Monday, January 31, 2005
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Racism has many colors and this one is a hip hop station making fun of Asians, with the idiot deejay piping in to call the stations news reader (who is Asian), "...(who) feels superior because she is Asian."
I bet you 10,000 bucks that if during the recent genocides in Africa, an Indie station or such would play something making fun of those atrocities, the station would be burned to the ground.
But, you know what, an Indie station would never do that. We, (lovers of Indie) are pacifists, and it would not even enter our "mortal coils."
I implore all New Yorkers who listen to this asshole station or who are forced to listen to it as I was when I worked at this stupid restaurant, to turn the dial.
Here's a link from the Daily News.
- A 0-18 month category, where mothers fashion their hairless kids with wiglets.
- A creepy emcee serenading the girls face to face with a pedophilia song.
- Two extremely queenie pageant stylists, whose own daughter is the reigning queen.
- A mother who cares more about the circuit then her her son going to jail.
- 5 year old girls performing routines based on stripper acts.
- Pageant Moms who do not have daughters so they enter their sons.
- A 6 year old girl's singing,"Lipstick on your collar" and "Where is Love."
It is so hard to capsulize this disgusting display of acid wash wearing, overweight parents who chain smoke and shell out hundreds of dollars to win a $500 or $1000 savings bond, that will mature in 2020. It's sickening.
Monday, January 24, 2005
Sunday, January 23, 2005
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Thursday, January 20, 2005
It's so weird. people are so intrigued by us..The few, the proud, the (hiccup) 10%.
I tried to read a message board on my favorite show, Project Runway, yet I was blinded by idiotic speculations on who was gay or not. These closet cases are ruining this country. They are so afraid to face up to their own sexuality that they cause an uproar of like minded speculating assholes.
I don't read Paglia enough to see if she has a say on this.
There are so many repressed assholes that are ruining this counry.
I had a roomate in college who was so fucked up by his religion, that instead of facing any facts, he drew a machete on me while I was sleeping. And the kicker is, as far as he knew...I was straight. I tell my Republican Brother (whom I love) that I am moving to Holland, and he laughs. Yet, I have never seen a city so friendly with one another.
I saw a couple of jobbies on Craig's List that were cool, but each one wanted me to send a picture. WTF?
I played the advocate of the demon.
I sent my pix. Zero replies. With my pix, I sent my resume which is killer. tick tock tick tock. Nothing.
I then decided to test my journalistic license. I went to LA models and downloaded a picture of, what seemed to be a third world girl.
I call her Irena. Based on a fabulous worker bee I knew from years past.
I made up a fake resume, which lacked any real jobs in the service industry, and (people) my email is jammed. The owner wants to meet me. When can I interview? When can i start? Some secretary actually typed me a letter that, the owner wants to buy me dinner.
This restaurant chain is Pershing Square and The River Cafe, et al. This is so bogus.
Monday, January 17, 2005
This hard partying frat girl is dead to me. Dead.
It all started about a year ago when she was on Conan. She obviously had never seen his show before. She rolled her eyes and was looking at the audience as if to say, "Is it me?" She didn't realize that everyone in the audience were Coneheads.
The other day, to make up for her nephews poor judgment in a costume, she told the few people asking her that Harry "would make his mother proud." Is this chick snorting coke through dirty Five Dollar Bills?
Now, she shows up at all these Hollywood Events. I just checked Getty Galleries and she was there. And her picture was the same as ever. That deer in the headlights look, with her buck teeth shooting out of her mouth as if to say, you are shooting me? That wide eyed surprised look. Weight or no weight, she belongs on the Fug Girls list of fugliest has been commentator, presenter, star f*cker, ever. if only she was Canadian, I would hate her more.
I left at 4:00 pm feeling rejected and used. I am quite the worker bee, a great ethic I learned from my sperm donor.
