Sunday, January 15, 2012

Golden Globe Predictions

I know these are a farce. I know these sycophant GG people just are masturbating to their guest list. I know, I use to tell Bennie, my step-dog, I know.

BestPicture-The Descendants




Actress Com./Mus-Kristin Wiig

Actor Com/Mus-Jean Dujardin

Animation- Tin Tin

Foriegn-A Seperation (Melencholia shouldhave been here)

Sup. Actor-Christopher Plummer-(freaking amazing)

Sup. Actress-Octavia Spencer

Director- Scorsese




TV Drama-Homeland

Actress Drama- It Better fucking be Madeline Stowe

Actor Man Drama-Cranston

TV Comedy-Modern Family

Comedy Actress- It fucking better be Amy Poehler

Actor-Alec Baldwin

MiniSeries ha...just go hom you other losers

Downton Abbey

Actress Mini-Winslet

Actor Mini-Hugh Bonneville

Sup Actress Mini-Mags Smith

Sup Actor Mini- I hope-Guy Pearce

I will have a cool recap

Page Turning

Darrell Hammond, most known as the best Bill Clinton impersonator from SNL has written a harrowing book regarding his self inflicted abuse before and after SNL.

I know Mr. Hammond's is more extreme, but I can relate on his mother's emasculation of him,and the cutting.

I did something worse than cutting. I use to use my thumb nail to just etch away those seven layers of skin. And I would make it look like suicide scars on my wrists. This is his fresh air interview. Terry Gross was so coolto him.

Friday, January 13, 2012

7 Year Anniversary!!!


Pearls of Wisdom

The other night while trying to fall asleep, my sleep aid, the BBC had this 'brain surgeon' on. This expert was on who 'claims' to be a networking expert, you know, like the 'experts' they have on for 3 minutes on The Today Show.

She's blathering on and on about some such nonsense that the corner vagrant could have told you, when see spat out this diamond from her clenched ass.

"...and these steps should lead you to the cream of the crop, or what we call the Marzipan".


I was in complete darkness and I through my hands up as if to say, what?

Marzipan, as far as I know is basically a sculpting almond paste. Some people enjoy it. I worked at this one place where the marzipan was shaped into fruits and vegetables, and they are painted with edible coloring stuffs.

I have never seen a dessert except for maybe a certain petite four or two topped by marzipan? Why not tiara ? Or telephone book on the refrigerator? Or those light bulbs in the ceilings of museums that you wonder how the hell, and who the hell puts those in?

Marzipan? Really?

I picture said authoress sitting in her local Patisserie, daydreaming over her second or third Sancerre that she is going to be the next J.K.Rawling(s?), when she espied a dessert she was craving and viola-marzipan.

Holy Shit.

Marzipan,on desserts (or almond paste) is usually on the bottom, and taking this birds advice, that's where you will end up.