Bette Davis didn't dot her 'i';s.

it's 7:30am on Sunday and I have jkl; imprinted on face.
I'm trying to write all my journals.
I'm on this keith haring jobbie.(a journal I bought at his store)
It deals with Miami (South beach).
There was this guy. i totally discovered him.
He was quite possibly the hottest guy who walked the earth.
His name was Ernie Levy (hhm. Jewish name, spoke not abeat of English..must be Argentian)
He worked and ran this store called "Carol Rollo" on a seedy street.
He was always there.
If I could explain his face.
His nose was unreal. What a profile.
I think he was losing his hair, he wore a hat a lot.
When i moved back to NYC, I would see him in some random pics. from 'Paper Mag" or whatever, weird don't you think.
I obsessed (see Laura) over him.
Sometimes Bri and myself would go in the store (mind you, he's a model) nothing. We would leave kind of laughing.
He likes bottoms.

"Wake me up before you go-go"

I have been a complete insomniac lately.
Money/Job problems. Same shit, different day.
This past week, I believe i slept a total of 15 hours. 7 days.
Joyce called; she made a windfall in India. She is lending me 500 clams.
On Friday (the day of the phone call) I slept 17 hours straight. It was right before 'Judge Judy', at like 3:58 pm (EST).
I like familiar voices to fall asleep to...The guy from 'American Justice' is the best. NPR is good as well as BBC News.
Tonight, after watching SNL, I fell asleep. I knew that 'Evening @ The Apallo' was next, so I changed the channel towards something that ran for like 3 hours and would not irk me.
MSNBC. I know. Lot's of commercials. But I thought it would be 'white noise' for me. Until. Until, this report on San Quentin or whatever. Then this jailbird starts to sing. I was like half awake and waiting for it to end. It did not. I finally woke and just clicked to Nickolodean. I hate r&B to begin with, and now to have it subjected upon me, REM cycle, is not fair. I clicked back, and this dude is still going on.
Lesson: R&B sucks and every person who bought a Mariah or R.Kelly CD should be tatooed.

Alpha, Beta, Zeta

I hate talking about celebs here, but the inevitable happens. They are on the tube all day, on the covers of magazines (remember when Linda Evangilsta ruled), they are on voice overs in commercials and their every moves are blogged ad nauseam (sp).
I was living with Mrs. Italiano(mom) when I tuned into her basic cable and saw some (NBC...I think) movie based on 'Titanic"...this was like 4 months before the Leo/Kate blockbuster. The movie had a Speilberg connection or some sorts. As I was watching, I saw this captivating woman. She just took over the screen. She was freaking gorgeous in this, black haired, hazel eyed kind of way. The kind of chick you root for on a Miss Universe contest. The gorgeous underdog from Sri Lanka.
She was, as I watched the credits, Catherine Zeta Jones.
After that, I guess Speilberg in his lair, saw the rushes and popped one off while watching her.
Fast Forward...That dueling flick with scuzzy Banderas and then Connery.
Pat my back.
Okay, I'm waiting.

Smashing Pumpkins

I'm not into the whole Halloween thing. You know how some (straight) guys just CAN NOT wait to get into drag and see if perhaps they would be a hot chick? I know a lot of gay muscle dudes do the same thing as well. Anyway, I was living on Thompson St. At the time of this great shindig going down. The twist was, everyone had to be in costume. I kind of fail in the creativity department when it comes to these things.
I went to 'Abracadabra' (an all year round costume/prop store) on the 31st and just walked around and around in like this cluster fucked haze of ambivalence. I left, but I had my eye on this fake Academy Award I spied. I went home and looked at the invite again and pumped up my motivation (a drink may have been involved). I went back to Abracadabra and this time I noticed this dreadlocked wig.
Ding!
Whoopie Goldberg had just won an Academy Award a year or so before. I bought the wig and the award. I went to 14th street and bought this tacky dress and some size 11 heels. Then I saw these black gloves with pink nails attatched (WTF!). I went to CVS and bought this CoverGirl Cappuchino foundation.
Before I left my house I snapped a few pictures.
The bottom of my building was this restaurant with a facade of floor to ceiling windows. it was 9:30 pm and as always, it was packed. When i walked past the first window I looked in. Someone pointed at me and suddenly everyone in the restaurant was looking. I held up my Academy Award and mouthed in a not very politically correct accent, "I Won". God almighty, I must have been so drunk or delussional. The party was near The Palladium (14th street), and I decided to walk the whole way. What was I thinking? I'm this white boy dressed as a black woman in the East Village! I got stopped so often to take pictures with tourists and the like. The party was disappointing based upon all the build up in my mind. I think I came in third for best costume. I wish i could scan this picture for you, but lacking a scanner, I can't.
This Halloween I'm going to check out Cary Brothers @ The Living Room.