I got home in time to watch a Gilmore Girls I had missed and to watch the pre-arrival scene. I felt as though I had to make a very searching decision. Joan and Melissa or Star "I married my elbow" Jones. It was a scarier decision than being a captain on a sinking ship and choosing between two ex wives for the lifeboat. On one hand we have Miss Rivers (the elder), whose clanking dentures and face of a starving goat I have a hard time of handling. Besides the fact that she knows zero about the people she is interviewing, and I honestly do not think she is funny at all. Her jokes go in two camps, rude and brash or Catskills 1939. Either way, they (her jokes) hang in the air, waiting for the invisible drummer to give a, "dun-dunk", signifying the punchline. Her daughter is absolutely useless. It is nepotism at it's most ugly. What has this ugly girl ever done for a living? Did she go to a good college? Did she ever think she could be an ything with out surfing on her mother's name. She is, quite sadly, fugly.
Playing Devil's Advocate, we have this chocolate blob known as Star Jones. Reynolds, I hear she is adding on name. This woman makes Narcissus look like a wall flower. I have never seen a display of unsure confidence than this woman. Saved fom a tsunami...(she was in Dubai!<---three weeks earlier), blessed, and a major star F*cker, this woman makes giving a kid to the orphanage look like a stroll in the park. Ya know, it is nice to see a fat person exude confidence rather than palm oil, but this chick literally takes the cake. I was fat once, and it takes a lot of liquor to get to that confident leval. But word on the Chelsea Streets has it that her "elbow" has been around the piers, I mean Rambles, I mean park.
For the pre-show, I meandered between the two evils. I honestly wanted to see how some of the women looked. The pallette of colors ranged from black to lavender. The days of Cher are gone and I miss them.
Hotties at the pre-show include, Virginia Madsen (who should play a sister of Tea Leoni in a flick), Joely Richardson and the ever fabulous Cate Blanchett. The latter of the three looking amazing and has me questioning myself.
Leo DiCaprio looked great. His hair was styled so cool. Lots O' Gel! Still, he looked great.
I plan to be at an award show soon, based on my two unsolicitated scripts which I will be selling soon, so I need some wardrobe advice. I am at polar opposites to the butttoned up tie crowd.
Are there rumors I have missed of Joan Rivers being an imbiber? This woman seems drunk. Either that or she is battling a case of dimentia. She called Jessica Walters, Barbara. She has no mind. She has to read from cue cards. Joe and Jane Public...wouldn't you not do enough research had you this job? This woman is useless.
That Iranian woman who was in "The House of Sand and Fog" is effing gorgeous, I for one am glad she got a gig on "24."
Kathy Griffen is hilarious on stage, but she is no commentator.
Mariska Hargitay is a dream woman. I love her on/off television. Her mom, for those of you who don't know, was Jayne Mansfield, the gorgeous Marilyn Runner-up who was beheaded in a car accident. Marishka won, and I dropped tears. Cripes, Patricia Arquette has been hanging around Craft Services too long..
Ewan McGregor and his (lucky) wife are a fine looking couple. Clive Owen is a looker as well.
Emily Watson takes my breathe away
Okay, William Shatner looked absolutely pie eyed, but suffice to say, him and Spader rule. Diane Lane, fresh off her beating from Josh Brolin is resplendent in olive green.
Charlieze Theron looks amazing as a brunette.
Teri Hatcher looked absolutelly gorgeous. Her acceptance speech was a two-hanky.
Man, is Lisa Marie Presley suffering from depression? Gosh, she always seems so solemn. She just made like, a hundred million selling her dad's shit. My father left me a scar that will never heal. Lucky her.
I am so digging Hillary Swank Honestly, I have always liked her. I have been behind her while she baught coffee and I have seen her, numerous times, on the streets of Manhattan with her dog, with her husband, and with the combo. She is so low key, yet so in demand. Kudo's Hillary.
Yeah, Jason Bateman won. Will somebody please watch "Arrested Developement"!
Allright,I fell asleep.
