Gateway Pleasures

Pot was never anything more than pot to me. It never led me to do anything I did not want to do, and for a while I basically became immune to it. I could do everything in my day perfectly fine while being stoned.
Due to weekly piss tests at this place I'm at, I can not get high (now), hell I can not even take cold medicine without facing an evict.
Here's the conundrum. I need a dube for my screenplay. Like the heroin addict who needs to get through his withdrawals with a hit, I need that extra creative part of my synapses exposed so I can get over this one hump, and the only way that I know to rectify this safely is with a joint. I started thinking of excuses I could make to the administrators of this place if I get busted. I pictured myself exclaiming "I work with all these Rastas" and blame it on second hand smoke, but how frigging lame is that. Freaking United States with it's puritanical ways. Holland as my home land is getting closer and closer to being real.

Ohio and 17 other states are trying their hardest in Legislature to pass a bill that would prevent anyone who is gay from adopting children. Some asswipe was talking on NPR the other day about how he had one 'victim' from a lesbian household explain how she herself turned gay and is so unhappy about her life now.
Is this their precise for this ban? I could get blue in the face (or fingers) typing out what is so wrong with these 'legislators' warped thinking. Sexual abuse among Hetero's, Your Born gay you don't vicariously become gay et al.
I get so disillusioned by this country so often. I get pissed and wish I could follow half of these mother fuckers who start these bills around and see if this is not some hidden agenda with a Roy Cohn like self hatred. I want to expose these bastards, what right do they have from preventing ANY child from having a home.
After I heard this story and the purported 'home-made lesbo's' denial, I was thinking of the first time I was attracted to guys ( I try to think of this often). Each time I think of an example I could pre date it with another. It's kind of fun because my attractions towards guys (even before I knew about sex) were always different from what attracted me to the females I liked. Like, the male attractions were saying to me, "More will be revealed later".

What to do...What to do...

Do I Compromise my integrity and watch this freaking 'Spanglish' movie because I love Tea Leoni and absolutely abhor Adam Sandler and have always consciously said I will never watch anything he is in? The Elmhurst Library's pickings are slim.

***UPDATE: I'm glad I watched it. Tea was great and she floored me in this one scene where she was having sex w/ Adam S's character and he pats her body and says"Look at this body", and MAN, you had to she her body in this shot. She had like a freaking 8 pack going on. Screw shadow make up and lighting, this was a hard core body. A lot of reviewers were saying when this first came out that she would be nominated for an Oscar, then all that buzz slowed down and everyone was on the bandwagon of an over the top preformance. Having lived in both L.A. and UES and UWS of Manhattan, I have seen these women. I have dealt with these women. Any Nanny or Maid or Butler will concur, but usually they do not speak English to blab this.
Adam Sandler looks like a 5 year olds drawing of a man. Just a blobby looking guy with a fro and sallow skin and such. It's such a fucking shame that casting couches are not around for schlubs like him, denying him roles that someone with any sort of pedigree in acting could have made a little bit more interesting. Shit, it happens to women all the time.
Maybe now I will watch "Punch Drunk Love" because I dig Emily Watson tons as well.

Payton Revisited...

One of my favorite scenes in moviedom has to be when Rebecca DeMornay as Payton in "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle" confronts the little boy @ the schoolyard who has been picking on the girl she has been tending to. I'm paraphrasing here, but 'Payton' is alerted to the fact that the little boy is present in the playground. he is surrounded by a few of his cronies and she grabs him by the collar and says, "Call her one more name and I'll kick your fucking ass to the ground..."
Again, I'm paraphrasing (Every movie of my past must be reviewed as a sober dude), but it reminded me of how I acted no longer than 20 minutes ago.
We are all waiting for the library to open (@ 10 am) and everyone is on line. It's about 3 minutes to 10 when these two Paki kids walk up and sort of hover around the front door. I actually saw the fatter of the two look at the long line and decide not to get on it, nudge his friend and park it by the door.
The doors open and the little fucks squeeze in behind the oblivious 3rd and 4th person.
Now, I would not be pissed if it was not for the fact that I knew that these little bastards were going to use the computers, and the fact that there are only a few of them made me more incensed because that is why there is a line. I could just see them getting a PC so they can send Emails and check their MartyrSpace.Com web pages, but I'll be damned if I get shut out.
When everyone started lining up for the computers we were told that they were down. I knew this was probably temporary so I started looking for a new book to read (having ditched "Drink" by A. Burroughs at page 78 <------ quite possibly a first for me, that I can recall; and I just finished "Strong Motion" by J.Franzen).
As I'm going down the aisles I see the little turd and I cornered him and his friend and told the fat one, "Do you know what a line is?" And he looked at me as if I was asking for directions or something. But I interceded and said, "If I ever see you cut the line again I am going to personally throw your ass into the street." His glasses fell off his face and the skinny one looked like he had to go take a quick shit as the sand color drained from his face.
I kind of felt triumphant, thanked my Wellbutrin for the Assertiveness (albeit to a child!) and left.