Songs from my Funeral CD Pt. I

I don't have a will, nor a life insurance policy. I have no bequeeths (sp) except that I hope someone does something with my journals...no one in my family 'reads'. With that said, I have been making CD's to play at my "Fischer Funeral Home" when I croak. This first song I am enlightening to you is sadly, a song Karen Carpenter sang. Not like, "oh, I'm too cool for "The Carpenters", but more like, they were cooler than you think." Karen was singing all these songs of despair and gloominess and making them Top Ten Hits. (Rainy Days, anyone)
It's called "A Song For You" as sung by the ineffable Dusty Springfield from "Dusty in Memphis". I use to have this two line verse as my voice message: "And when my life is over, remember when we were together...we were alone and now I'm singing this song for you."
Nuff said.
P.S. I tried to find the link to ITunes, but (cough) I am too weak. Love, mickey

Lacking Iron; Chef

Here's a little note to all you 'culinista's'...I have just discovered the spice 'sage'...I have only used it in the past with stuffing recipe's. Recently, when I went to the .99 store to stock up on spices (because you are a fucking sucka if you buy spices in Pathmark @ 3.99) and Sage was one of the ones I threw in for the hell of it. Today, I was like 'starvin' Marvin who just smoked a huge jay. I had these chicken breasts defrosted and I rolled them in 60% sage, 10% white pepper and some Kosher salt (the 30% missing consisted of paprika, garlic powder and fresh parsley). I then wet the breasts (kind of salacious) and pressed them in this mixture and then sauteed them in half butter/half olive oil. It was awesome. I swear. If I was an entertainer like Amy Sedaris or Martha, I would have made a sauce, but this chicken; on the great bread I just bought from Sullivan Street Bakery was amazing. I also see some lemon rind in this recipe as well for the future.

Maybe I'm Amazed

Does anyone really ccare about Paul McCartney anymore? He is on this A&E Special. God, I hope it was like; some A&E stupid production manager , who got a call (from aul's peeps)and said Mrs.Doutfire was going to do a concert and then they blew the whole load on this crap. Besides his stupid ex-wife and the gossip these days, who wants to see a man who still is living in the Gilligan phase? Granted, he had some okay stuff with the 'Wings', but fucking give it up already. He feels that everytime he strums on a guitar, girls are going "Ahhhhhh."
No, Paul...you kind of suck, and your audience is now filled up by "Tiger Beat" fatties from the mid-west who had no balls to come to NY for the Shea concert.

Ginger is palitable...

For Bart...To recognize the hotness.
"Death Scream"
"The Day The Women Got Even"
"Friendship, Secrets & Lie's"
"Nightmare in Badham County"
"Rosemary's Other Baby"

ah man, those channel 7 Friday night movies ruled.

Some Paella for Thursday...

Someone needs to dig into Andrea Peyser's history and discover something.


In a city of 9 million people, don't cha think we would be first on Sprints list to make service available? My third apartment and all I do is ROAM.


A Proud Daddy: I 'discovered' Cate Blanchett when I saw "Paradise Road" and then "Oscar and Lucinda" before she made her semi breakthrough with "Elizabeth." Please invest your movie dollars in "Babel."

My newest wage per hour is less than what a babysitter makes. (see desperate/AKA Mario Battali's place)

Waiting for the Night

Sandy West died.
I am so sad.
Joan dedicated her show on Saturday night.

The song "Everyday is like Sunday" (Morrissey) came on as I wrote the last entry.

