner, to drop him off at camp. The town was called Vero Beach...Sounds semi-classy; yet when we arrived at a rest stop there, I was reminded of this segment on SNL called, "Appalachian Emergency Room". One big man boobed man was buying a "suitcase" of beer with his shirt off as his little bitty frail wife in a housedress was rubbing off scratch off lottery tickets.

Suddenly Sublime

Kathy Griffin rules, dammit.
Here is a sampling from a recent Radar On-line interview with her...

What handsome guy would you not want to sleep with?
I don’t get Colin Farrell. He seems like a wife beater and he looks like he smells bad and has crabs.

Her new show, "The D list" will air on Bravo.

PUNCH DRUNK LOVE

Well; it's back to rehab for me. A 60 day commitment. I hope to be posng at least once a week regarding my travails. My other option was to be sent to this "rehab" where there was no group or one on one therapy but rather it was "Bible based". I had visions of me turning into Jerri Blank and singing,"I'm gonna sit at the Masters' Table" from the episode "The Blank Stare" of Strangers with Candy. I need some serious therapy; and I'm also not doubting that I need some serious psychotropics. God speed y'all.

Nearly Beloved

My freinds never know my type...I'm sort of all over the map. What with guys and girls and stuff and then that bout with asexuality, rockers or poets...But when this guy came into the place I was working in Los Angeles with his (their) then producer, Michael Penn; I honestly could not stop stealing glances at him. His eyes were Ice Blue and his black hair and pale skin had me enraptured. I'm reminded of Jakob because they were on a rerun of Letterman tonight. Poor bubby can't seem to get another hit...He's still hot as shit.

Same amount of people; different situations

Heroin. Heroin. Alcohol. Heroin. Crack. Oxy Contin and Alcohol. Alcohol. Crack. Heroin and Alice.
This is the house and my housemates. We are a good looking bunch. We are a smart bunch...As a matter of fact; addicts have a collectively higher IQ than your normal sober folks. No bragging rights here on my part. I hate almost every day I am here on this earth due to all it's temptations and the fact that I will live with this for the rest of my life. We have an empty bed, i guess that is where "cousin Oliver" comes along.

Year old best sellers that come out in paperbacks RULE

Not exactly Jackie Collins for the beach, but; whoa man, this shit is heavy. If you've ever wanted more from Sandra Bullocks happy, pappy version of rehab via 28 days or had a loved one or a past loved one who has been an addict of any kind; I implore you to read this weighty tome which is beautifully written by James Frey.

My Friends, My friends...

It seems that whoever reads my suggested links labeled "summer reading" has a poison pen and their name is anonymous. Poor Anonymous, (not to be associated with Alcoholics, Narcotics, Overeaters et al) seems to read and reply to many folks with bitter, scathing remarks rebelling against every passage either of us writes. I have to chock it up to something other than alcohol, narcotics or overeating; because at least those vices satiate ones negativity and in most cases make enough endorphins to provide humorous writings.
As for putting my face in my profile; I can not begin to answer this since it is basically a pre-requisite for any newspaper columnist, ice cream and popcorn distributor and jailbirds. I, have never; ever been egotistical; nor do I pose "for hours to get a shot." That pix happened to be a copy of a copy from a friends Email. Fuck off Anonymous; I suggest picking up a bottle of Stoli, a Crack Pipe and a 6 foot Hero from the Deli.

This makes me so fucking upset:Army gives $5B in Iraq work to Halliburton

Whatever

"Today's the 4th of July,
Another June has gone by;
And when they light up our town,
I just think;
What a waste of gunpowder and sky"

"4th of July" Aimee Mann

Mirror, Mirror...

You know how they say that when you are usually repulsed by something so bad in a person, what you are really disgusted with; is your own dealings with that problem? Kinda like say; Roy Cohn hating gays and than being one or Southern "Gentlemen" hating Blacks but than siddling up to them and having babies with the slaves' wives? Well, I fucking HATE Elizabeth Hurley. She is a Gold Digging snatch with legs and a second pair of lips that she uses to speak and try to act from.

Calling a Spade a Digging thingy...

The other day on Towleroad, Andy spoke to his readers regarding the media's take on all the Gay Pride Events over the country the last coupla weeks and the revelers they choose to showcase either in the newspapers or the 5 seconds of montage that they air on the news. His responses netted about 75 responses when I saw the entry.
I just saw a commercial for the newest installment of Big Brother; a stupid reality show to begin with but never the less in the commercial they introduce 5 contestants. "Hi I'm Bob and I'm a doctor..."
"I'm Debbie and I'm a manacurist..."
"I'm Fritz and I'm German..."
"I'm Rodrigo and I'm FABULOUS"
Hmmm...Can you tell in print who is the gay guy?

You know, I use to take these issues to heart. Maybe at the time I was self-loathing? I chocked it up not being particularally attracted to effeminate men, but I still got pissed off. Like, what if my family saw the same clip, would they symbiotically assosiate myself with this guy. It's called Generalization. Yet, at the same time, whenever I would see Loud, obnoxious Italian Americans or such, I would be as upset as I was with Rodrigo the Fabulous Housemate. I guess what it comes down to; is that I want to be seen as an individual. A unique individual whose sexual orientation or heritage or the state that I come from neither hinders or is the basis for your attraction or repulsion towards me.
Later

Wear a cock ring, you dick...