"Living inside my head, not much room for the two of us..."

...The Lemondrops.

• The subways in Queens are all mostly run above ground and requires all patrons to climb two, three and sometimes four flights of stairs. Why in the world do I always get stuck behind this fat assed meanderer who seems like he/she just got shot with a tranquilizer gun from Marlon Perkins and they are about to collapse at any second. It's either that, or I get behind the mother who is finally teaching her kid how to walk stairs and decides what better place than the freaking 'Stairway to Seven'.

• Like Bart, I am wondering why I am not famous (or near there). It seems every week or so, someone I hung around is making it. Last week I was reading the poster to Harrison Ford's new movie "Firewall" on the subway platform and as I read the credits I noticed a name of someone I was pretty well acquainted with. So much so, that she sent me a 'homemade ' Valentine's Day Card. I mean, good for them. I sincerely mean this, but...(In rehab they have a saying: everything after but is bullshit). So, does this mean when I finally give an interview I could say, "Yeah, it was myself, so & so and so & so hanging around The Formosa Bar..." Kind of like the crew of Scorsese, Lucas and Speilberg et al who hung around L.A. in the early 70's or this one: Kevin Spacey, Val Kilmer and Mare Winningham all being classmates!

• I read today that most men would choose to have Tom Cruises' teeth and smile. Who the fuck do they ask these things to? I have never been 'poled' in my life about stupid nonsensical bullshit like this. And most of all, how the hell do they get this tidbit in the newspaper? First off, Tom Cruises smile? That forced 'Glamour Shot' that he has been sporting since his third or fourth movie. It's like I want to hear a canned soundtrack playing "Ahhhhh" when he smiles. In porn it's called the money shot. On him it is this forced botox frozen expression that internally is saying, "I am such a fraud"..."I am so fucked in the head"...

• These Muslim leaders are getting picked off like flies on a screen door. I think Joyce DeWitt has better security than these Imams.

Do newspapers have a retirement age?

I freaking hate Liz Smith and Cindy Adams. There. I wrote that first sentence so many times, all the while trying to use a different word than hate, but none of them had the impact or resonated enough. These two bitches should be a GreenPeace target. The amount of paper and squid ink these two morons waste with their blathering senile comments and kiss ass bold face names is deplorable. Liz Smith, who "by the by" ( I FUCKING HATE when she writes that! It reads like she's a fucking nosy bitty in a bad Harlequin Romance.) came out of the closet at like, 96 years of age, makes so many mistakes in the name of Gossip. Doesn't this woman have IMDB? How she can GO TO PRINT with so many errors is beyond me. In spite of that, yesterday she was talking about the 'controversial ' movie, "Crash". If any of you have seen this movie you would see that it was a contrived piece of bullshit ripping off Magnolia so badly that I wrote about it here months ago, and weaving a story around all these coincidences it felt like a Disney flick with it's amount of unbelievableness. Cindy Adams on the other hand comprises her columns by going to real interviews that celebs give other publications. If Meg Ryan says she likes Gouda Cheese in 'Lady's Home Journal' you can bet your ass it will be a whole column along with others who enjoy cheese in this bitches daily parrot cage filler. I used to picture myself bumping into Rupert Murdoch's son (he was kind of a hottie) somewhere in NY and asking him why the fuck he employs these two bats. I need to start an impeachment trial for these two. Only in New York Kids!!

