There is no U in victim

C'mon. Haven't I been through this shit enough? How many fucking times must I ride the high rode for one second only to be sent careening down the mountain.
If you don't know...I went on an interview for perhaps the greatest restaurant (money making-semi casual) in NYC. I saw the ad the night before another which was to take place an hour later.
I was the first applicant there. They numbered me, #1.
I interviewed and it went great.
They said callbacks were on Monday, in which I held my phone next to me the whole day.
On Wednesday, i recieved a 212 call and could not answer it for the fact that I happened to be at a subway where it rang. I transferred it immediately to voice mail so the caller did not have to endure 6 rings. Does anyone remember the early samsung phones wherein you could set your voice mail to two or one rings? That was great, and they did away with that.
I called 5 times after and left messages to no avail.
Now I am kind of pissed.

"Damages" It's a Good Thing...Maybe

I've been trying to find some television series that I can get invested in. One that has run for a couple of seasons, so I can always turn to it (the show) when I am bored.

I was ambivalent about the show "Damages" starring Glenn Close, only because I am sort of iffy on her. I think it's because she reminds me of some snooty Connecticut Waspy type.

I recently heard that she was in that Cult-y teen group in the 70's called, Up with People, so I kinda loosened up on her and started watching.

Man,I was hooked. Great co-stars, great plots. I found myself watching 3 episodes and still not being able to fall asleep,and watching a fourth.

Couple this with me trying to, for the 112th time, find a suitable job. Oye!

I had this dream that I was working @ this huge Macy's size store, solely deigned for Martha Stewart. Martha was in the store preparing us (the staff) for the Grand Opening. I think I was like a Manager or something.

Oh,I forgot to mention. If you have never seen "Damages", Glenn's character is named Patty and she is a Lawyer. Wait. Lawyer is probably the 15th thing on a list that explains this absolute Barracuda. Conniver, Back Stabber, Killer?, Manipulator,et al.

Back to the Grand Opening. We were walking around the store with the staff, and Martha turns to me and asks me, by name, to retrieve something, and at this point she is pointing her arm out in the direction of this massive store. I wanted to asked her to narrow it down a little, but she continued to tour the group and I was afraid to cut in. So, I walked in the direction of ,her arm. Just like looking for something to jump out at me.

I wandered around and was walking back empty handed, when she stopped the group speak. She walked up to me, and she was furious. Her face was steaming with rage. She started to stomp up the store, (at least I had the direction right) as she was berating me. The group of trainee's and myself followed. She was repeating this word over and over which sounded foreign to me. She stopped in front of this gigantic wicker basket filled with gallons of her paint cans. She was like, "I said blah, blah, blah (meaning the paint color name)" and she picked up the wicker basket (which held about 40 different gallons) and spilled them all out on the floor. They all rolled around, and I woke up, kind of laughing.

Tsunami is tsnow-me

If anyone goes back to the archives, one of my first major posts was writing about the Tsunami of, was it 2002? And here I feel I am ending on the same note. Another Tsunami. Man, I listen to BBC all night, I feel so sorry for these wonderful, resilient people. I have never been so riveted to an event so much...This is not "loo-key loo's on the highway",this is real. The fractured pain and sorrow that is hidden behind a face like marble in most elders. They have seen it all.
I have admired these beautiful people from Japan,when me and Laura Connair went to see the movie, "Come See The Paradise". It was about the Japanese American Internment Camps.
I think I'm done with blogging. I have so much more to expound on. I care not of the readership numbers, I just hope friends and strangers may enjoy my tome. Not asking you to reply
vedderjett1@yahoo.com
Figures. I finally got a job!

I AM FINALLY OFF THE UNEMPLOYED LIST!!!!!

Thank You !!! I am never Fucking this up!! I will be here till I am 50! (Fifty Years Old, Dammit!) And then I will open my own place. I have tons of back catalogued presents to get people!! Be patient.

