Funny Story about a Long Hair

I was hanging out on the beach with my friends...Meghan's was the name. I think. The beach,ya know. Dan was saucing up his lovely and I had jut finished an extreme game of Kadima with another good friend.
I went to relax at a picnic table and as I was looking at my cool toe's (second one is bigger), I saw this hair.
It was at least 6 inches long. I thought it was from some plankton or such from below the sea, but it was wedged into the space above my second toe (roast beef). It was ingrained. Me and Dan laughed about it. It was always fun (to them) to make fun of me. I plunked it out that day all though,it was embarrassing, I wanted it.
I have this eyebrow lash.
I have always wanted big ass eyebrows.
I tried mascara but I smear too much.
I touch my face, fight it...a lot
I have this eyebrow lash that is like 1 and a half inches long.
Serious.

Me: As A Doggie

God...I want to rescue him/her...(tears streaming)

Berkley

I'm all for no plastic bags and no happy meals...but taking in the guys from Guantanamo is so fucking liberal, I don't know if I can deal guys. I realize that 80 percent are innocent. Give me a different perspective please. Housing in San Fran/Berkely is basically 98% occupied-the most in the country. I am poor and need to leave my house, I would dig living in these area's.

How in the Hell did I ever like you?

This section is dedicated to people we thought we loved and admired and then we grew. And then we said, "echhh".

"Archer" :Best Show I just discovered

I was reading a lot about this show "Archer" on FX but it never registered. I knew it was a cartoon. Then I heard H.Jon Benjamin was in it voicing the main character. You may remember him as Slacker son Ben to Dr.Katz in sqiggle-vision. Then I just read a cool article on NYMag.com by the "Archer" guys,and it was so cool.

Don't get me wrong, I like a few cartoons/adult fare. I like/d "The Simpson's" (obvious), and "Daria","King...Hill" and even"Beavis...". I just don't have the frosh humor of "Family Guy",geeky nerdom of "Futurama". I was ambivalent.

"Archer"is one of the best written shows on T.V. It has more double entandre's and jokes in a minute than "30 Rock", which is a tall order.

I like how the main character's look so much like themselves. With no disrespect to J. Benj, cause Archer is the biggest stud, Mommas boy,spoiled lonely brat.

Try and get the first season from Netflix because the 2nd season just started and you can catch up. (I also know a site where you can watch for free. Ssshhhh!)

God Almighty

Have you ever read the comments on HuffPo. Dont. That goes for The Daily Beast and especially Gawker. Tools.

Things onTV when you are a kid

There wasn't much. "In my day" we had channels 1-13 plus (hopefully nudies) on UHF which resulted in Spanish wrestling.

I remember being with my brother in our room and tuning into one of the first broadcasts of Sesame Street.

On Sundays we use to watch "Wonderama" and "Abbott and Costello".

Weekdays was a steady stretch of "Romper Room" and my man here. He use to have a morning exercise class/show, and like most Americans we watched on our belly in the living room . Rest in Peace mister.

How Can You See So Many Movies (on your budget)?

A friend of mine from the Talent Agency in L.A. sends me a bunch of the end of the year screeners.
Just watched
"Easy A" great! (no sarcasm)
"Fockers 3" Unbearable. Just, like, yech.
"The Fighter" Awesome
"Black Swan" Eh...Campy
"True Grit" review below
I have like 8 more to watch....(Burlesque!!) <--ha

My Globe Predictions

If you never knew,the Globes are a 'lick ass fest'. They are smart, they want all the hottest people there, and so,this coillition of sychophants nominate everyone that they want to have 1 minute of face time with. So they can virtually jerk off to having had met them afterwards.
Regardless:
Actress Supp. Role Drama: My girl, Melissa Leo (If you have never seen 'Frozen River', you are missing the best).

Supporting Actor Drama: Christian Bale This is the biggest lock.

Foreign Film: I'm going with Swinton goddess and "I Am Love"

Director: Christopher Nolan for "Inception" which I am watching right after this post. I did not feel the Social Network had such great direction. It was a great movie, but ploddy. Ya kno?

Television Series Drama: Mad Men (A lot of people love 'Braking Bad' and "Boardwalk Empire'which I both love,but....Mad Men would be my desert island)

Actress Drama- tough one but I pick Elizabeth Moss

Actor Drama- Hamm- hamms down (ha)

Com TV Show- Modern Family (for normal tv,thisis awesome)

Actress Com-Torn between Linney and Fey yet I absolutely love Collette

Actor Comedy- Jim Parsons better win (2nd favorite show...Big Bang...)