Short Yellow Bus

So, I take a couple of Seasons of the Soprano's on DVD from my moms house and watch like an episode a night. I've seen them all, once, twice or ad nauseum (sp). But, I was wasted as well, so what I thought was excellent then, might seem unbelievably great now. I'm checking out this one episode and Carmela is in the supermarket and as she is about to round the corner of the aisle she notices one of the moles of a now deceased Mafiosi demoing pigs in the blanket. I shut the dvd off and contemplated life.
Since I am living in the halfway house of horrors, a working one, there are certain specifications that I must follow. We have two mandatory meetings per week in which all must attend, these being on Tues and Thurs @ 6 pm. Whichever job you take, you must allow for these, which kind of sounds like no biggie, but it does act like the monkeywrench a lot of the times. Add to this the fact that we can not come into the house past 11 pm or you will be tossed out. (Actually, the person on duty refuses to answer the door after 11 pm). So, with a background in food service and management and cooking, it's kind of hard to finagle something other than corporate dining around these stipulations.
The job I have is bullshit, I know and add to it the fact that I'm on the Upper East and West Side of town and you can see where my insecurities lie. Manhattan has always made me feel 5 inches shorter and 25 pounds overweight and now throw into the mix a seemingly smart looking guy, like myself, wearing a baseball hat and an emblazoned store apron handing out gourmet food. I wonder if I was me as a customer, would I stop and ponder this situation. Like, "How did that guy end up with this?''
I'm putting the finishing touches on my second original script which I hope to present as a 'calling card', along with the first for any writing assignments in idea arid Los Angeles.
Just thought I'd let you know.

Evil Ugly Twin

Did you ever meet someone you liked a lot while being a supporter or fan of this person. Like a musician or an actress/tor or a politician or writer? How many of us have the clarity or hindsight afterwards of now determining if something they kind of did sort of irritated us and well, I'm really not into them anymore. The lack of love and support does not just end there but it sort of wanes over time whereas a couple of months back you may have circled a day on your calendar regarding this persons newest book or album or movie, now it seems you notice it while you come across it in the bargain bins or when it's on cable. This happens to me a lot with everyone, but in celebrated people more often. My favorite actor/actress/musician list dwindled considerably after working with a lot of my favorites at my job in Los Angeles. It could be their phone manners or the way I would observe them treated their crew members or fans or the way they acted outside when that imaginary 4th wall (or is it 3rd) is broken down.
I also sour on some when their fame is too big for their once small britches.
I've seen some of my favorite bands play clubs with 15 people and now all they play are stadiums. I've gone through reams of order forms and hours of search time trying to obtain movies that are so rare but they star someone I'm totally into. And then, one little song or scene might propel them into the stratosphere of Joe Buttcrack in Peoria and then I lose interest.

I'm reading "Drink" right now by Augusten Burroughs and is it me, or is he trying too hard to make me laugh? Or am I skeptical because he is the author most often thought to be a member of the Bullshit Memoir Club that James Frey started up? A book that I would have consumed with glee in two days now has the potential of a library late charge and a bookmark opage 38.

The Gift

About 12 years ago I gave up the coolest apartment in NYC right across the street from Washington Square Park to move down to the up and coming town of South Beach: Miami, FL.
This had to be the biggest scam I ever was a part of. Bigger and more self deprecating than the time I bought those Stereo Speakers from the guy in the parking lot of a Mall in Jersey, only to have purchased empty shells of speakers with bricks inside. But I digress. South Beach was supposed to be this burgeoning Mecca of show business, with supposed studios in the works and production crews scouting around and blah, blah, blah. I took the bait hook line and sinker and like a good addict, I took someone very close to me along for the ride. I ended up staying there about two months. This after shipping every single thing I owned down there via Parcel Post and cutting all ties with my hometown. Why the frig didn't I sublet or contact a corporation that puts up out of town employees, I don't know. What I do know is that South Beach was a bust. You saw the same people everyday, in the 8 square blocks of usable terrain. So, if you saw Joe and Beth at the gym, you then saw them at the supermarket, and then you bumped into them when you were buying your Cuban Coffee, and then you saw Joe rollerblading Ocean Avenue while Beth was tanning on the beach and you wrapped up the day with seeing them at one of the clubs. Every Fucking Day, every Fucking Person Living There. I had just went through my fifth job in a month, and the square mile or so mentioned above turned into square footage of space where I could possibly show my face.
My friend Brian whom I had coerced into moving down was experiencing similar woes with the modeling business for which he was pretty successful at. He ended up quitting the business due to the caliber of people who amass the industry, from the bookers to the agency heads and to the cut throat models he was having to see (repeatedly) at go sees. His new Cocker spaniel, Ben was dying of the heat that also permanently stained the armpit spots of many a cherished shirt of mine. Walking one block in the Summer in South Florida is akin to being a break dancer on the Equator.
I, besides hating most of the above, could not stand to be around these so called hipsters and nellies who basically got 86'd from New York for one thing or another. Every drag queen who burned his bridge in the club scene in NY was manning (for lack of a better word) the doors of the clubs in Sobe, as they tried to called it, but embarrasses me just to write it. Every failed waiter and waitress, which means actor and dancer from NYC (myself included) scurried down there. The lure of cheap and plentiful drugs could not entice anyone with half a brain left to consider planting your feet there. So, I left.