No Need to hide your disappointment

Those of you who have travelled down this long and arduous highway with me in the hopes that I might secure myself a job for more than maybe, let's say a month, I've got some bad news.

Interview on Monday went well. I'm scrapping the bottom here, I'm applying for line cook positions, because I really need money, badly, and if you look on Craig's List, there are tons of these positions available. About two thirds of that ton are corporate umbrella type jobs. Meaning, there are hardly any 'mom and pop' restaurants in NYC anymore. Everything is affiliated with either an ego maniacal chefs 'name' or some 'theme' type restaurant whose corporate owners greedy, roux stained hands are umbrella's for any restaurant over 80 seats. 'Ruby Foo's' begot 'Dos Caminos' begot 'Atlantic Grill' begot 'Blue Fin' etcetera. And that is just one corporation (Be R Guest <--- figures it's a frigging Disney tune!). This joint I interviewed at was newly opened (bad sign). The first chef quit (can a flag be any redder?) The new chef seemed okay, and I specifically told him 'what I was looking for'. He yessed me to death. He actually wanted me to train that night (sung to the tune of 'Desperado'). I declined. I went back Tuesday and trained. You know what's funny about these places? The kitchen area has to be the most homophobic work place of professionals. Fag jokes and 'boyfriend' jabs are tossed around like a vinaigrette on frisse. Either all these guys are just closet cases or they are all idiots with bad jokes.
I totally got thrown into the mix right away and I superseded any expectations, and 5 hours later, with no training pay (these bastards have some racket), the chef hired me. He told me to come back today(Thurs) @ 2:30. I immediately sensed something was amiss. He was like a giant dick to me. He was telling me about these strippers who were there the previous night for someones Christmas party dressed in these skimpy outfits, and I was like, "Yeah?" or "Really". Like I was not all, testosterone about it. Who gives a crap. Then he would tell me things to do, and I'd be doing them and he was just so contradictory. I swear to you, my dear friends, I almost left three times, but I took a few deep breaths and I told/psyched myself into staying because I have to. The service started and this guy just ripped apart EVERY FUCKING THING I DID. I could make an amazing Risotto blindfolded, and he is seasoning it with more and more salt. Then he says something else to me, and he's like, 'What's wrong with you?' and next sentence, "Pay attention." FUCK YOU, you dick. Fuck you and that 27 year old chef mentality you have.
I was like, pulling off my fucking rubber gloves, "I don't need this shit" (very low voiced) but it seems that the whole kitchen became quiet. I frigging felt so justified walking out of there with my head held high. No dickbrain has ever nor will ever talk to me this way.
P.S. This is how hunger starved for compliments these guys (chefs) are. He was standing next to me, making a Demi-Glace, and he tasted it, and I hear him say to himself, "Sometimes I amaze myself."
I'm pissed because I left my French knife there. Dammit.

Ancient Chinese Secret

I was walking along Rivington Place this afternoon and I spotted Monica Lewinsky shopping with an older woman. I of course was dropping off yet another resume.
The ferry going home was so overheated and so stuffy I sort of started nodding off. And I was thinking about the 'blue dress.'
Didn't she say that she tried to dry clean it but the sperm did not come (for lack of a better word) out?
Suddenly, I was awake, and I'm like, what?
Not to gross any of my female readers out, but, I am a guy. And, well I'm 41, and I've not been in a relationship for most of my life. So, I ask you to do the math.
Wasn't it a Gap dress? Probably a cotton blend or such? 60% cotton 40% rayon maybe? I've got better thread count sheets and they are sans stains. Same with some of my underwear.
So, now I'm confused. If anyone could answer this query, much thanks.

Job #313 Update

Thank You, God
(Even if I do not get it)

I met for my interview on Saturday with Administration. Grueling, but good, because I felt so confident that this position was tailor made for me. I did not stammer or sweat. They left to have a confrence. They than asked me to meet with someone higher up today, Sunday.
I feel it went even better today. Unless I am a delusional. I'll know tomorrow a.m.
Perks: 9-5:30, M-F. Benefits after 60 days. Job Security and tons of advancement. Sweet.