Romper Room

Did you ever listen to a song and get so enraptured. So caught up in the beauty and the melodies. You are a thousand miles from here(space), that you don't care about looking cool for that party; that your breathe is ok,;that your tits actually look good in that shirt.
I love being transported to this place.
I pray that you can feel this today.
I do.
mick

Job #312

When i lived in Miami beach, I worked @ this Youth Hostel. It was the second greatest job in my life. I met people from every country.
Being Italian by insemination, I had an affinity to these T.O.N.Y.'s
The thing is; everyone(Japanese, German, French et al) knew a little English, but it seems all these Italians were like goats in the road.
I honestly prayed for them and their safety. They were like "We go to Hialeah", and I'm like "NO" you will get killed.
I am smiling so much this morning because I just downloaded a compalation ofPearl Jams greatest hits in Europe. One stop was Bologna, Italy and they(the Italians) sang/knew every song. Fast forward to me bawling.

So, not the hipster

I was at Wigstock (maybe 1989 or 90) with Phineus (yeah, that was his name; for true). He had come from Florida, a guest, I guess.
Some girl had this 1940's camera, and she took our photo. I regaled then recinded.
That night Phin told me he had read all my journals.
I'm still finding markings in the margin where he wrote his little extra's.
Little fuck.

Just like Yesterday

I was working at 'Lemon' which was in itself a freaking lemon, but this was 1996. Fuck! I can not believe it.
The only reason why I know this is because Alanis M. came out with a 10 year retrospective on her album.
We were holding the after party for(Alanis) Maddie's label, and the success off the aforementioned.
None of us were that psyched to tell you the truth.
Then someone set up a mic in the alley and stated that Sade was going to be here. It took less than five minutes for everyone @ Lemon to have a boner or hard nipples. I'm not lying. Frig Madonna...fucking Sade was going to be here.
Sade never showed, but tons of artists did. Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins) smoothed over my dome and (he newly shorn) regaled in me.
The biggest 'what the fuck' came by seeing the guys from 'Alice in Chains.' Man, they looked so hot.
2 months later...Layne Stanely killed himself.
I honestly wanted to cuddle up to layne. He looked so hot, in a suit, I thought he had his shit together. I was wrong. Poor bubby.

"Brothers and Sisters"

Wattch it...

Give me an "L"

Man, I've been the biggest loser on the interview front. I can't seem to put my finger on where I am going wrong.
I'd hate to name drop but I have this awesome (conservative) Hugo Boss suit, and I shaved my head so meticulously and then I have this thing with dropping 25 cent words into the conversation, and still, I leave these interviews barren. No hope in sight. I'm not trying too hard, yet I may be, subconsciously.
I just wish I had a friend who knew me and said, "Go to H.R. on Monday morning and we will take it from there." I have so much to offer and it kind of makes me all sorts of bummed out.
Should I be blatant: "I have a very high IQ and you will succeed with me in this position." How pretentious.
I know I am going to be slicing ham for you behind the deli counter. I should have networked.

Rhymes with Osama

Seems like the Dems are hip on Barak Obama. Yeah, he's got his shit together and all, but is this our new failure for the next elections? What's wrong with Joseph Biden? Man, when I hear this guy talk, I question why he is not mentioned more often. I think he has some skeletons and it sucks because with a Biden/Obama ticket, we could win.

6 degrees of Kevin Bacon

I think it was 1993 or 4 that I worked at 'The Sunset Marquis Hotel & Villa's.' I started by being a room service order taker (great stories) and then I was moved up to 'private villa butler.' We had 6 villa's (condo's) wherein people (uber money) rented these out for months at a time while they were filming whatever. I was the 'liaison' between the manager/handler and the hotel. They went to me first. It was weird and fun. If Al Pacino called at 3:30 am and asked for a 'bloody Caesar', I was there. I was on call all the time.
Linda Perry checked in. She was from 'Four non Blondes' fame. "Hey, hey...What's going on"
She was so cool. I sat there in my starched white chef coat thing which I was required to wear as she strummed acoustic, with her gorgeous voice. Back then she was sporting those nasty dreadlocks. Hey, she was a lesbian in a mans world.
She has worked with C. Aguliera and others, but most noteworthy is the work she is doing with Courtney Love.
Right after I left this job (heh), Courtney checked in and had a huge fight with Trent Reznor. Dam. I missed this.
I can go on print by saying 'America's Sweetheart' (courtney's first solo) is not as bad as every disector makes it out to be.
I guess you have to love the voice first, ya know.
She's no Dusty S.
I bought the 'teenage whore' album on whim. A whim that took me to Hackensack since Bleeker Bob's did not have it.
I am loving the new Courtney, I just can not put to much faith in her, because I lack faith in myself these days.