Epilogue: I cringed when I read in yesterdays gossip column how Jon Bon Jove could not contain his loud guffaws as Chris Kattan (of SNL) did his Night @ the Roxbury dance as Paris Hilton looked on as well.

We are DOOMED

The recent activities of Muslim Extremists has me questioning one part of that sentence. Is their any Muslim NON-Extremists. Doesn't it seem that for every single outcry by this fanatical sect, they all jump and caterwall and light fires and throw rocks and denounce a WHOLE COUNTRY by the actions of one person. These people are doing exactly what they tell us they do not do. Generalize. They freaking generalize every situation. If Denmark pisses them off, then it is Death to every Dane, if it's Somalia or freaking a Antartican they fucking write in their 900 newspapers "Death to the Antarcticans".
You probably heard about the ferry crash where their are like 900 presumed dead Muslims (hand me a tissue, please) coming back from work. Did you hear that while the Shippers where out helping in the search, all these "fanatics" torched their offices. Did you hear that the captain of the boat evacuated first? All these Koran thumpers spew venomous quotations at the media, yet when their backs are half turned they contradict themselves by doing the opposite.
We are doomed folks. Would you trust any one of these fuckers with the rights to a Nuclear warhead? I wouldn't, I'd have trouble giving them a freaking water pistol. Look how they make weapons out of the most primitive sources of nature. People still get stoned to death on a regular basis. The inciter of this whole Danish rigmarole happens to be a buddy of one of the 9/11 hijackers.
Not to leave you in limbo, but I now live with this Muslim guy in the halfway house, I feel like a sixth grader saying this, like I was talking about my new love, but I can not wait to tell you about this CHARACTER!!

More Agita

So I do what might be construed by the typical reader as Demo-ing. Which means that I hand out shit to people as they shop at the store I represent. Now, this isn't Cosco we are talking about here, this is an Upscale Upper East Side Gourmet Store, where customers get their hair done before coming to shop and the soccer moms have Bentley's instead of Dodge Astro's. But, just like you can not buy class it seems that the Manners Store also went out of business where these people are concerned.
I take Neurontin for my anxiety and shit, and these fuckers really seem to test the RDA of my Rx. Besides the grabby old men who come up and reach for the first thing they see; these the men for whom "Please Wash Your Hands" signs in bathrooms were invented, the same old bastards who dribble their honeycomb yellow piss all over the seat that they leave down in all bathrooms, the same guys who forget to flush and constantly pick their ears and noses with no avail to who is watching. Their screechie voiced shorter spouses whose vitrolic comments to anything resembling a pleasantry come up grab and than go, "Whats this?" like I fucking owe them something and It'll just make my day if they like what I'm showcasing. And they will take it anyway. These ladies are a few dollars away from being like their ilk down in Florida who attend functions with plastic baggie lined pocketbooks so they don't have to eat cat food in the coming week.
The ones who really fucking kill me are these uglyish Broker Types who make a decent salary and attended an East Coast University whilst coming from Buttfuck Red State. This type of Lifetime watching chick who buys a gym membership on January 2nd of every year and is looking for a refund on January 16th. The kind who does not have a cat, but everything she owns has cat-like potential in it's cheesey down on the farmness. This one c word was showing some visiting yokel our store, going up to every counter and showing off her new cosmopolitan lifestyle. Calling guacamole with a mole at the end of the word instead of mole-ley and telling her dimwit friend that those mushrooms are pronounced Shi-take, instead of shitcakes like he was trying to read. She came up to me and she was like: "What in God's name is this" and I answered "A Demo" as someone would say, "Duh" and she was like "I have never seen such a thing at C___________." And I replied, "We do it 5 days a week" to which she had to pretend an excuse because she knows dam fucking well that she never shops here, she knows we do not sell "Chunky Monkey" here, the only item she indulges herself with to mask her miserable phoney life.
This is my misery!