Supp. Actress- Kelly MacDonald (Boardwalk Empire ruled)

Supp. Actor- Eric Stonestreet (Cam from Modern Fam)

We will see in a day or so...

True Grit

This girl deserves a Paquin.

This girl was unbelievably true (Listen to the Coen Bros talk on Terry Gross' show) grit.

I absolutely believed her in this role.

What a cool girl. She was only 13 and the last dozen chosen. Great movie. My only qualm is that when I watch it again on DVD. I have to put the sub-titles on for Jeff Bridges. And, I NEVER even could guess that was Matt Damon.

Wow. Great flick.

Did anyone see "The Fighter"?

I will write more about this tomorrow after my GG recap. Christian Bale was amazing in this and he does not win it is a travesty. Besides that he does not play up to these idiots i the GG stratosphere.

Best TV of 2010

God knos I watch too much TV. But half of to 2/3rds of it I watch online through illegal means (China tv et al).

• Mad Men : the best tv has to offer
• Breaking Bad: Can not imagine this show lasting another season due to it's storyline
• Nurse Jackie: she got busted. Edie (one of my fav. names) is in hot saline
• Modern Family: So much to love
• The Big C: Laura Linney:enough
• Weeds: Best ending for the last to ending season
• Boardwalk Empire: Michael Pitt, Michael Shannon...have I said too much?
• United States of Tara: new identity/still has Toni Collette
• ProjectRunway: Mondo and Andy were my first episode favs.

Spiderman-The Musical

I don't know if this has translated across the States or the pond or the oceans but this deal is a collosal flop, and I smile. Let me fill you in. Second coming of Christ in his own sunglassed blindness is Bono and the ugly guy who got dumped by Naomi Campbell, the Edge produced this 65 Million dollar flop-tastic joke. Julie Taymor, director of many acclaimed plays and flops was to inflict her horrors onto millions of unsuspecting tourists. It was concieved for the stage over a year ago, with rehersals and all. It came to fruition about 3 weeks ago with previews (meaning, reviewers can not base their essay on these preformances). Lucky reviewers. Who lost 2 teeth by a flying cable,which audience member almost got shanked, it's a comedy of errors.
Backstory: they took this classic theater and rubbled it to make it more doable.
They have this grandiousity that is previously seen in Pol Pot and Hitler.
Monday night,one of the Spidermen plunged 200 feet to a near death.
Anyone wanting to see this show is the same rubbernecking idiot who wants to see a mangled body in thecar that caused a 45 minute backup on the 5.
As a side note. I saw U2 in 81' when they played Cornell and I was in love with them. This dissapated soon after when Mr. Frontman proclaimed himself the second coming. Kind of after "One" came out.

I Don't Know You, But I Think I Would Dislike You...immensely

For God sakes, he denied Susan Boyle "Perfect Day". I mean, c'mon.

What!! What is wrong man

Dexter is divorcing his tv sister....What is wrong with you straighties? Serious! 2 years? I do not tongue kiss in this time!!!This distresses me.

Scary Movie

I just talked to C----from Fla.
She happened into this Community Workshop for like a strength (personal/no physical) session. 15 clams. She happened to have entered the Twilight Zone 2010.
It was if the Mentalist from CBS joined forces with some retired Floridian. He picked her out cause he said anyone know anyone with a "B" that's dead? Serious...He picked her out and after he spoke about her aunt taking care of her he mentioned a dead female. She was oblivious,though... her 15bucks was well spent when she remembered he was talking about Kerry.
She perked. They were together that day. I asked her (Kerry) half-heartily to come to St. Martin with me, I did not want her to say yes, but I asked. It was my B-day and I was gonna surprise myself with the fact that I was gonna be me. P.S. Nothing happened I flew into the St.Thom airstrip (!) after I was greeted with rum punch,I called Jay.
This was..up till now the worst phone call in my life.
Me: Hey man,I am at the airport, I will be between the Rum Punch guy and the patois wagon.
Jaybird:Michael...I have some bad news