Grassy knowles

My head is going to implode. These Republicans have a commercial which has Bin Laden's face and a ticking time bomb voice over in the backround.
I want to scream. I want to tackle this asshole commander in chief.
Thanks for making us a paranoid state.
Look at these asshole politicians. They all think they are in the ring. How does any country which considers themselves free have so much polorizing views?
We are not free. We are so seperated. Besides asswipe coming for the UN meetings, when was the last time in the last 6 years that Bush has been in New York? Does he visit any sates? This is like 'America's jumping the shark' with this guy in command. And i blame everyone over 18for not voting.
I know, I am going to get my ass out there to get fags to vote. Maybe there is a j/o slash voting booth in Chelsea?
We are not only the laughingstock, but also the biggest target.

Sigh

When the day is long
and the night,
the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough
of this life,
well hang on.
Don't let yourself go,
everybody cries
and everybody hurts
sometimes.
Sometimes everything is wrong.
Now it's time to sing along.
When your day is night alone,
(hold on, hold on
If you feel like letting go,
(hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life,
well hang on.

Joke

A boss and his worker were in the storeroom.
The boss turns to the worker and says;
"I'm going to need you to look after things for a couple of days"
The worker asks;
"Why boss, what's up?"
The boss states;
"I'm going to Saskatchawan"
The worker says;
"What are you going there for, the only thing that comes from Saskatchawan
are whores and hockey players"
The boss says;
"My wife is from Saskatchawan"
Two beats later, the worker asks;
"What position does she play."

Thanks to David Rackoff "Fraud"
I am usually in the workers position of foot in mouth syndrome.

That's some rough shit

60 Minutes had a great piece tonight on the Duke lacrosse players who were accused of raping the stripper they invited over. Because of the racial make up of Dukes surrounding areas (mostly black-low income) juxtaposed by the students families (rich-mostly white), a witch hunt was brought on by the state and the media. No one realized an over zealous D.A., lack of evidence and the credibility of the stripper in question was as newsworthy as headlines about spoiled white frat boys and rape.
Ed Bradley also talked to the other stripper who denies any of this happened. I love the timed photo's they show that one of the players took of the stripper passed out by their door. Of the injuries she claims she sustained but were visible before the alleged attack in the photos. Of her swinging on a pole 2 weeks afterwards.
This was a great journalistic investigation.
One thing that made me wonder was when the DA was asked about the lack of DNA evidence, he said; "...We did not have DNA 20 years ago and we handled these cases..." Yeah, did they not use to hang people 60 years ago for this kind of thing, based soley on accusations?
Rape is serious, I know, and I know the statistics and I fear for my niece. But I feel that besmirching three guys names is just as worse.

Pretty on the Inside

I love Courtney, always have. Through thick and thin (body types), all albums and all public nusinces. This is a clip from a documentary shown in England and was filmed around April of this year, it's pretty cool how she seems like she has her shit together.

"So, you like rollerskating..."

One of my favorite 'Simpsons' episodes is when Lisa thinks she is Fugly. She is getting this caricarture done, and the guy is like, "You like rollerskating right? Everybody likes rollerskating." Obviously it was the only thing he could draw.
Is it me or are people just caricatures of there lives these days.
A couple of years back there was this commercial wherein this studly guy drove up in a Vette or something. The women in the background saying something about his over compensating. It got a lot of press.
These days, I look around, and it's like no one has any identity. White boys trying to be black. Asian chicks trying to be white/black. Grandpa homos trying to be young. And it's all in the same vein. Advertisement. If I was on 'Survivor' and was naked for a month straight and then I found an Abercrombie shirt, I would not wear it.
I wanna upchuck every time I log onto a guy who I may want to meet and he's sporting some 'Sexyback' (barf) look. Grow the fuck up.
When I sometimes want to comment on sites, I read the previous posts and then I sign off. These are people I do not want to be around. I'm such a cunt. I know.
I made light of this earlier in a post entitled: "What not to do do when you pose for a personal ad picture." (I think #1 was: don't throw gang signs).
I'm so unsure of the world today. The people running it, the people advertising it and the people profiting off it. I'm a cynical twat and i apologize to any woman reading this, I am using the word twat like the Irish...Meaning...Absolute asshole.
You know what sucks the most? I have kept my INTEGRITY for 20 plus years and here I am bitching about it.