I feel sorry for most people going out to nightclubs these days. You have, unfortunatlly missed the greatest days of clubbing. The hottest, HOTTEST times were between 1988 thru 1993-4. I'm sorry, but it's true.
My friend just wrote to tell me that he was waiting on line to use the mens room at this place in the East Village when the bouncer (he thought) came over to the door. When the pee-er inside came out, the "bouncer" then put his meaty arm across the doorway and then used his other juiced up arm to wave over someone who happened to be Wilmer Valderamma or whatever the fuck his name (let alone his claim) and proceeded to escort him in the loo. The "bouncer" in question happened to be one of two bodyguards Mr. Fez employed for the evening. Maybe it's me; but I would never patronize a place like that again. As a matter of fact, I would pee right there in front of the door so this DICK-WAD walked right in it after he finished convincing himself in the mirror how important he is.

a new hotty joined the house here in Delray, and the resident hottie is a little up in arms. He calls him "pretty boy" faceciously behind his back. Resident H is now threatened. He goes in his room and comes out with a knit hat on(p.s. it's Florida!) and then new Hottie comes out with a 1930's golf hat on. Resident H still wears the requisite boxers hanging out of his jeans while newer Hottie wears tighty whiteys hanging out of his jeans. If we were not all sober here I sense with all of my gaydar that these two would be going at it better than a Dirk Yates video. 

Melange et tois

Remeber those two old guys sitting in the Balcony on The Muppet Show? Well, they have a movie reveiwing site which is pretty black considering it is from "Muppet Studio's." This week they reveiw "War of the Words of Tom Cruise", I mean that Speilberg CGI flick and "Bewildered." I mean "Bewitched".

If your thinking of trying how to skinboard this summer, you may want to make sure you have insurance first. I wish I had.

iPod download of the week: "We Belong Together" by Rickie Lee Jones

Assisted living in Florida...

And I do not mean the old people. It is so fucked up here in the sober house. The front driveway is littered with cars ranging from a Lexus to Mercedes Benz to a new F150 with drop down Video screens. It is three of these roommates who do not work. They sit at "home" waiting for the weekly check to get transferred into their bottomless accounts. While I'm waiting for my new job to start, I'm filling in my time by working at a place called Labor Finders which pays roughly $6.50 an hour. And it's freaking slave labor. Like, pyramid building slave labor, as a matter of fact I'm going to spell it like the British; Slave Labour, because the dollar is so bad there in the UK.
We are all supposed to have jobs here, but since these guys are paying every week it's not pressed. Last week, this one guy who is 27 stated that he was going on his first job interview in his life; and in the supportive AA/NA fashion everyone clapped for him, half of us (the worker bees) half-heartedly. One freeloader constantly asks for cigarettes; this may sound petty, but he has never bought a pack in the two months since I have been here. He claims that if he buys a pack, he will smoke them all. I always thought that was the objective of smoking; but instead, he feels better smoking all of mine. So now I carry a box of Marlboro's with only one in the pack stating that I only have one left whenever he asks me for one. Manipulator that he is, he said to me, "Well, your going to have to buy them anyway."
It's fun for these guys being sober for a week, it seems the gift to get is a DVD player. I must have forgot to register at Circuit City for these; I hope my moms reading this.
Boca Raton is filled with the most selfish, spoiled young adults that I have ever met. These are the CEO's of tomorrow based on the sweat and toil from their dads work. They will treat the workers such as ourselves like shit because that is all they know how to do based on shopping in malls with their mothers and seeing how these ladies who lunch treat the help. This is the greatest learning lesson I have experienced, having the clarity to witness the selfishness in this country some are losing their lives for.

Pull my Finger...

The Cool Stores favorite Italian (heritage-wise) songbird, Gwen Stefani is releasing "Cool" as her next single.

Southern Baptists say that they will NOW be allowed to go back to Disney Land/World. So states their Grand Poobah. Their boycott, which lasted eight years, (probably the amount of time all of these morons spawn aged) was started over the fact that Disney then allowed same sex partners to recieve benefits. They may now attend but can not work there. Hows that for bending the rules. I could picture Paul and Paulette Pious trying to explain to their overweight cherubs what gays are, gay sex is and why gay benefits should not be allowed. Then they decided, what the fuck. What would Jesus Do?

Star of "Batman Begins": HOLI Take Me's!!!

STEAL THIS BOOK!!! Actually, all three of them could probably use the money, and they deserve it. This book is freaking hysterical. They also created "Strangers with Candy", the greatest sitcom. Ever.

Why do I feel compelled to write about this?