Oh Yeah, I guess I should thank the kidney stones, because without them, I would still be putting in 6 days at 12-14 hours a day for the same money in a location by the S.I. Landfill.

(special thanks to Laura & Tesa)

And I think it's Gonna Rain Today

Today (friday) we are supposed to get a nice big storm. I can't wait because it would be the brightest thing in my life this week.
Of course, I have been interviewing again, since my aborted attempt at working 3 weeks ago hindered by nature and a bad diet in the form of kidney stones. I was told not to get too stressed. Ha-fucking-Ha.
Anyway, I've been sending out reams of resumes and getting call backs to interview and going on the interviews only to find out that the job they described is 'not exactly' the job the explained in the ad, per se. And like, I'm in no position to refuse anything, let alone a job that would have me waking at 3:30 am to get to the UWS by 5:30 am or the job (because they know they have you by the balls) that pays less than a babysitter or for that matter lestt than double of what my friend pays her housekeeper per hour. Every great job posting I see, I hit send with my resume and cover letter and say to myself "Be the Ball." (This was an expression I learned which helped me to hit better in baseball).
So, as I wait for my phone to ring with a 212 area code calling back with hopes that it is from the bachelor who is looking for someone to cook at his place for him nightly or from the the restaurant that needs an expeditor (salary, benefits, not cooking), I feel like once again I have to give in to the shitty job(s) that hire me on the spot. (The Kosher Restaurant, The Pakastani Deli who wants me to cook E-talian stuff).
Earlier today a job got posted for an Admin. Asst. for a High Profile Catering Org. to be a direct liason between the Chef and the Office with specified duties listed.
I could not type fast enough. I could not make the cover letter most specific to the fact that this job was for me. I wanted to implore them with out sounding too desperate to the fact that, I Want This Job.
Send.
Be the Ball. Be the Ball.
I get zero phone reception in my apartment. Sometimes, I'll leave the house and like 3 minutes later I will find out that I have 3 missed phone calls.
I shut my phone off. I went outside every hour after I hit send to see if I had any calls. On the 3rd attempt, I got the call (besides a few other jobs that I just put to save). The guy seems pretty cool. He is going to meet with me tomorrow (Sat.) and when I hung up and got up to my apartment, I freaking broke down.

Da nah nah nah nah nah

There was a funny episode of 'Wings' where one of the main characters was at a fancy party with a piano, and all he played was the theme to "Entertainment Tonight."

Being kind of laid up (I have 2 more stones to pass, {5 in all}) I've read a lot of newspapers and a lot of blogs.
Yes, I saw the Brittney sans panty pictures and I could give a shit(or stone). What really has me questioning my value in this world is the fact that I am absolutely drawn to those pictures of Angelina and Brad in Vietnam on the scooter. God Almighty, she is the freaking hottest woman in the world. She just really makes me transfixed to everything about her. Her pose on the scooter, her make up, her posture, her icy glare oblivious to the (i'm assuming) mounds of photogs. She's just this cool chick, who has a freaking great heart and she hit the genetic lottery.

When I worked @ Largo (in L.A.), Kathy Najimi's (the heavy woman from 'Sister Act' fame) husband had this band called, "The Dan Band." His catchphrase was, "Just a guy; singing woman's songs." He would do medleys of "I've never been to me" and "Waterloo" and shit like that. We made bucks those nights. She basically knows EVERYONE in Hollywood, so one night, Brad and Jen came. Honestly, the H-wood crowd there (max 125 people) did not stir with them in the midst.
If I was to ask him a stupid question, it would be, "How was it working with Tina Louise?" (Johnny Suede). But that's not me. I've never been really attracted to him (he did look great in 'Thelma and Louise').
He must look crappy (ish) in High Def, because he has awful skin (yeah, there is a God). Anyway, he's not my type.
I like him so much more now. When I see him carrying Maddox or Zahara.
Besides, we are the same age, so i have that affinity with him.
I hate being so pulled into some photog's infringement on privacy. But I like these pics.
I also LOVE the new Amex commercial with Ellen and the animals.