BLACK DYKES

or, as I like to say: The 'N" word meets "The L Word".
I guess I missed the memo where it is okay for white guys to say the word Nigga. I guess since it is pronounced this way, leaving off the er and replacing it with an a; it's do-able. Because I've been hearing that word thrown around a lot lately. It's like when anal sex started getting a lot of press. It's weird when something that has been taboo just pops out there and is now taken as normal.
This guy in my room who is my age is having a serious Peter Pan crisis. He thinks he's down with the younger guy in my room by conversing and calling him Nigga in every sentance. I've even heard him talking on his cell (one of those stupid Motorola Walkie Talkie jobs that are so fucking annoying) with his (I'm guessing) girlfriend, calling her Nigga. You've got to be kidding me.
I remember in Los Angeles, this one flamer knew that I had been with a couple of guys, so he was talking to me one day and he said, "C'mon Girl..." or "C'mon Mary" and I nearly cold cocked him in the mouth. I was like, "Listen, no one calls me Girl (or Mary)..."
"No one puts baby in the corner".
But this girl (woman), I mean what the fuck? She lets a guy call her "his Nigga?"
The other morning, those other two roomates had to get up early for work. It's like 5:15 am and I hear, "Nigga this" and "Nigga that". It's fucking lame. It's another stupid ass attempt on the part of insecure people to try and fit in.
The funny thing is, I know it was all the rage when black guys were calling each other Nigga and then Bill Cosby got all pissed off like he had a pudding pop up his ass, but I hear it most among white guys and tons of Latinos.

No Wonder

No wonder why you always hear about these stampedes in Arab Countries with tolls of dead numbering in the 100's. I live in this part of Queens where it's kind of diverse, but I'd have to say being a white guy I am a minority. It is mostly a Latin American Pampoosa clogging streets festival or Hindi kids with thick sideburns donning Catholic School uniforms that roam these avenues. This morning I came to the library before it opened at noon. Usually if a Normal NON THIRD WORLD customer shows up, he/she starts a line, and everyone usually que's up. No such luck this morning. I show up around 11:50 ish and there is what looks like a convention of under five foot brown haired people clustered about. Upon closer inspection, it is the makeup of my neighborhood standing around the front door like those fervant morons who line up for that big Wedding Dress Sale that some Bridal Shop does every year. I figure I'm not going to cuss under my morning breath about the udder stupidity of this line up which in fact is a crescent shape. I pass the time until the doors open listening to my Shuffle which shuffles the same songs all the time while doing a Soduko puzzle. The administrator comes to the door to unlock and let us in. A passerby from England might think, "Wow, these Yanks sure love to read" but thats not the case as most people on the check out line usually have the maximum of 5 dvds to check out with an additional copy of Cosmo Latina or Sari News tucked in there. Anyway, the door unlocks and it felt like being in a mosh pit at The Lollipop Guild. My body was lifted off the ground as this wave of usually quiet people who dont eat beef rustled to get in the doors. A little girl fell and almost got trampled as some Johnny Come Lately to the crescent shape tried to get ahead of everyone and cram through the door for the computer. It was fucking insane, and could have been completely alieviated with a line.

No. We can not all 'just get along'...

Halfway House Drama

This new guy Frank just got the boot for soliciting a prostitute. We are given $23.35 a week by Public Assistance. Maybe they arrested him because the decoy cop was insulted by the amount he had offered her?

This 'big mamma' chick who just got out of Rikers (I may have mentioned her before) told the administrator that she had a dream that her boyfriend kidnapped her and forced her to smoke a crack laced blunt in a van. After she left the office, she was flagged down to be drug tested for which she came up positive for both of those. Shit, I wish I could have her dreams; only mine would be with me, annabella sciorra and Tony Ward on a desert island.