Have you ever scene a grown man bawl by himself in an airport/pseudo port? I have never lived this down my friends. I absolutely loved this woman and her sis and her nephew and yet, she died so savagely.
This dude told C---- that she had a great day(prior),that she (for what it is worth) died instantly. She made a bad turn (how the fuck did he know this) and she is Watching over a guy she really cared for named Michael, Mitchell?
I need to express one or two things. I have a zero religious denominations (?) embodying me. I still pray. I believe in God, but not the God that is zealotry or conforming.
I have known about 6 people in my life who have died, but my fondness goes to my Grandma and Kerry. For which I can say, every time I pray, I ask them to hear me.
I have not been so frigging touched in so long to hear that this gorgeous woman I was so foolishly having sex with because I was so ashamed of my self is watching. Cripes, what an eye full she has had.
I needed to write this because I have felt guilty for over 20 years.
I just need to tell this Pshyc dude, you really helped me. I think you took away the drink from me, and I swear I am crying like a newborn. Please my dear Kerry, hold my hand.

I love writing like this...I hope you likey. Much Love, Mick

Island of Misfit Toys Pt. II

Ya know...when I moved to St.Thomas, I found a bunch of people who did a similar move, (Me: I went for a wedding and never went back). I absolutely loved these people, yet, I scrawled, on our graffiti strewn apartment(our own Harring existence) that this WAS the island of Misfit toys. This was not a dis.

I feel like this is the existence wherein I want to live.

Maybe it is pressures of trying to find a job, or like (gulp) trying to find a lover and stuff, but I find (I sense it) myself getting very ornery. I'm a grouch/sceptical for most parts of my day. I see zero acts of kindness while I have headphones on listening to bands who promote loveliness. The days of the "ole cat ran up a tree and the firemen came out" scenario is so gone. Nice makes page 8, under the fold.

I left St.Thomas because crack became an epidemic there and I sensed it. I actually went with this guy called Tan to buy it (cue Elvis), in the ghetto.

And in 2 months I lost my job, my sanity, my pseudo girlfriend and I felt myself slipping into hell. A hell which I still have a mailbox at.

I never told anyone about my extra-curricular activities. I was just, not present sometimes.

What I need to say is, that, obviously every place has it's Crack-town these days, I still feel I would have bettered myself to stay. The Internet and all that shit was not around. Cripes...did I even have a Walkman? Ya see? Sweet dreams...

Pick Your Face and Vaccum Your Carpet 24/7

When I lived in West Hollywood, I lived below this MethHead.See, even though I knew this chemical to be crank in the mid-80's in Atlantic City where I worked, it kind of nose dived as a drug(at leat in my circles) until I moved to WeHo (!) in the late nineties.

It was ramapant among every single person in Hollywood but still eluded me...<---My first thoughts, in the 80's was of snorting Drano/Fantastic/A&H Baking Soda. My circles were so small in Los Angeles that I could not believe it when I heard that all of a society was gak-ing.

I may have told you before that I was the later attendant of Chastity (now Chaz) Bono's apartment. I told you lesbians are cheap....this place was 570 when I rented it and a studio. She may have moved out because who knew that the guy living directly above me in the same architectually (sp) designed apartment was a Meth head. Prominent among gays in these days he would either be vacuuming his 200 sq foot apartment for 15 hours of the day or else he would be dropping what sounded to be a bowling ball (12 lb.) every 15 seconds. And people wonder why I drank?

I never thought a T.V. show about Meth would pique my interest. I need to state that "Breaking Bad" is among this fellow T.V. Heads favorite shows, ever. Top 5...Bar none. I rented seasons 1 & 2 from the library and I started watching 2 days ago, and I feel like (hah) I could use a little of the witches Comet to follow through watching every episode. It is wonderful. Now where is my Electralux?

Gerri Blank meet Mickeyitaliano

Today I read that Staten Island has the most , per capita scrips for Oxycontin/done. Some old fuck doctor got arrested for writing these, and all I can say is: "Uh Huh". My ennui continues. There is no place to call home these days, like the bucolic neighborhoods Tim Burton created for "Edward Scissorhands." I just wanna go home, but I do not want any familiar faces there. <--great line for a song

GOODBYE PT.I

Ah Ming!!...He has been one of my favorite Chefs for about 15 years or so since he began his PBS show ("East Meets West"). He made it all the way to the finals for "The Next Iron Chef" and he was eliminated last night. I picked him and the female Chef who also got 86'd last night from the first show of 15 competing Chefs. He is a cool guy and I hope he gets another chance. You have had to have beaten an Iron Chef on a previous show of that season to be on this. I think Ming beat Battalli (yeah!). Anyway, I hope I did not scare any of you who are fans of his to think that he was goners in that other way.