The Blogger Commentator You Would Like to Be

It's hard being a commentator on a blog. I mean you have to work up all this agita and vitrol and then you sit there at your desk or more likely on the floor with the dog your supposed to be walking licking your face, and as you tuck in your over extended bra strap to your 3 dollar 90%off sale from JC Pennies tee by Arizona, you need to sound off about Michael Phelps. "He's not that cute", you write, intermittingly taking collect calls from the Iowa jail where some guy who finger fucked you in 8th grade is staying and your about to get married soon. And while your at it, why don't you sign on to TMZ or Perez, because maybe if you write something witty (maybe being the operative word) someone will cede and answer your comment and make an even wittier one, wherein you (searching past 'Garfield' strips and your vast knowledge of all things 'Friends') tries to 'get back attcha', so you both could be rotfflol .