Retiring SNAP!, Macarena and Peace Out to the cemetery of Tired Phrases

You know how sometimes, something might be around forever (Cher...haha) but it is not until it is pertinent in your life does it take on meaning, and then at that point it is "old" in the coolsville world we would like to live and be a permanent resident of, so we do not admit that we want to incorporate this into our lives.
IF THAT LONG ASS SENTENCE DID NOT EXPLAIN, I'll let the newer and more assertive me take over.
In Rehab I kept on hearing the phrase, "If it don't apply, let it fly". Now, if there is one place that bests Springer or Sally Jesse (is she still on?) for using tired ole phrases it is Rehab. If you don't get the gist of this phrase, it simply means; if it does not concern you, let it go. Don't let the stupid shit eat you up inside.
I usually let a lot of shit eat me up inside. I allow a lot of people to "rent space" (another beaten to death Rehab cliche) in my head, and it's just not healthy.
I have to say that I have been great at not doing this these days, so it sort of stuck out recently when this guy in the house just BUGGED the FUCKING living SHIT out of me.
He is this gross, dated QUEEN who wears acid washed jeans that look like they came from KMart to showcase his expansive buttocks wherein his top body is lean...sort of like a Bartlett Pear. He looks like he may be a Petri dish of diseases and he is very non chalant about having long dirty fingernails, then not abiding by the rules to wear rubber gloves when you are touching or nearing the community food in the house.
I was living on salads recently until I saw those filthy talons dig into the center of a head of iceberg and I basically wanted to have my insides steam cleaned.
I hope most of you reading this know that his being a nancy boy has nothing to do with my complete disdain for this character.
He is this nosy fuck who pops up all over the house in the weirdest places as he just stares and needs to know what is going on. He shuffles through the mail before the head counselor looks at it and he Viciously talks about people behind their backs.
They say (another one!) that when you get sober, you are the age mentally of the person you were before you started. I'm basically according to that rule, a teenager. I do not want to do this High School BULLSHIT all over again.
I'm thinking devious thoughts lately about telling someone about this guys antics so I could get him kicked out, but that seems evil. Evil, yet true.
So, as I rolled out of my room today, to start this great day off, there he was, sitting by the front door, watching all the comings and goings of everyone like that pain in the ass woman we all had on the block when we were growing up who knew everyone's business.

Globes Wrapup

Nothing made me happier than my girl, Mary Louise Parker winning for "Weeds" beating out all thos bitchie housewives who will be on a Reality Show five years from now. I don't get Eva Longoria. She reminds me of a Q-Tip or something. She's too skinny and too small and her face is not that great people.
That guy from "Lost" and "Hettie Wainwright Mysteries" Dominic Monaghan was suing some people about a year ago for saying that he is gay, yet,when I went to the Getty Images, there he was posing with Nathan Lane. That'll squelch em! Melanie Griffith looks abysmal and Virginia Madsen is the epitomy of a gorgeous REAL Woman. Saw a picture of Mariah Scarey and she always looks like she is retaining about 4 gallons of liquid and is about to bust her seams. BTW, I'm loving those fat pix of Janet Jackson, but, I dont really think that this is her. I just can't understand it. Wasn't she at Michael's trial wearing like a white hootchie suit? Wasn't that trial within the last 8 months or so? I feel like Rip Van Winkle. Yeah, it is possible to gain 40 or 50 pounds in a couple of months. I did. It was called the Vodka and totally ravenous appetite when you woke out of your stupor diet. I gained 45 pounds in like, 4 months. I also lost it all in Rehab. I just hope she doesn't go through this big Ab-Crunching Bullshit Starvation thing again. She should embrace her cherubicness.
Man, Zach Braff is not the greatest looker, is he. Kinda reminds me of what Ray Romano may have looked like in college. I love seeing the afterparty pictures and you see all these POSER RAPPERS at the parties trying to act all sophisticated and refined. Hollywood really makes me sick some (most) times. I wish I had the opportunity to invite whom I would like to some after gig. I'd personally do the door that night.
"Don't you know who I am?"
"Yeah" I would answer, "...and that is the reason why you are still waiting here."
Chris Kattan at the Golden Globes...Can you imagine how much he was seething with jealousy at every former SNL Player, Host, Musical Guest, Gaffer, Best Boy ect...wishing he had their career!
Harrison Ford is kinda dick-y huh?
I think I used to live with Kate Walsh, who is either on 'Grey's Anatomy' or 'House'. She was dating this guy I was sharing a sublet with. If it's the same one from the Drew Carey Show about 6 years ago, then it is her. More to come when I digest the afterbirth of this night and spew more venom. Looks like my Wellbutrin is not working.