The job I have now before I start my real job next week is a real mind fuck. I'm power washing the algae off of 48 apartment buildings in Boca Raton. Since I am sans iPod, I have a lot of time to think, or; before I go crazy by doing such inconsequential work, I have to keep my brain ticking. I started playing this game wherein I would use the letter "M" and then go down the alphabet (A, B, C...ect) and think of a famous person with those initials. M.A., M.B., M.C. and so on. I did both "M" and "J" and succeeded at both by only missing M.X. and J.X. After I shot my load with this game, I came across a strewn cover of The Star or The Enquirer with Tommy Boy's picture on the cover and I started thinking about him and his fucked up life. How many "gay" guys get married three times? Although I've only seen snipets of his recent prolific displays, I feel I have some credible assumptions (good oxymoron Mickey!) regarding this guys life. By the way, I feel I am qualified to state this since I waited on Tom, his Mom and sisters once. (I have the credit card slip to prove it.) I recently read in a not so credible source ( I feel like Entertainment writer Jackie Hervey from the Onion with all these bad sources) that Mimi Rogers (T.C.'s first wife) was the niece of L.Ron Hubbard. So, Tom's agents at the time, knowing he was to be a big star, (but, alas; a queen) needed a beard. (Are gay males female coverups called beards? Elbows?) Enter Mimi and the Church of Scientology. After Mimi pressed and pressed for sex, Tom got sick of this and had to divorce her in an amicable and monetarily substantial way. Mimi has hardly worked since. At this point, Tom could not date anyone he really liked, but boy, did he situate himself in movies with them. Brad Pitt, Dermot Mulroney, Val Kilmer, Cary Elwes and all the extras who appeared in speedos in "Cocktail." In the midst of this, Nicole Kidman, a translucent presence making her name on American soil, was sought out by Tom, after finally noticing her in the last ten minutes of "Dead Calm." Not that Nicole did not appear in most of the movie, but so did a hirsute Billy Zane. After a 10 year commitment this time (these agents are not stupid...hell, they did not even think T.C.'s fame would last that long) and at least 10 guaranteed starring roles, the deal was sealed and then some! Two adopted children (one of them a black/mulatto boy) were thrown into the mix as well. Well, by this time, T.C. had gotten way to big for this planet. Along with his auditors and the hardcover version of Dianetics, T.C. divorced Nicole, fired his Publicist and set off to take his one man freak show on the road and across the world, hijacking a susceptible young ingenue with him, for his flight on the Thetanic Express. Poor bastard.
P.S. La Holmes just got dropped from any "Batman" sequel that may be in the works.

"I'm FUCKING NUTS!!" 

HAPPY GAY PRIDE DAY!!!

Here's a story from one of my most fucked up Pride Fests(1992). It was about 12 noon and I was positioned at the corner of Christopher Street and Gay Street (how's that for pride!). I was sweating bullets from the night before. These two Latino guys had this punch in a cooler and offered me some. I looked at the line of people waiting to enter the Korean Grocer and so I accepted and refilled my cup generously. I remember a few floats and marchers, and then we fast forward to about 10:34 pm where I was now about 25 feet from my apartment. I swear to you that at that second I could not remember the step I had just taken or the approximately 9 and a half hours that came before that. It's like I just snapped back into reality at that second. I got up to my apartment and proceeded to get ready for a shower. I untied my 19 holed Doc Marten boots and then slid down my jeans to discover that my underwear were suspiciously missing in action. I started freaking out, knowing dam well I had a pair on in the am, and how come my shoes (such a hassle undoing them) were not askew? I emptied my pockets and I discovered that I had about $240.00 on me. A sum that I knew I did not have with me when I left the house. I washed myself in the shower inspecting my body very closely for any signs of; well, anything. At the time I worked very close to where I had first situated myself at the parade, and for the next couple of days at work, I was expecting someone to approach me saying, "Hey, I saw you Sunday." I had really hoped for this to happen because as with flying to Europe, I had just lost 9 hours of my life to some kind of third dimensional strippers pole or something.

Kids these days

Unlike the kid below who is 15 and can't basically run too far, the crew I'm holed up with in this "Sober Living" environmental (experimental!) house need a good kick in the ass. These are the priviledged ones. The kids who get "Dad-allacs" for their senior graduation with the humongous yellow ribbon around it. These (3 specifically) "kids" who have to be told to pick up their underwear from the bathroom floor and to take out the garbage instead of playing Jenga with it, seeing how high it could stack. If your staying in a room with three people and your phone rings at 7:30 in the morning, maybe the courteous thing to do would be to talk in the other rooms of the house instead of me hearing your fucking inane conversations. When coming down off of methadone got to stressful for one guy his A-Mom-ican Express card took a toll for $1500 bucks. It must be nice.
Since we all have to keep a job, one spoiler told me that nothing harder than Valet Parking would do for him. Aw puddin...let me wipe the sweat from your brow. If you open the front door to go outside, do you just let the door fall where it may, or do you usually use your hand to give it that extra push, click to verify that it is closed? Not these guys. I'm sure Consuelo did it for them. These happen to be kids that would possibly be the same age as a kid had I gotten a girl preggers at 18-19.
I honestly do not know what I would have done if there was disposable income at my fingertips, but there was not, and maybe that why I have this great work ethic and great appreciation for other peoples stuff. I have to get out of here soon. Maybe I will donate sperm to my friend who wants to have a baby and me be the father, I know I can do better than the fucked up parents who raised these guys.
Oh yeah...they are all Wiggers to boot.

I came out to my parents and all they got me was a trip the straight camp

People, you will not believe the post you will click on to. It is a blog from a Tennessee kid who came out to his parents, who in turn sent him to a GET STRAIGHT bootcamp. This is so disheartening. As he states," If I do come out straight I'll be so mentally unstable and depressed it wont matter.. I'll be back in therapy again. This is not good--"
today's post lists the rules, one of them for example in the clothing paragraph states,"The clients may not wear Abercrombie and Fitch or Calvin Klein brand clothing, undergarments, or accessories."
Oh, so that's what it is. If my mom did not dress me in those pesky A&E or Calvins at seven years old when I started having those feelings for Vinnie C. down the block, I would not be in this position now, would I. You mean, if I had just stuck to JC Penny Boxer briefs, I could be married now with children, high fiving buds and cheating on the Mrs.?
I make light of this because it is so fucking ridiculous. RUN! Fucking RUN for your life dude. I wish to God I had enough money to hire a freaking private investigator to tail some of the leaders of this so called pyramid scheme. The worst thing you could do to these naive parents is give them this false hope. Believe me, I do not feel bad for the parents wasting their money on this scam. I can't blame them, because in these instances, they do not know any better. It's freaking Tennessee!

