Enable

When you read this word, what do you think of? It's a very tricky word.
I use to thing of this word, translating into "helper, abider."
Until I went to ReHab.
Then this word took on a different twist.
If any of you watch 'Intervention' you might come to know a different definition of this word.
It's more along the lines of 'aiding and abetting (sic)."
It's a very popular word in the Hab.
(i just made that word up-{Hab}-hah)

Basically every family that attends the 'family meeting' 9 weeks into your recovery is introduced to this term. Because of the fact that they came (9 hour drive to Lake Saranac) means one thing.
The 'enabler' noun can be tossed about ad nauseam.
You were stupid enough to give your son a key to your has and now he robbed everything. Enabling.
You pay your sons rent because he is in this black stage and depressed. Enabling.

USA...USA!!!(channel)

Today was the Season 5 marathon for L&O:CI. (Law and Order:Criminal Intent) on the USA channel. If you do not watch this show, skip down to the next post.
I was in Rehab when this was happening. I did not understand why Vin D'Onofrrio and Kate Erbe were on one week and then (gasp) Mr. Big and my girl (Annabella Sciorra) were on the next.
A Wiki Post states that Vincent D'Onofrio (amazing actor: "The Whole Wide World" yeah I know "Full metal Jacket.) was suffering from a kind of nervous breakdown/exhaustion thing. Dick Wolfe (creator of L&O) decided to split the ..."Criminal Intent" shows between 2 teams. Hence Sciorra and Noth.

When I came out of Rehab and I was in the halfway house from hell, never able to change the channel on the 3 seperate televisions(playing Rap video's) in the house, I gave up on my favorite shows.
They were to be repeats that I have never seen before in my life, and in the words of REM; "I feel fine."
Dick Wolf was really testing me. I have to make a decision between "Oz" Erbe or "Soprano's" Sciorra. On "L&O" Hmmmm.
Erbe wins in a decision. While watchimg this season with Noth and Annabella it seems she is phoning it in, although I must think she was playing her character this way, I think she is just too beautiful to be credible in this situation. She is supposed to be the smarter one. But, now I wonder why she either left or got fired from this gig.
I completely dig Annabella Sciorra.
I completely dig Katheryne Erbe. More.
It's like rooting for 2 underdogs.
The worse thing he can do is add Lil Taylor. I'd be fucked.

Iconoclast or Trend Setter? You Decide.

So, the married guy just left for what I believe is the last time.
I'm not about to hear from my small but vocal female readers about this indescretion.

His screen name is something stupid. It's like a 'mafia' nickname, but lame.
"Joey the shnozz" is a lot better.

He comes from Italy...He was born there. His kids (sorry ladies) are 1st generation Americans. He was moved here at two years old.

I thought circumsision was kind of wide spread with Catholics? I guess not.

He won't leave me alone. I get like 20 Emails every M-W-Fri, the days I guess he is at the office.

He brought over a bottle of 'Jim Beam' last night.
As a writer, this looked like a scene out of a "made for Lifetime' movie.

The kissing made me part passionate and part revulsed. The oaky, cedar taste of the booze had me enticed for a bit, and then the best part of my brain kicked in. This is ALL WRONG. All of it. Kick him out, now, Mick, You are so much better than this. You desrve so much better.

I let him get his jollies off, as I basically played Suduko in my head.
The parting was uncomfortable, and that is a compliment.

I got an Email about an hour ago.
Can't this dude get the hint? I treated him so bad and he wants more.

Makes me think what an abysmal married life he has.

Here I am, in my stupid little world. No consequences, no debts, no worries. And then I am presented with this dude; kids, wife, double life, most likely a mortgage, uncut (hah) and commuting from Jersey.

I have to get my shit together. I am a smart guy and I should not be struggling like this anymore.

I'm going running.
I've got to clear my head.

I am your brother

I never pay much interest to Gay issues. Fuck em is my policy.
My mother has changed her political stance a lot since my coming out debacle. Little by little, certain things inched inside her pysche. My older brother is, ready for this, a Jehovah Witness. And he sends me the recent rulings on 'gays' according to "The Watchtower." <---non NY ers will not get this.
It's kind of funny that the South (of US) is totally against anything 'gay.' When I moved to Los Angeles, it seemed that every blatant queen was from the South. I'm talking, Clay Aiken GAY. Just, like Mary's.
So, I thought, maybe these 'oily rich' families just gave 'gay junior' the money to get the frig out of Dodge.
We were the first family to get divorced on the 'block.' Sal Scotto asking where is my 'dad's' butcher truck (where all our names were emblazened in front) hurt.
We got over it. (I actually prayed for it)
We call him, 'asshole' these days when speaking.
That's all he is.
In rehab, the gorgeous Stephanie taught (is that a word) me to stop referring to 'him' as my sperm donor and say, "my biological dad."
Kind of Chemistry Class, no?
I lost my train of thought.
Don't castigate.
Don't throw stones.
I am your brother.

Road Trip

After winning and finally collecting on the game show money, I needed to get back home (to NYC). The towers were down, my mom was a Complete mess and I was living off of Palm Springs w/ my grouchy brother.
Lisa called. Lisa is the one who also called me at 7 am (Los Angeles time) on Sept. 11th to tell me about the crash.
She was over Los Angeles now and what was my deal.
We drove cross country. It was a lot of fun and tough on my ass. I drove the whole way sans liscense. Like, not misplaced, but, taken away from me.
We had her 3 cats and Ruby (all rescued) in the back.
Here's a great description of her. A visual.
Remember "Like a Prayer"? Madonna with the black hair? That's Lisa.
Yet she has fierce tats on her arms (which she can not wait to get lasered off) and she is skinnier.
She talks with the greatest NY accent, she is the Worst waitress of all time and every Hetero guy within 2 miles (including musicians) was in love with her. "Ah, screw him, he lives in Malibu and he acts like a beatnik."
She calls me Mikey and I like that.
I made about 40 cassettes for the road trip and the car only had a CD player. We listened to a lot of Moby and that great CD of Grunge people doing "The Carpenters" songs.
She always had her shit together at Largo, so it suprised me to learn on our journey that she was a recovering heroin addict and alcoholic. (Like 6 years sober)
Maybe I'm (cough...cough <---there is a bug going around) an okay example of someone who is remaining sober?
She's back to using. She needs my help.
This is me. I don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, yet I drop everything for my friends.
"Don't flatter yourself Mickey." I'm not. I kind of like Super-helpful Guy. My costume involves a monocle.