Just three years behind

Being technically inept; I just found out that I can view DVD's and Burn Discs on my laptop. Scoff if you must, I'm a dink, I know it. Although the halfway house does not allow PC's and Lap Tops and Mini DVD Players; the thieves I'm living with will be the first one's to help you find what they just stole, I'm sort of sneaking around with this. Besides the fact that I have a surge plug with about 20 wires plugged in and only a lamp visible makes me a prime candidate for getting busted whenever one of the counselors comes around for a room check. That blue glow that emanates from the screen saver does not help matters much either. One of my other roommates has a personal DVD player after seeing me enjoy myself and being able to not associate with the douche bags I reside with.
Anyway, I still can't afford to join a Video Store (NON BLOCKBUSTER if there is any!) so I've been relying on the library. Today I took out "Swimming Pool." It was a small film with great reviews. It reminded me of the same acclaim that "Sexy Beast" received when it came out. Wow, this film was great; with fantastic performances from Charlotte Rampling and this young chippie names Ludivine Sagnier (whom I looked up on IMDB and found out that she has been at this acting gig for about 16 years. I thought she was some blond with nice tits whom the director pulled out of obscurity). The greatest line in the movie is when C.R's character who is a writer meets an up and coming writer in her agents office. Overhearing that he has just recently won a writing award, Rampling muses when he leaves that "...awards are like hemorrhoids, after a while every Ashley gets one." SNAP!
The movie is really good; I highly recommend it. Next up from the 'Elmhurst Library eclectic Film Batch' is "Jules and Jim."

"Match Point" Aces the Loews Competion

I was recently given a couple of free movie tickets. I had to use them at any Loews Theater (or Magic Johnson Theater <--- 5 theaters of "In the Mix"...no thanks). In Manhattan there are about 6 Loews Theaters and some of these bastards are like Milli-Plexes. I thought I could catch a lot of cool movies I missed while I was in Rehab. No such luck. It seems that every Loews has every single same movie as their sister theater. So, "Wolf Creek" playing on two of the 6 screens on 19th street is also on 3 of the 25 at 42nd street and so on. I was lucky enough to spot the new Woody Allen film "Match Point" in a solitary one screen on East 11th. The film is very good; for those who hate Woody; he's not in it. Neither is his usual star, New York. The whole story takes place in London and it stars a mostly Brittish Cast with the exception of Scarlett Johanson. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is excellent as is the supporting cast. The movie is intriguing and it moves along with well paced editing. The London used here as the backdrop is a London that shines even when it is overcast out. All in all , I recommend checking this movie out, if you can even find it out there.

Like; it's Literally, red.

Some wrote to me to say which words seemed to be overused in 2005, which; literally, were not in too many peoples lexicon.
The ghetto house where I currently reside has me hearing new words or street terms all the time. The one I hear the most is 'shorty'. This little tub of butter who is my roomate just got out of a 21 day rehab and when my other roomie asked him if he wanted to go to a meeting (AA) with us, he said; "Dam man, I just wanna see's (sic) my (pronounced mies) shorty'. I'm guessing (his girlfriend. Yikes and shudder is all I can say to seeing there reunion.

I've gotta tell someone...

The coolest story in the world...
I tried to get the link to the story in the Daily News but it was such a small story I guess they did not put it on line. It seems this guy was burning his trash (I'm guessing this is the norm where he comes from). Anyway, I suspect he caught a mouse in his house (alive), so he decided to throw the mouse (alive) in the rubbish fire. The mouse sort of did a 'wow, it all of a sudden got very hot here' and dashed from the fire, ON FIRE, and ran into the mans house, which proceeded to BURN DOWN!!! The paper talked to him, FROM HIS MOTEL ROOM for a comment. This is the funniest shit I have read in a while!

I'm a lazy bastard...........

Well, maybe not...
With the glut of blogs everywhere by everybody in the freaking world clamoring for recognition and trying to be wittier or nastier than the next person I sort have been going through a certain malaise about writing. Although I'm featured on some of my friends blogs in the 'other sites' listings, I'm wondering if anyone really does that anymore. Shit man, I'm on the computer about three or four hours a day, and I kind of feel guilty sometimes. Like I am neglecting my other life, or is my only life what I am doing now.
I have to say that four hours on the computer goes a helluva lot faster than 4 hours at a job. Sometimes I look at the time and I'm like, shit; how the hell did that go so fast, yet waiting for five minutes on the frigging line at the bank seems like a freaking dentists visit.

Has anyone noticed that the word "queue" is becoming pretty popular these days? I would hear my friends from the UK use this word about 15 years ago and then I adopted into my vocabulary; but some a lot of North Americans were like, "Um, what the fuck is he saying?"
If you have noticed some words gaining mainstream popularity, let me know...