Best Friends. I could not for the life of me think of a popular guy/girl best friend duo. Yeah, I know, Will & Grace, but I have a hard time putting myself in the Will category. He's too queeny, and besides, he's Canadian. I'm probably more like Grace anways (read: Big Mess). Then I thought of Dorothy and the Tinman; but I don't do Judy G. I could only think of Mary and Rhoda to describe the relationship I have with Joyce. Yesterday she said what had to be the nicest thing someone has TOLD ME in years. Compliments are few and far between these days, and sometimes the people who love us the most just assume we know what they are thinking. I feel so lucky that I have at least 5 people in my life whose love is unconditional towards me and visa versa. I hope some of you readers have the same going for you. And if you don't, you always have me, Robin Byrd. (New Yorker joke) 

Man, I hate it when couples I like get divorced or split up. I've liked both Dermot Mulroney and Catherine Keener respectively since their careers basically began. Dermot from his fucking brilliant scenes in "Longtime Companion" and Catherine from around the time of "Johnny Suede" or that great chick flick she did with Anne"nutjob"Heche, "Walking and Talking." I saw them both at a cafe(Kings Road) in LaLa circa 1994 and found out that they were married, and I thought they were the coolest couple. Oh well...

Jack White rules. His recent interview with Terry Gross along with Meg White was so refreshing. In the sense that this guy has a great view of the world as well as music and of people. Terry asked some great questions; especially about religion, which Jack answered so astutely. It's great to hear a guy talk so passionatly about certain subjects without fears of being branded a pussy. And for the fact that here is an interview conducted without the controlling strings of the puppetmasters/PR machines. Denial Twist is one of my favorites from the new CD, "Get behind me Satan."

Is anyone buying this Tom Cruise bullshite? From Jossip...
Letterman completely stumped Holmes by asking her how she met the man with whom she's fallen so hopelessly, unconvincingly in love (in the mere six weeks since they've known each other, according to her count). Apparently, Cruise's sister/publicist hasn't yet vetted (pun unintentional) a story, since Holmes never answered the question, instead stammering out something about the incredible chemistry at their undisclosed first encounter, and eventually trying to burn up time with an endless anecdote about her misadventures swimming with dolphins. (With her man, of course. They're nothing if not sporty.) What sad souls.

The species of man

This morning I had to work with 4 other guys @ this Temp Agency. Who knew I was such an outsider. While all four traded srories of being in jail and doing "bids" I was the only idiot actually working.

Bought a magazine the other day with one of my roomates. Me: New Yorker Him: Maxim.

How do you answer a question like this? "Your not a fag, are ya?" Isn't that like a double negative?

Try living with three guys and noticing their bathroom habits.

If I don't feel like watching a car go around a track five hundred times, does this make me a "Fucking NYC Snob?"

more to come

Please KARMA; at least use some lube...

I feel like I'm getting reamed so bad in life and I'm wondering if I have this evil, ugly twin who I'm being confused with @ the offices of the man upstairs. Maybe because I believe in Karma and I'm sort of like waiting for something good to happen everything in the balance has reversed. I do not know. But were going on a good 15 years now. Isn't there a statute of limitations on recieving payback?

My Wish List Part I

I'm a giver...Not really a taker, so it is with this in mind that I ask for you to purchase one of these items for yourself.

BOOK: Although I think highly of most of you to suggest The Wind Up Bird Chronicles by Haruki Marakami, I prefer to go with my first choice, the sublime Geek Love by Katherine Dunn.

RENTAL: For some reason I have been wanting to view Central Station again for a while but thanks to the SHITTY Video Stores down here in Florida (read:Blockbusta my Nuts), I can't; so I hope you can procure it and find some relevance in your life with it's beautiful story and acting.
P.S. For those of you stateside, I HIGHLY recommend the UK version of Queer as Folk. Fucking Brilliant!

MUSIC: Touchy, touchy subject here; One mans opera is another mans...; well I forgot how that saying goes. My pick for you is from 1998. Eels-Electro-Shock Blues. Suggested Tracks-all. Favorite children: 3 Speed and Climbing up to the Moon. Anybody and their mother could love this album. (sirens ring <----I'm dating myself)

It is with these wishes for you that I end this post. XO, Mickey

A sad farewell to a member of the Italiano family. Anna Maria Louise Italiano aka Anne Bancroft died today. When asked why she feels that she will always be remembered as Mrs. Robinson and not the role of Helen Kellers teacher which won her an Oscar, Bancroft stated "I am quite surprised that with all my work, and some of it is very, very good, that nobody talks about `The Miracle Worker.' We're talking about Mrs. Robinson. I understand the world. ... I'm just a little dismayed that people aren't beyond it yet."
As her husband Mel Brooks might say,"May the Schwartz be with you."

Everyone's favorite Abducted by a Latino, Power running, Wheat Grass Fueled, Gift Taking Bride is now an action figure...

A frown is a smile turned upside down

Defamer rules...A quote from today, "Tom Cruise continued his Turn Off The World publicity tour ..." and;
"More proof that God hates nerds...Fox names Brett Ratner to ruin take over X3.