Famous Mouse + Anne Bancrofts real last name

I was on this game show in 2001 called "Smush." It was awful, but I won 4 G's. In Los Angeles,
the LA Weekly (like the Village Voice's sister) lists all these contestant opportunities in the jobs section. If you know me by now, you know I am constantly perusing these pages.
"Smush" was this idiotic show where you combine the answers to clues to come up with a cognizant answer. i.e: "comic strip character w/ Hobbes and 'Fish Called Wanda' star"
answer: Calvin Kline
What do you want? It was on the USA Network and hsted by a former MTV guy (Ken Ober).
Anyway, pre-production I told my competitors that I Don't High 5. Isn't that fucking hysterical! I was like; "No, I don't high 5." I think I 'smushed' knuckles with them(fist like).
The reason why I am bringing this up is because I have been seeing these promo's on Bravo for "Top Chef."
I do not care how giddy I might be to be on a reality show (not much; I'd just want to win) but I would never, ever, be seen doing some idiotic dance, or sitting in a gigantic kettle or looking like a complete asshole.
When i went for the second callback for this show, this ditzy blonde 'producer' told me to come back with 'a secret'...Stupid Whore.
Now, one of the contestants is like 'outing' himself in his promo. WTF does this have to do with cooking?
This show looks like the frigging bus from "Speed"...An Asian, A Pakastani, A gay, A black, A hottie guy w/ facial hair, A slutty chick, The Mad Lesbian et al.
Central Casting would have been easier.
Sometimes when you calculate something too much, it could fail.

This is not an Entertainment Blog

Since every nitwit is into Edie these days, I will unveil my second most loved female (Tina Louise not withstanding).
This movie was introduced to me by a smarmy Quebecquois (sp).
After this, I was the foriegn film cinephile.
I had every poster and postcard of "Betty Blue" (Le Matin 32).
I love that she was caught shoplifting 3 years after this movie by stuffing jewelry in her thigh high boots.
Je t'aime (sp) Beatrice Dalle.

Obsequious I can handle

Laura was this gorgeous dyed blonde (not into blondes BTW) woman/girl I met when I started working at Rafaella. This place is a staple of the West Village. Eclectic antique un-matching chairs and small dessert tables. Way before Starbucks even had a master plan, I worked at Rafaella. Great money, bad hours (shift 4pm-3 am). I was the only guy there at the time which is weird because, hey, it's a block away from Christopher Street and across from the Duplex (queens will know these landmarks).
She was kinda elfin but gorgeous in that she made me laugh my ass off and I made her chuckle, to boot. She was an origional Manhattanite (rare) and she had great taste.
When we became joined at the hip, I kind of had to wonder what the deal was. At this time, I was weighing in with bedding 12 or so girls and 15 or so guys, so I was kind of topsy-turvey.

I walked her home nightly and dealt with her boyfriend woes. When she was on bad guy number 3 I fiqured she was doing this as a wake up call to me to ask her out. She obviously had bad Gaydar. (ha)
We became like Eng and Cheng...joined at the hip. She would come in on her days off to see me, and I decided to take it to a different level.
She called me "OBSESSIVE."
I was like, I know this word, and I think I know what it means, literally, but...obsessive?
I looked it up. (I have to sidebar here and tell you that Laura was very well read...she turned me on to a lot of great classic books).
This is probably the definition I read:
1 : a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling; broadly : compelling motivation
Crestfallen (a fav. word of mine) was how I felt. I also started to sense that I am viewing the people i love with rose colored glasses.

This is not Kansas, Doherty

So, Pete Doherty, the drug addled boyfriend of Kate Moss seems to go to more Rehabs then I go through jobs.
I recently worked with this 12 stepper, and everytime a song came on by Alice in Chains or Blind Melon; I would be like; "poor bubby" (because their singers had O'd ed) and he would respond with, "Good for em."
That's not very 12 stepper-ish.

When addicts are in this position I'm sure a thought goes though the head of the loved ones watching from the sidelines, "Just die already...you are causing us so much pain and grief." They think it but don't say it.
The Babyshambles' record company must be going broke from plopping Pete in these cushy Rehabs. I wish I could suggest St. Christophers for him. It's kind of free, or at least cheaper and he will never get a better handle on his addiction.
These cushy Rehabs for the 'rich' have plasma screen t.v.'s , fridges in the rooms, whirlpools; probably turn down service.
I called 'Promises ' when I lived in Los Angeles. I heard the rate (something astronomical like 10G's a week) and I asked if they had a kind of work (there) /rehab there like program. Un-uh.

