Thursday, September 30, 2010

I swear this is going somewhere...


I once saw a stand up (Jeanine Garofalo) talk about the bus in the movie, "Speed" and how it basically had every stock character from Central Casting. (This must have been around the time of Hollywood's big diversity kick). She is like,"You have your angry black man, your snappy old lady, your immigrant Mexican maid, your Eskimo with his harpoon..."
The Staten Island Ferry holds about 4,000 people at it's busiest times. It runs every 30 minutes from Staten Island to the bottom (Wall Street area) of Manhattan. Also, it passes the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, The Verrezano Bridge...good views of the Brooklyn Bridge...and oh, it's free.
Because it leaves every 30 minutes, shuffling on and off should be the major logistics (besides crashing 2X in 3 years) of the Ferry people.
As the world,(yep, it is not only America) keeps getting fatter, it is also getting slower. I, on the one hand need to visit Jenny Craig, but I am still kind of light on my feet. Maybe it is the 30 years of working on my feet or maybe because I remember the days of people just moving in every direction at the speed of sound when I was a messenger as a kid in Manhattan. Remember those old movies where you see all these businessmen in hats getting off the train and just plowing ahead?
So, now I have this scenario of the 'Speed bus cast" with something akin to the term 'cockblocker'. You see, whenever I am trying to move, especially when it comes to entering the Ferry, (the doors just shut. You could be an inch away) I am CONSTANTLY getting 'cockblocked' by the Central Casting of extra's. Yesterday it all came together, in one perfect scene,that had me laughing. No exaggeration here. The casting sheet for the extra's would look like this:
  • Old man with hump carrying groceries (must have height differential in both legs)
  • Clueless German tourists walking 4 abreast
  • Woman with briefcase on fold up luggage wheelie thingy
  • Fat person (5 foot)
  • Fat person (6 foot)
  • Mother with 2 school kids who are doing everything but walking
  • Hasidic family with 6 kids all under 10 years. 1 double stroller, 1 regular
  • The shuffling elderly Chinese couple
  • Man with cane
  • Man with luggage
  • Woman with walker
  • The walking newspaper reader
  • The tourist who got separated from the group, turning back constantly
  • Pod of cell phone people (all loud talkers)
  • Homeless guy with cart
  • Apathetic group of teens
  • Eskimo with Harpoon
Can we please enact my idea (spoken about previously) wherein we have chalked out lanes. "Road Runner...Strollers and Families...Tourists...Sloths... " I would be very happy.

Monday, September 20, 2010

An M5 Ran Over Me

Can we officially get rid of the phrase where one throws one "under the bus"? Please? The other night on Project Runway they said this so often,I thought that fashion director of Marie Clare Magazine,Nina Garcia was going to explode like a pinata.
How can this phrase (used by my estranged brother to describe himself) be so popular? It's kind of stupid....Do they throw ones self under the lorry? Bus in Danish...El Autobus? staetoi icelandic? Let's give this one a rest...it is stupid, and itjust popped up in the lst 6 years, right? ugh

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Johnny Cash

I have 2 and a half weeks of songs in my "I" library. So many do not get played. Like the 8th song on an album (which is usually great), I made a play-list of every song with 0-1 listens.
The first song up was Johnny Cash singing "Silent Night" (yeah, the Christmas tune) and I just bawled.

I've been so kind of fragile lately. I STILL have all these abandonment/Father issues. Prick. And here is this man in Black singing this gorgeous song and still in keeping with his machismo...
I hate thinking man

Facebook part II

Christine McC------d...I will never forget her name...like C--- Sac---.
These beautiful women and I experienced a time together. We all lived in St. Thomas in the late 80's. C--- just crept up on us, and was the coolest woman, and I just kind of am misty eyed thinking of our friendship then. I want that now. I have Joyce/Sloan, Donna, Carol, Char... and everyone is 400 miles or more from me. Restraining orders? Ha! No. I miss my friends. I need to be close. Glad to have re-connected to Chriss. Thanks FB...find me DannyEdwards...

Bad Judgement

Last night I watched this film called "London to Brighton".
First off, I have been to England (albeit South Hampton), but I found it grey, and exspensive, and gray and dreary.
But,every film I see representing Brighton, makes me want to go there. It is like Seaside Heights with a passport.
Back to the subject.
This movie was FUCKING riveting. I could NOT look away for one second. (If you rent it, put the subtitles on, ya nob ya).
So, movie finished...Deep breathe...kinda heavy. Whew...man!
I go to my site wherein they have movie reviews from every circulating media.
1 star out of 5. 1.5 out out of five. thumb down. 17 tomatoes....
I need to re-read my screenplay.

Weird Day

On the train this morning I saw this guy get on, decent suit, gay face. He was carrying a razor scooter and he as panting(like he just made the train).
On the subway, I saw two kind of distinguished looking guys talking. Yet they were not talking. They each had an Ipod earphone on and they were lip sychning raps. (Ha)
I have a big mouth...Some asshole ran the yellow/solid red light while I was crossing the street. His drivers window was right by my face as he ran the red light, and I said , "You are a fucking douche bag" and he got like 20 feet down the block and made a quick u-turn.
I do not run.
I ran.