Are there any blogs or sites that make you just laugh out loud?

I guess from working in the Entertainment business for 5 years in LaLa; Defamer just does it for me.
I also like the TeenBeat that is covered over at Pink is the New Blog, Trents photo captions and arrows crack me up. And I must add that this is the most creative site I have seen on a blog.

I was kind of bummed to see that I was taken off of Narcissism101's links, and I swear to God; I had just finished adding some links on the cool store site last night! (My blogenshpiel template did not come with a links section, and let me say that I am so frickin proud that I did it myself)
Besides the fact, that since I have been in this "recovery" house, my entries are rocking.

Go Fug Yourself is also a witty site as is the Onion.

The newest roommate joins the house and...Oops, he's gone

That's what it's been like here. A new guy just came here from Detox from heroin. He paid the $210.00 deposit and the first weeks rent. His luggage is bags with the hospitals name on it and he said he was going to get some groceries, and none of us have seen him since 1:30 this afternoon. He's 22.
Which reminds me. I have to take a picture of my laptop, because in some peoples eyes, it's manna from heaven. Like in the cartoons. You hear the sound ka-ching, as the eyeballs roll back to reveal two $ $ signs instead. I hope this landlord has renters insurance!

Is there something in the book of Revelations about the end of the world and non stop rain? 'Cause it's been raining like an Em-Effer for the last week. Great rains. With booming thunderstorms that wake you right out of sleep, and long, hard downpours that quell you back into sleep.
I've got to look for job #756 tomorrow. "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired." That happens to be a lame-O phrase from AA. Although they have some cognizant ones, that one is a little piss poor.
A weirdorama thing happened to me today as I was waiting for yet another bus. I was standing in a shopping plaza with about 30 stores, but the one I was in front of was like a furniture store, with a mattress outside, as if to say to passing cars, "Hey, we sell Mattresses here!" So, I'm like standing there, and this car pulls up a few feet in front of me and the window lowers; and for some reason at that moment, I just said to myself,"uh-oh". It was a low to the ground car, and excuse my ignorance for not knowing models but it was one of those convertible BMW's or something like the r280 fifteen um C class or something. Anyway, the car is now inching towards me, and my thought now is, some old batalack is probably lost and needs directions. I'm standing on the sidewalk and I can see down into the car, and as the car is rolling closer I see a hand of a man, massaging his groin area. He peers his head over to me and says, "You know how much that is?" I look at his face and he is this like Grandaddy Guido. I'm like, "The Mattress?" Cause I'm confused. He pauses for a second and goes, "yeah." Like an idiot, I walk over to the mattress to see if there is a price on it (there wasn't) but now it hits me. Maybe he thought I was a hooker. Naw, I say. I look back at him, and he is still rubbing his freaking crotch, and he looks back at me, as if to say, "You fucking idiot" and he jets off. It was then that I was thinking, "hmmm?" I mean I would never do anything with Gramps, but it did make time go by faster while I was waiting to go home.

check out these cuties from a team in Texas passing the time as the rain delayed their game.Dirk Yates..HERE WE CUM!!

This is how I judge a city...

The transportation here in South Florida sucks. No wonder that you have to pry the drivers licenses from the 97 year old, telephone book jacked up grannies and grandpa's, because their is no ample transport here. They have this billion dollar rail system that is next to nothing to ride, but how the fuck do you get to it? I took a bus today to Boca Raton, which required transferring. Now, the buses are all timed...Timed to miss each other by five minutes so you sit in this pea soup like atmosphere for 55 minutes more. It's fucking brainless. The idiots making the schedules should have to get from point A to point B for a week and then you will see the changes.

New York definitely ranks as the best way to get around in a city at any time of the day. (Even though I've cursed the 4,5,6 line some nights for being late; I forgive).

San Francisco comes in at a close second. Their BART system is clean and goes just about everywhere, the only drawbacks I found where the freaking Swiss Alp like climbs to get to most stations.

Philadelphia is third along with Chicago wherein I relied on their transports for the two short days I stayed there, and I found each to be pretty decent, but Philly had some long ass walks to reach certain stations.

Los Angeles is one of those places where you ask your friend who works in the costuming department at 20th Century Fox to supply with an outfit so that no one you know sees you either entering, exiting or waiting for any of their transportations. It's a bitch, but it's true.

New Jersey...Ah, poor New Jersey. Always a bridesmaid, never the bride. Well, this time they are the Flower Girl...With Florida being the new wife to the divorced father whom everyone hates.

One last thing. And this might sound mean and all, cause we are all God's children; but the one's riding the flu. And LAO public system seem to be a few crayons short for arts and crafts.

Amy Poehler has Bong Rings around her mouth

this totally is her...check the other pictures as well...

Don't throw stones; you heathens...