I am starting to believe that these Kidney Stones were begot from me. I was stressing Big Time. I have so many pimples on my face that I pick and pick, because all I do is play with my face and stress out. It cost me 9 bucks at the hospital to fax to my new job, that I was in the hospital. (Chuckle) I don't do that for anyone. And these pricks said; they can not use me. Even though I said it would be 6 days max.
Do you wanna know how fast a hospital sends their bill?
I stayed at my Mom's the first night, and the next day when I got home, the bill was there.
My evil credit rating of 666 is now going to be skewed.
There is a great line in "Longtime Companion' when (Jake), the hottie from "16 Candles" says a disease is just a dis-ease of the body. I love that part. He is so sincere.
Highlight of this is that i think I found a doctor to fill my presciptions for anti-d's.

Other News
Iraq is a miasma
Russia is still kind of evil

Everytime I have to pee, it's like a celebration. I have to inspect the bowl, to see if i (sorry0 passed anything, and guess what...I have to pee now.
Later

Respite

I have 3 days off until I start the new jobbie. I was going to go shopping at Macy's but the threats of this storm kinda hindered this. I'm transfixed in a way. I have my iTunes on, and I'm playing all these 70's songs. "Sky High" "Run Joey Run" and I'm smiling like a freaking Jack-o-lantern.
Those were frigging good times.
Forget that the "Summer of Sam" was approaching and a heat wave.
I remember playing "I declare war" with the kids on the street. I remember my older brother trying to get me into the game of "street hockey" as i was reading on the sidelines.
Whenever i would play my younger brother in whiffle ball, as he was the Mets I was the California Rockers, with Lita Ford batting first.
As Pearl jam sings:
"It's Evolution baby."

Rhymes with "Hesbian"

This morning when I was getting ready for the onslaught of rejection (read:interviews) I switched the channels. On Oxygen; (never knew I got it) "Ellen" was on. It was "the puppy episode" which was the coming out one.
Cue the song "Memories".
And I was instantaniously transported to where I was at that moment. Kind of like "where were you when Kennedy got shot?", but gayer.

I decided to watch it at "Splash". (This was 1997 BTW)
A big ole gay club, that was having an 'Ellen" party.
At the time, my address was, Seat 4 c/o "The Port Authority." I lugged around this piece of rolling luggage; always. With the pretension I was off to 'merry ole England' or 'bringing back my winter stuff from my mom' as I went to interviews'. I actually was working at this (excuse the french) 'vermin ridden cock sucking place for 3 days' (City Crab-Park Ave. So)before they caught on and they fired me. (God; how sad). I just needed a week to get my shit together and the place(rat hotel) on Jane Street was too exspensive (176 a week).
Okay, back to "Ellen."
This my people (pre-outing, unfortunately) is one of the best sitcoms ever. She (and the cast) were spectacular. (kudo's to Jolie Fisher, the resplendant Clea Lewis and Jeremy Piven's hairplugs).
Okay, back to 'Splash.' I feel gross. I don't actually stink, but; a laundry mat and a mani/pedi
would be a plus.
I'm at the bar, (stealing drinks...sorry-sad face); when this kinda hottie in a suit tells me he is in love with my ass.
"Como?"
See, if I was Hotty F. McTwatty, I would shrug this off as a kind of 'construction worker' comment; but I was exremely needy at this point (and lacking my sleep index #).
Fast Foward to me leaving with this dude and me trailing a piece of Sampsonite on 3 wheels behind me (that i checked! {@ Splash}). <--- I am laughing my ass off now
I never saw this whole episode.
I remember a taxi uptown, and probobly passing out next to him before we did anything.

Today, watching this episode, I was laughing and smiling. It felt good, ya know.
At least I'm in a different place.
I'm smiling.
That's a good start.