Affirmitive Action in our Presidency...which way

The other day Hillary Clinton compared Mexico to Columbia 20 years ago, based on the increased (!!) surge of drug lords vs.the Mexican Govt. (A whole city of Mexico's government was 86'd because they were all working with drug lords). Obama dismissed this statement by Hillary the next day. (She is FUMING!) Today 48 drug lord workers were assisted in escaping a prison on the border of Houston, Tex by the prison guards working for the cartel.
I believe, our first Mrs. President to be was correct again.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Because...Because


Man....

Beautiful People

This is a positive guys. In a world of Negatives...This rates. It's a sho about this inda infamous New Yorker who dresses the "Barney's" windows.
This is one of the greatest TV shows ever. I have a link, but you can watch all12 episodes at LOGOtv. Laugh...you make me smile.

Emmy's

I only got to watch an hour or so because the other person I live with decided to have a shit fit, because this is one of the only thing I have watched on TV an this person has turned evil. Do you know what agita is? It is Italian for an upset stomach. Say your 35 plus and you ate a bowl of cavattelli with a pomodoro sauce and then you drank a big glass off milk. That is agita (1 fold). I am s hated in my family it is hysterical. I tried to watch one show and she chased me out with her squaking and hatred of herself, so,obviously, I am the scapegoat, and I stay up all night, intermittently crying.
Bye

Monday, August 23, 2010

These Days

This song is my life. I loved this guy since I was like 12, because of my older brother. I never asked Peter if the words were true to him.
I'm lonely tonight and I am thinking of Jax.

Don't confront me with my failures...I have not forgotten them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPk11AugG4c&NR=1

Sniffle,sniffle...bye

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Mission Statement

I have to be one of the most fucked up guys alive. I,like hate work...avoid it at all costs,I wanna hit the lottery,but i still am not lazy. My feet are fucking killing me...i swear. I have callouses the size of Minneapolis. I'm kind of tired,or as my French Canadian lover used to put it...tie-red (yeah,it was cute but got tie-red real quick). I am like,black-listed. i swear to you,like 11 years ago,people would be like,"So can you grab a white shirt and start tonight?" And I was like, Ricochet Rabbit. My prospects in all fronts are dried up. I'm old,ugly,fat and retarded.

True Blood

Seriously rocked this week. Episode 309

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Vladimir Putin is my father


Oh,man...don't you love this guy. The former president of Russia who now goes by something like supreme leader. As a short man myself,I never knew how much power i can wield. Given his predecessors, including the J.O. father, they all belong in the same fiery hell.

Did you know that during the fiery furnace that has been Russia these days, Putin flew over and extinguished 2 fires?

Have you ever seen this fidget with his shirt off? he thinks he is Danial Craig as Bond. Oh, man, how many delusional fucks get to the top of the heap, while we urchins toil away.



Monday, August 09, 2010

It comes in Waves

I totally understand this phrase, especially after living beside water for my whole life and working on a ship. But, say you are sitting at the shoreline, and just letting the incoming surf tickle your toes. You can bet your next clamato juice on the fact that another wave is coming in. It's life, you know and I really like things that are constant. What I hate or can't stand is dis-order. And my life is so freaking full of every contrasting emotion (or emoticon for you neer do wells). I live with Love/Hate, Pride/Self Doubt, Lust/Derission, Wonderment/Disallusionment every half hour.
I am not as fucked up as you may think. I think. I read real books. I admire wordsmiths and I also realize that I will never, ever find love. It comes in tsunami's. Litlle trickle happen and then the big one hits.

WHY TURN TO DRINK?

CHEF WANTED: Largest Foodservice company in New York seeks Chef to prepare meals on pretigious College Campus in the Riverdale section of the Bronx. Includes student cafe, retail outlet, and special events catering. Chef must be passionate about preparring healthy, fresh menu items in a fast paced, professional environment. Serious applicants only! Full Time 40hours per week. Background checks and drug testing for all applicants mandatory. Must have culinary degree and at least 5 years industry experience. BENEFITS: Health, Dental, Vision, 401K, Sick, Vacation, Personal.
Location: RIVERDALE, BRONX
Compensation: Hourly Rate = $9.95 - $11.70 per hour

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

The TakeAway

I absolutely hate this NPR show. I hate the stupid freaking name, I can not stand Hockenbury and the 19 chicks (all black) that have been 86'd. Sometimes I hate NPR.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Turn South for this Post

Or is it East? How do you feel about a Mosque being built near the former site of the Twin Towers? Go on, I'm listening.

old spice guy

I do not get it? LL Cool Jay is crying somewhere.

You don't wanna know me

I have to be the most unlucky mother fucker in the world or this was just destined to be. I am so sad. So fucking sad,you can not relate.
The job, the given...Me and this un-qualified guy. She was kissing him.