I just came home from a great meeting, and while storm clouds are threatening to give us here in Florida another day of great lightning storms; the air is as thick as pea soup and the temperature is as hot as a "straight" guy in a gay club. I wanted to channel my thoughts into my diary, but I decided to read some sites and then get down to business of expressing it on paper. I read Hunter's page , that freaking cutie; and he shared a little bit about his depression days and how it has all been eradicated in his life now. I smile for him and his success, because it is the joy that he has in his life now which washed away his solace. I am quite lonely down here in Florida, and I notice how my depression has been creeping up on me again...it especially reared it's ugly little head last week when I succumbed to the bottle again. I mean; am I really considering confronting the fuck-face aka father I had who ruined the shit out of all my self esteem and squashed every one of my dreams? Will this bring closure? Or more anger compiled with deeper depression? Will I be absolved of the newly formed unbeknownst to me angry face I have been sporting?
This girl at the meeting said something very profound (Oprah's favorite word), and maybe you can use it in your life, sans the alcohol and insert your own crippling device. She said that everything in our lives are situations, and when we "drink" they now become problems. Read that again, and try to get the full gist. Ponder, class.
I hope nobody thinks I'm this friggin holy roller reformer these days. I applaud (well, that's going a little too far) those of you with self control, I have a lot of control in other situations but alcohol has knocked my dick in the dirt for the last 15 years.
Salute!

My GAYDAR Rules

Just finished reading two magazines cover to cover in my self imposed exile from the safe house, and only when I finished them did I realize that each cover sported a half of the Brad/Angelina duet. Brad, was on GQ, which I was forced to buy since it was the only thing that was not crap in the supermarket. Angelina was on Vanity Fair, which I always get pissed at myself for buying once one of the subscription cards falls out and I realize that I could get em' mailed to me at a dollar an issue. The reporter for Brad's interview seemed fair enough to him (I'm assuming the quotes from him where all correct) and he seemed to come off okay to me. I still can't recall any outstanding performance from him since T&L or Johnny Suede, but that's also saying that I haven't really seen many of his films anyway (Snatch was a good one also). As for Ms. Jolie...man, she is a very intriguing woman whom I wouldn't mind interviewing. I think Brad exposed more about her generosity in GQ than VF did for Angie. And for these commitments that she provides to third world countries is very humane. According to Brad, Angelina basically makes these blockbuster like paychecks so she can give most of it away. Pretty cool.


On other fronts; my GAYDAR was completely in tune 6 or so months ago when The Real World Philly debuet. I had pegged this one Bo-Hunk Langdon as a closet case alchie (this is the pot calling the kettle black!) and I felt more would be reveled, if not now than in the near future. Check out TVGasm for a picture of a new underwear ad starring this high fiving horse punching (Smoking Gun) Rock Hudson.

You can't hide from yourself

Feeling sort of guilty about my recent foray into drinking behind the backs of the people in my house, I came clean. I was kicked out for a week. I am back (very luckily) by the grace of God, because I would be the most miserable homeless person in Florida, and I'm not saying this to be funny or anything. I saw the freaking signs from a mile away but I basically pleaded myopia blindness and I succumbed to the hypnotic powers of what floats around in bottles, available every ten feet where I live. Yet, no excuse again. I internalize EVERYTHING, and let it stew around inside my brain until I feel crippled by scores of events that I have no control over.

Cheater

I'm staying in this "Safe House" situation. It's to prevent me from getting drunk and losing yet another job and apartment and friends. I was good for the first three weeks but something recently has been tugging at my inner conscience to get fucked up, but this time with caution. I did, and I didn't. I did get wasted, I was not cautious. I can not get kicked out of this joint man. I will be fucking homeless. In other areas, I've finally got some internet juice in my laptop and I have been reading all my favorite blogs and their archives. To Damon DeMarco...brother; you are looking mighty fine these days and a happy belated Birthday to you...Narcissism101, I wish I could audition for your play, but I am in So. Florida and to Perez Hilton, you crack me up boy, but you are gonna get burned by being too nice to Star Jones. Peace and Love to you all.......

Crash...the movie

If this was a literary work the author would be brought up on charges of plagerism. This movie had Robert Altman and Paul Thomas Anderson written (filmed) all over it. Nice to see up and coming Actress from 2000 Thandie Newton in a role other than ER, and Sandra Bullock was pretty decent along side a pasty/doughie Matt Dillon. Note to Jennifer Esposito; girl those nipples of yours are HUGE! The film itself was a little contrived and had the tugs and heartstring moments most studio's prefer with a first time director. Haggis (the director) even had an Aimee Mann doppleganger sing a full song montage for the resolution.

Another One Bites the Horse...

Lost one of my two roomates today to his addiction. He is a 21 year old ockey phenom with a penchant for Mr. Brownstone. He got kicked out of our "Safe House" yesterday for not coming home...And when he did this kid was fucking zooted. He woke us all up to tell us he made a batch of Blueberyy Gatorade Slushies and then fell asleep on the floor leaning next to his dresser. I woke up a little later to find his face all cut up (he claims he cut it while going down on a girl!). It's sad, because every other day he recieves gift packages from his mother and Grandmother saying how proud they were of him. Speak of the devil, the house manager just came in with a new roomate. Another young kid...We will see.

Time in a bottle

If I could save time in a bottle...Hmm. I've been spending too much of these past eight years in the bottle. I finally admitted that I was powerless over alcohol and that my life had become un-manageable. I'm living with about 9 other guys in a sober house in South Florida, and man, I have so much to share. Until then, I implore you to buy the new Aimee Mann CD, The Forgotten Arm.

I'M BACK NOW...

