Ben is Love

Thanks to bart , I need to talk about Ben.
In 1991 my whole world was crashing around me. The prior 3 years I was this club kid without the make-up. I was working 4 hours during the day and making major dollars and going out every single night getting free admission into Limelight, MK,The Roxy, The Underground et al. With drink tickets to boot.
But everything was falling apart. Or was it me?
In 1992, after a few weekend visits to So. Beach, Fla. with Joyce; I kept on reading that this was going to be the new 'Toronto' (meaning film industry.) I was taking all these scattered classes and lectures to hone my script @ that moment, and I thought that maybe, if I was in this budding enviorment, I might be able to meet with someone.
Brian (ex-lover/best friend) was now in Los Angeles. He was a semi succesful model in NYC and he was having trouble assimilating to the model/actor role he had to be in L.A. (Stiff as an emery board is what I remember him telling me his agent said on that commercial interview),
South Beach was the European catalog capital. (The sunlight) Remember when all those German tourists were getting shot? Yeah, that time.
Anyway, I had no choice but to make a move. I could not handle the 2 bedroom @ Washington Square by myself for (gulp...only) $1100. I did not want to deal with the parade of perspective roomates. 92 of them or so. It was a down market then (stocks, rent) so I just decided to fold like a crepe.
I moved down to Fla. two weeks later. I secured a spot in a weekly hotel room for Brian and I; who moved down a week later.
Yeah. I convinced him.
He braught down his little pup. Ben. He was about 9 months old now.
I never had a pet. I have always been afraid of dogs. (I use to deliver the "Daily News"). Ben was this 'bluff' Cocker Spanial. Dirty blonde-ish (bluff).
It was at this moment in my life that I truelly experienced unconditional love. (BTW: the song, "Unconditional Love" by Cyndi Lauper is so underated).
I could NOT wait to get out of work and run up to the motel/hotel and take Benny for his walk.
I taught him how to swim in the ocean. It freaking brings tears to my eye's thinking of it now.
He ate this whole slew of Kenny Cole shoes that I had been gifted. He just, I guess loved me so much when I (we) were out of the room, he needed our scent.
I wrote this great poem about benny called "Ben is Love." If anyone would like to read it I will send it to you.
Hindsight: To have this beagle-ish 'Snoopy' dog just love me and follow me around and obey me and trust me (when we went swimming the first time in the ocean, ben was shaking so much, I thought he was going to have a heart attack). Afterwards, when we went to Laguna (in Los Ang), he would Charge into the ocean.
Brian, Myself and Benny slept in the same bed every night. Do you know how beautiful it is to be woken up by these little velvety kisses by this sandpaper like tongue. And he knew all my hot spots. (I'm laughing writing this). He use to lick my ear til I was like, "Benny?" And he would have this huge smile on his face.
God is love.
Love is a dog.
God Dog.

The "P" word

I woke up one morning (this may be a former post; I don't know) and I had to pee, viciously. The night before Brian and myself went to see "Cry Baby"(new release-date it) down the street at the Waverly, and as usual, Mr. Thirsty(moi) had to get a 'big' soda. (Although back then they were not as huge). {A quarter more and you can have...}
It was a late showing, and we went back to Thompson Street and laid(layed) down for the night.
Anyway, I woke the next morning to get ready for work, dying to pee (natch) and when I stood in front of the Kohler ceramic, I either was 'pee shy' or 'had to many things on my mind.' Whatever.
I got into the shower (a rare; high pressured one I might add) and I figured, with no sweat from my brow, I'd pee there. Time is money.
When the warm water trickled over my supple body; oops,( I reverted. to my Penthouse 'Letters' days. )
When the warm water came down upon me, I knew i was gonna pee.
I was kind of aching at this point.
The next scene would have an ambulance pulling up, but instead I dug out my list of doctors and found a urologist who could take me.
I had not peed in 15 hours or so.
Next stop was 'Cabrini Hospital' where I stayed for 9 days.
My bladder basically was sick.
It was a form of 'Mono.'
Apparently, I was in such good shape that this 'flu-ish' thing took it's part on my bladder. One of the weakest organs.
I'll save the AIDS test debacle for another post (neg).
I was catheterized in O.R.
Does this hurt(?) I asked the nurse and in total NY fashion she replied that she does not know because she does not have a penis.
Day five, with my lips dry and looking for something frosty, I asked Brian to bring me in a beer.
It was that or a fountain 'Diet Pepsi' and although I don't care for beer (and Bri knew it), I guzzled one, while the guy next to me was dying from some liver thing. He was yellow and old and Spanish and his family loved me. Similar to the Corona Brian brought in.
When I drank the 'Corona' , it only took a minute for me and Brian to see it (or it's forefathers in the Urinary Tract) to pass through the catheter. It was kind of funny.
I thank Union 101 (?) for paying for this whole debacle, and I guess I've been stupid lately regarding my health.
I go shopping for necessities, ya know. Grade-A Burgers and Chicken Breasts; but I have not incorporated any vegetables into my diet. (I freaking love vegies). I've been lazy, ya know.
As a 'bachelor', and an avid TV-aholic (better than the hootch), everything seems to be on a sandwich these days. Not good.
I have kidney stones. They are minute, which means in other terms, I do not have insurance (from the hospital), so I will not get them broken up by a laser. I have 4. I passed (sorry) two. It hurts like fuck.
I've always been compassionate towards women giving birth.
I hear ya ladies on the 'tennis ball going through a garden hose.'
Turkey is a binder.
Mom is making a pork roast.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Mickey