Pete or Kate: (if your reading this...Suppressed laughter) come to NY and go to Garrison, NY. There is a train from Grand Central. One of the monks will pick you up. Cross your fingers that you get Stephanie as your counselor. You'll probably drop Kate for Jennifer(another counsel) cause she is smoking. No Pete; I know your eyes lit up when I used that euphemism. She's not actually 'smoking', she is a hotty.

When my drinking was completely out of control (liter of Vodka @ night, two years running) I just wished I had the means and money to go to a desert island and get a grip. That's what pisses me off about this "28 days" mentality. You need 90.
This is my newest script.
Since, thank God, they are not making "A Million Little Pieces" into a movie anymore; please hope that I can sell this beauty. It's called (working title) "In the Road"
Love Mickey

Tidbits in Entertainment

Pretty cool of Bravo to be airing "Six Feet Under"...One of the greatest shows ever.{ on (cable) television.} I watched Season 1 eps. 1&2 yesterday and besides the fact that they turned 'fuck' to 'frick', it really held up. It's sad, because this reminds me of the 2nd greatest job I ever had in my life; working at UTA.

These Audrey Hepburn commercials for "The Gap" seem kind of creepy to me for some reason.

There is this 'Sonic' (food chain. Like a stepdaughter to Wendy's) commercial where these two people are drinking this ghastley Strawberry Cheesecake Milkshake and the guy is going on about his blog. It's kind of funny. I hope you get to see it.

A Mess before Materializing

My teeth are shot.
I may have said it here or in my journal. But for any of you younger ones out there, I have one word for you...
Floss.

When the Italiano boys were young, we would have an interrupted class @ our school. It was some Dental Hygenist giving us these red pills (?) which showed where we had cavities. My teeth must have looked like I ate a box of red hots.
I believe in Gene's these days. I got every single 'BAD' gene and then some.

Hair loss...check (Moms dad...a cueball)
Homosexuality...check (Although this queen could be one of many from both sides; who was
closeted)
Alcoholism...check...not many overt ones, yet I'm sure enough to make a gen-ome
Gingivitis...check (Mom and Dads side)

When I was only 24, I had this haircutter @ Astor Place(NYC) ; telling me I was going bald. The next year, I had insurance and went to the Dentist and I was told I am losing my teeth at an alarming rate and I can not save them.
My last three teeth that came out were removed with my fingers, and hardly a drop of blood fell. It's like my teeth are just hanging in there for the sake of comfortability as if a renter has a fear to move from the apartment they live because they will never find anything better.
I have more bridges than the 5 boro's.

I went to the Dentist the other day . He took molds. I gagged like a new hooker with John Holmes. I screwed up the molds. They had to be returned. More gagging ensued and we sent it out.
Dr. ---- (ends with a stien or a berg) tells me it can not be back until Columbus Day .

I have (tried) to live these past three days without speaking to people. It's been too hard. I look hideous. It is my 3 most upfront teeth (upper) and it sucks.

Moral of this post: Floss

PrePubescent Crushes Pt.II

This is Glynnis O'Connor. I first became aware of her when she starred with Robbie Benson in a movie called "Jeremy" and then a year or so later, in the amazing "Ode to Billie Joe." I totally loved her because of the characters she played and then her hat trick came the next year with "Boy in the Plastic Bubble."
She kind of disappeared off the radar after that, at least to me.
I was thinking of her when I did the 'Robbie Douglas' post yesterday, and two hours later I was watching L&O and; she was on. (I don't get freaked out by these synchronisities anymore, I just wish I could channel the lottery #'s).
Well Glynnis looked good, and I was glad to see her getting work. 