I had a run in with a bottle that began to take my life from me...
I look forward to sharing my experiences of my time in the halfway house with you.
Love, Mickey

MOTHER EFFIN’ HYPOCRISY STRIKES AGAIN

I knew when my father used to beat the crap out of my mother, myself and my brothers that he was mad at something greater than his being 5'5". At 13 or so, when I confirmed to myself that I was gay, I started thinking about my sperm donor and wondering if in fact he was hiding a bigger secret. BTW, everyone was a fag to him.
Sobering news from the hypocritical Boy Scouts. The Head of Administration has pleaded guilty to possessing more than 500 images of kiddie porn, mostly boys. This man is 61 years old with 3 grown children. His lawyer likened his addiction this morning on The Today Show to eating salted peanuts. That he would receive images and delete them but it got too much for him. (!)
This comes how many months after the BSOA decided that homosexuality is immoral and they would not allow any troop leaders who were gay in this organization? Do you think all of the Red Stater’s will read this story? Do you think that they realize that homosexuality does not equate with pedophilia. Naw, I doubt it.

PLEASE GO AWAY

PLEASE GO AWAY
Having two channels to choose from sucks in some ways, but is better in most.
Dr. Phil’s Wife and Son
Jada Pinkett
Carson Daly (if anyone caught this tool interviewing Ice T the other night it was the definition of wigger)
Randy Jackson
Robin Williams and Movies about said unfunny comedian
Ellen’s DJ Tony
Pamela Anderson-Didn’t she retire last year to be a full time Mom?

Week after week
Star Jones
Kevin Eubanks, in fact everyone on Leno including the chinny one himself plus his supporting cast of Tom Green (ugh!), Kevin Smith (ugh infinity) and that fruity intern.
Working my last nerve
Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon
Tyra (TyPaul) Banks

The Amazing Race Rules

Last nights show was by far one of the greatest episodes I have yet to see. The brothers RULE. Rob and Amber RULE. The guy who lost looks and acts like the biggest wife beater in the world; and as his on again off again girlfriend looked on with a shiner he gave her, she still stated that it would be hard to leave him and she wants to make it work. I watched with Joyce whom I will be submitting an application with to be on the following episode. I will keep you all posted.
Florida is such a weird place. Last night with news of an earthquake that rocked Indonesia, they of course led off with the latest Shiavo news. The story that will not go away, with the right to life assholes lining streets all over South Florida blabbering their double digited IQ heads off. I saw sky writers all day today spelling out Jesus is Love and other proclamations, yet if you check most of the stories in the news and see how most people interact out here you would be hard pressed to find as many Christians practicing what they preach. This is a scarey state. I do believe that Jesus loves me, but I do not have to boast it to everyone as well as how I do not spew my rhetoric on everyone. At my nephews Christian Academy this past Easter, a giant bunny dropped candy from a helicopter. Anything to draw in the masses for those collection plates.
This world is fucked. By the way, I’m back.

The A-GAY Zing Race

If you have never watched the Amazing Race (and if you haven't, it is hands down one of the best shows on tellie) start now. You are not too far behind. We are going into week three next Tuesday night but the kicker is, this one is the gayest ever. Team Weho (guess where they are from) are flamboyantly over the top (but is not 90% of Weho?) using such tired catchphrases as "Oh no she didn't" and calling a bunch of Peruvian fishmongers "bitches". These nellies will have you laughing. BTW, are gay people pre destined at birth to be gay based on their name? Case in point, Lynn from team Weho. Another team is a mom and her son (Patrick) who is also kinda femmie, but he has an "evil side"----Oooow. Actually, Patrick annoys me to no end...gay, straight, or Canadian. The last group of lovers are actually kind of closeted from what I read. The moniker under their names whenever they are on screen says, "Best friends for Life." Is that like "life partner"? Yeah, I've had a lot of guys that I introduced as my best friend to my family...In hindsight they must think I go through friends like water. Watch The Amazing Race.

The Real World Fuck Ups Pt.1

Eric Neis, former Bruce Weber model for Bear Pond and origional Real World New Yorker shoots water out of his ass in the tropics. I think he is ready for the ping pong show in Tijuana.

Another hilarious Q & A with Jay McCaroll (Project Runway)

sometimes ahead of the curve

Five years ago I bought a Che Guevera shirt in a shop in Echo Park. I thought it was cool. Right now it is at it's most wearable state, having had so many washings and work outs done in it. But I only wear it indoors these days. It seems I blinked and forgot to pay attention to the gluttons which are teens; these sponges as they are, take everything and run it into the ground. In 10 minutes of buying something, half the middle schools across America are aware of this new trend, with text messaging, IM and whatever else. I saw a shirt like the Che one, but it said Cher (with a picture of her in a beret), I'm thinking this is the more radical choice.
I was aware of a Rosie O'Donnell blog a couple of weeks ago. Its stream of consciousness style of writing had me asking the same things Defamer asked today, is it Haiku or Frig you? It seems Boy George is mad at Rosie, Madonna and Elton, while George Michael is mad at Elton and himself and Rosie seems to be mad at Kirstie Alley and Scientologists. I'm sure Rosie might be wearing the Project Runway envy dress after seeing Ellen nab and tie for the highest amount of Daytime Emmy Awards. I do have to give Homecoming Queen (!-yes, she was!) O'Donnell kudos for one thing; she was always a fan, so she asked decent questions of her guests. As much as I heart Ellen, the girl has some lulls when she is interviewing. Sometimes she'll say of someone's movie, "it looks good."
So I'm in South Florida, working at this place, and all the kids I work with (20 somethings) remind me of the waste cases in the movie "Bully" which also took place down here. This one girl is about to go into labor at any second, yet she can not deliver a tray of drinks to a table because she is not 21. All the guys are wigga's with tattoos on the small of their necks and El Camino's and Camaro's, and they all sit in the parking lot after work for hours. Although I can understand I am the age I am, I am so glad for the times that I grew up in.

See post below... 

This dam Photo above Hurts me :>{(

Ladies and Gentleman, Live from the Potawatomi Casino in Milwaukee, WI...Joan Jett and the Blackhearts...
This picture hurts. Look at the guy yawning in the backround. The sparsity of the crowd, the mook up front with his poker playing attire and gold chains. A freaking Indian Casino! Man, doesn't Milwaukee have like a Beacon or Ritz (type) theater?
I love Joan Jett, I have for over 28 years.
I discovered the all girl band The Runaways, for which Joan was a member, when I was about 10 or 11 years old. I was watching this great Made for Television Movie on a basic Network (Before Cable TV). Sordid movies that pushed more limitations then, that network t.v. does now. It was called, "Dawn: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway" in whice Jan Brady (Eve Plumb) played a fifteen year old runaway in Los Angeles who is a hooker by night. It was awesome. Anyway, in the backround I heard this infectuous song, they kept on playing a few bars stopping and then a few more (nerds and theatre geeks might call it a cresendo? I'm just guessing), and suddenly the girl who exclaimed "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" was trolling Sunset Blvd. for johns and this great song is playing. "Hello Daddy, Hello Mom, I'm a Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch- Cherry Bomb..." I watched the whole movie, on this; a school night. I sat close to the television gripping the foil covering the rabbit ears for clearer reception as the credits rolled. "Cherry Bomb" by the Runaways.
The next day I took the bus home from school. Still clad in my Catholic School uniform, I waited in an always never ending line at Korvettes to pay for the self titled album of these, the coolest 16 year old girls I had ever seen. I have followed her ever since.

This is in no way affiliated with THAT Travolta miasma!

I've received a few Emails from disgruntled hetero's who obviously typed in "Be Cool" on their browser and were given the link to the cool store. These people were so intent on going to my profile and Emailing me to let me know their dissatisfaction in finding a Gay (!) Blog. Well listen you stupid assholes, John Travolta is gayer than a freaking picnic basket on Christmas. So go shell out $10 bucks to see this hubris and don't come to the cool store looking for merch. of this movie. I was disappointed myself, when at 10 years of age or so I learned that Fonzie was not Italian, so get over the fact that Travolta is (BaH Ha Ha!) not some macho dude. He is a closet case. What else do you think Scientology is for?

Thanks to Damon D. for showing me this cool site that helps you make yourself into a South Park character.

Poor Beard

You know how Grace on Will & Grace had a past which consisted of dating mostly gay men? I have a suspicion that this is the same spell Penelope Cruz has fallen into.

Gawker Media sued by Durst

Skeevie Fred Durst has named Gawker Media (Gawker, Defamer, Wonkette et al) as one of the defendants in his suit to obtain 80 million in damages for showing his home-made porno on the Web. Seriously, aren't we the ones who should be suing him for this?

iPod Download Song of the Week

'Bring on the Dancing Horses"- Echo and the Bunneyman

Ian McCullough was the coolest.

Don't say I didn't tell you so

Wait till you see this commercial for a new television show with Ron Eldard starring as a detective who is blind and has a seeing eye dog. It's freaking hysterical. Eldard is overacting so much (and the couple things I've seen him in he was okay) that he is like Monk, but blind, and oh yeah, he's overacting. Classic.

This is why Calvin K is in Brazil. Holy Samba Batman, this guy is a doll. A cross between Joe Dellasandro, Tom Welling and a young Anthony K. from TRHCP...This guy is kinda in love with himself...He has so many shots of himself on his page...Oh, did I forget to link the page, I'm sorry... 

man...this chick is so freaking scary. It's like she has an addiction to collagen and saline. I was reading someone's blog recently where they could not get over Harry Hamlin in the "Clash of the Titans" and what a fox he was. Now, if you see either him or his shreiking idiot of a wife together, they look like they both got off of Dr. Frankenstiens table. Poor bastards. 

Even more reasons to love Jay McCarroll from Project Runway. Read this interview he gave to The Advocate. The guy rocks.

Do you remember that show with Urkel?

Well, Urkels neighbors; the family in "Family Matters" had three kids. After a few seasons they seemed to have forgotten to tell the audience that their youngest daughter was either on a milk carton or the most recent Amber Alert cause they just wrote her out of the show. I'm happy to report that she is doing well, and she has a career in facials. Jenna Jameson doesn't even do these shots!

Is there a line for Studio 54? Is this the 70's? Everyone I see recently and work with are snorting lines. I sat next to some guido on my flight down to Florida who offered to set up a bump for me in the bathroom. I didn't even know the dude. I mean; freaking grow up people. And you just know the trickle down effect has reached the tweens. Mini Scarface's in Middle School. Man. I know fashion goes in cycles, but drugs? 

Michael Schoeffling

Was anyone else crushing on this guy...Michael Schoeffling is his name. I actually watched "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken" because he was in it. Best remembered as Jake from "16 Candles", and his memorable conversation with Long Duk Dong at the end. Long Duk: "She go with Bo Hunk and get maw-weed" Jake: "Married?" Long Duk : "Maw-weed" Jake: (softly to himself) "Married?" Long Duk: "Yes, Maw-weed! Sheesh!" He also was pretty cool and hunky in "Longtime Companion."