Take a vacation from Procreation

I know it's not elderly crankiness on my part. I think babies are cute and my nieces and nephews mean the world to me.
That said, I am amazed at the halcyon dazed mothers raising these brats today. If these holy terrors are not bad enough in supermarkets; throwing tantrums, opening foods and or throwing jars to exploding salsa messes on aisle 4, we now have kids on roller skating sneakers barreling down the aisles, slamming into shoppers (namely me) and not apologizing, all while their mothers stare blankly ahead and wheel their carts. The obliviousness of their satanic offsprings' destruction upon other shoppers is like a white noise to these Stepford Shop-Riters.
I've worked in instances where (either in Hotel or Restaurant work) families convened, and I would say no matter how classy or casual the establishment, the wrath of these children knows neither racial nor monetary bounds.
Tips increased when I would tell the parents how well behaved their brood was, but those words were not spurted often.
I'm not blaming the mothers, although my mom raised 4 boys while working two jobs and she did a hell of a job (in regard to manners, respect and appreciation). The absent fathers are not around because most are indulging in their own spoiled behaviors.

PrePubescent Loves...PartI

I had the hots for Robbie Douglas from "My Three Sons" growing up. I was kind of pissed when he married the Tina Cole character; that
she- wolf who I believe went by the name Katie. Robbie's real name is Don Grady, and I must say; Don is keeping himself pretty well preserved. I would hate to post a recent picture of Chip or Ernie; Robbie's fictional brothers on the same show, I believe Uncle Charlie has kept himself better than the brothers Livingston, even if he is 6 feet under.

This is one of the best blogs I have read yet

Worker#3116...This guy is a pretty funny bastard

I'm a Danish, I'm a Danish...Fuck me I'm a Danish

Like any dis-repecting homo; I almost got married. Twice!! The first was when Lisa, my Catholic respecting girlfriend missed her period the week after we had sex for the first time. She 'carried' for about 4 weeks before she mis-carried. In those 4 weeks, I already had us on a plane and me working double shifts to make it work (thanks Tim Gunn). We broke up before the yearbook came out and she dedicated her whole half page to me. Sneaky me, on the other hand decided to work for the yearbook that year and got to pull out all the sappy 'Little River Band' references.
Tora was next. Wow, she was a handful. She moaned and groaned when I would hold her hand. I was like, this can't be true. No human could be this into someone. Tora was from Denmark and I thought she only wanted a greencard.Alas, i was wrong.
I saw mis-carriage girl on the ferry about 12 years ago and she is fine, without me.
I looked up Tora on google Denmark and found her, unbelievably. She is fine. Without me.
As my friend Joyce says: Don't flatter yourself.

The company you keep

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Tuesday is for television

I've watched a lot of the tellie today. I hope this is not a trend.
I can not begin to exault to the fact that Brooke Sheilds is on L&O:Criminal Intent tonight. With Donofrio and Kathryn Erbe. Not the Chris Noth pseudo version.
I dig Brooke. Besides the fact that she is half Italian, and she survived by being managed by a lunatic mother; I just dig her so much.
Maybe it's because we are the same age (Keanu, Johnny Depp, et al).
Maybe it's because she prevailed after asshole Cruise's shitstorm towards her.

Please excuse this commercial interuption

You must watch "House of Carter's."
I have no recollection of anything regarding "The Backstreet Boys" but I have to hand it to Nick Carter, besides hooking up with Paris Hilton; I'm totally digging him. He reminds me of my older brother in regards to keeping it together. This poor guy has his hands full.


Breast Cancer Update: Barbara (Babs) just called me. I text-ed her this am while I was giving up my top teeth as she was going in for her 2nd breast deal. The needle went in, and it drained. The Power of Prayer. This means she has cyst's (sounds kind of gross, I know) as oppossed to cancerous cell matter. I had tears coming down my face as she was telling me. Take two seconds to read about this woman. My age...foxy as hell. We kind of clicked with the angel world in a conversation. So, she baught this book last week and I'm sure it was to assuage her uneasy feelings of the breast thing. She calls me two hours later. "Listen"..."I just baught this book and I'm turning down basically every page because I'm reminded of you..."

There are great people in this world.

Heartbreaking

Please watch "Child Star Confidential" on E! if you get the chance.
Besides this, the other morning I woke up at like 6am and there was a show on A&E about child stars. It was like a round table with child stars ranging from 20-70. It was so riveting. Kim Fields (Tootie-"Facts of Life") really stole my heart.
I have to be home today because of some dental work.
E! was on in the dentists' office with this show.
I know we are all tragic, but it is kind of soothing when you hear of someone with beacoup bucks going through the same thing.
I never watched 'Baywatch' , but the kid who was Hasslehoff's son on the show was FUCKED up.
As per Los Angeles, Crystal Meth made him a mess. Jeremy Jackson is his name, and actually, he's kind of hunky.

Getting closer to that 'Soprano's' gig

My new job may be in "Waste Management." I shit you not.

The Comfort of Strangers

Rupert Everett has this new book coming out, "Red Carpets and other Banana Skins." And like most Brits, he is really introspective and on spot.
Here is an excerpt:

"Now no one wants me. Being gay and being a woman has one big thing in common, which is that we both become invisible after the age of 42. Who wants a gay 50- year-old? No one, let me tell you. I could set myself on fire in a gay bar, and people would just light their cigarettes from me. I don't want to be carried out of a club wearing a tie-dye T-shirt and a cap on the wrong way around when I am 70, but I would like to settle down a bit. Maybe with a partner. In some ways I do feel more settled, but now I want to take part in things."

Man, this is so true. I have basically come to the conclusion that I will sleep alone for the rest of my life. I saw a clip from the Janice Dickenson show and she was in Palm Springs for the 'white' or 'black' party and their were these 90 year olds in speedo's and/or thongs. It frigging made me ashamed. It's like the Iranian in the office who everyone else in the office feels the whole country of Iran is her nieces and nephews and she feels the guilt when something Iranian is mentioned.
I have the worst personal ad. I am like no Rap, no R&B, no Clubbing, no Meth, no Poppers, no 3 ways, no Name Dropping...et al
I am never going to be the older guy with the A&F t-shirt and the baseball cap on angled. I'm sure this guy gets laid, as well. It's kind of like my roommate in college who would be like, "Yeah, I got laid last night" and I would think to myself, "Yeah, you hit on over 75 girls, it was bound to happen."
I'm an asshole. I know. I'm opinionated and kind of stand off-ish. But, I still soberly cry at "The Gilmore Girls" every day, and for that, I am kinda faggy.

Nino Garcia

First of all, (back pats are accepted) I discovered Project Runway. I think the first episode of the first season it was myself and Seal watching. That said; I wanna tell you guys a story from the mickeyitaliano vault.
I was 6 or so, when neighbors started moving into my block. My uncle built all the houses, so we got first dibs and we were solo on Barlow for a while. My older brother soon found friends but I had no one my age except for two girls (separate families) who were a year older. The three years separating me and my brother at that time were like decades, so to hang with him was not going to happen.
So, I hung with Elaine and Carol Ann (and soon to come Denise). We played jump rope, hopscotch and Barbie's. I did have a GI Joe but, frig, he never came with a change of clothes! I soon became enamored with Barbie's house and Camper and her wardrobe. She had so many looks, while GI Joe still had his stinky Camo's on.
We had a room downstairs which we called the 'little room.' It contained all our toys, some Samsonite luggage and my mothers' Singer sewing machine, which by the looks of it, was the original prototype. Instead of a rubber type belt, the belt was leather. It had this foot petal that was similar to a metal shoe and the needles were a crochet club's nitemare...thick and revolving at MPH.
I started to really want a Barbie. I wanted to change her clothes. I asked for one and after the beating from the 'donor', I came to find out that boys do not play with those kinds of dolls.
More crafty than hurt, I told Carol Ann, Elaine and now Denise that my Grandma, (who, God Bless her Soul was a phenomenal sewist) was going to make their Barbie's a whole new wardrobe. They each gave me a Barbie for measurements. The 'collection' would be forthcoming.
I had seen my mother with patterns on the dining room table (hence: the matching Easter Outfits of 1966) and while playing with my bald playschool people in the little room, her sewing voraciously.
I could do this.
From scraps of fabric and odds and ends around the house, I set forth to create a 'collection.'
I'm laughing my ass off, because I just remembered how I fucked up that strong ass needle when I decided to sew a skirt made from the netting of the "wedding gift stinky almonds."
It was downhill from there. The girls were getting impatient. They were besmirching my grandmother's talents. I told them she had taken to hospital, and returned their Barbie's, who were now, non virginal and bi.
Fast forward. I was a senior in High School and in Art Class we had a selection of finals. One, was to make a fashion collection. I went with my strengths and even though I was not thought to be 'swishy', at all, I did this.
The girls in my class, some of whom were on their way to F.I.T. were so excited by my work, telling me I should definitely go into fashion design. Theresa Minnucci actually took one of my sketches for a gown(?) and entered it into her book for her interviewA Parsons or F.I.T..

I hope Laura wins.