Friday, January 14, 2005
My mode of transportation is the ferry which runs on the half hour for most of the day. I hate to say, "I Swear", so believe me when I tell you that no matter what I am doing, when I arrive at the ferry terminal, it is inevitable that as I approach the escalator I hear the loud fog horn of the boat pulling out for it's journey. And subsequently, I now have to wait another 29 minutes for the next boat, which as you may guess, drags on longer than a stint in a doctor's waiting room.
So, when I am rushing for the boat the clock is ticking like I am in Final jeopardy, when I miss it by within a minute I feel like I did when I was young, at Latin Mass, waiting for the priest to pick up the chalice signifying to me that the mass was almost over.
It's taken me 34 minutes to write this post, at work this same amount of time would be comparable to about 43 seconds.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
When 40 is closer than 22 and you see something that makes you say, "God, that was my calling, is it too late to try my hand at this?"
When I was younger(9-13), I use to draw these pictures of movie stars at an awards show. They were presenting, you know, opening the envelope with a bubble cloud saying, "And the winner is..."
I would draw these because I was a freaking lover of all things celebrity and I would be so enamored of the dresses these actresses would wear at these award shows. I loved to design the gowns that I had my muse, Tina Louise wearing at all these functions. I loved drawing cleavage and designing plunging necklines, yet I had other talents as well, and it is with those that I followed.
I'd love to know what Project Runway elicits in others non prejudiced like me.
Eight designers were back last night as they chose their model before the challenge was relayed, which was to design a wedding dress for the model. The model would be the client. The models age in range from about 16 to 23. This collaboration could actually be good since the girls are young enough (read: not jaded un-married 35 year olds) to know what their wedding dress of her dreams may be, and fashionable enough from the industry to think outside the box.
I found Melissa to be so endearing, knowing exactually what she wanted as she described her design to Nora, whom you may remember as the erratic faux hawked non-team member of last week. The project went forward as the designers shopped for materials and went back to design. That evening the whole crew went out to The Cutting Room were they let their hair down. I wish we could have seen more of them hanging out, but the overall impression was that everyone thought that Robert Plotkin, the designer who is skating by on his looks, really wants to bed Alexandra, the enigma. As Robert puts it, "she is a nice specimen." Dan Renzi, of How was your day, Dan states that he would put Robert on a stick and lick him like a popsicle. Cut to Robert trying to execute a lame ass flip on some scaffolding and falling three feet and cracking his head. His true prima donna showed when despite the blood and brains, he was only concerned about the hospital shaving his hair off.
The Runway show began. Wendys blah. Roberts eh. Jays sleek and minimal yet "morganza" could not strut her strut in it because of it's Moticia Adaams like tightness. Kara Saun...Awesome. Jenny, the model glowed in it. Alex' was very Palm Beach meets the Great Gatsby. Austin Scarlett O'Hara's was putrid, absolutely horrible. As Michael Kors (designer who rumor has it had a penal implant a few years back) stated, "Even if you were getting married in a loft in Williamsburg, you would not wear this." Kevin's model was crying because the dress had no lining and she itched, she still looked beautiful. And then there was Nora, whose dress was pretty but looked straight off the rack from David's Bridal. Melissa, I may add, looked gorgeous and she had a beautiful radiance to her. When it boiled down to four designers, one being the winner and one the loser, Kara Saun deservingly so being the former and Nora the latter. Oh, my dear little Nora. Last week you bet the viewing public you would not cry if you were to be eliminated. Yet, the crocodile tears you shed at the end must have been karma biting you in the ass. You behaved like an immature college brat last week, and although you are a just graduated woman, you need a lot to learn about team work, gossiping, and having an appropriate agenda to succeed. Can't wait for next week where the designers have six hours to make something, and we also see them away from their sewing machines and out on the town again.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
When I was living in Los Angeles one of my jobs was at a club as a doorman. It was not one of those Sunset Strip type clubs with Armenian Guido's and Stipperella wanna-be's. It was more low key(ish) except for when I had to turn away people because of overcrowding. Man, people are so persistent, and it doesn't help when you have someone like me who caves pretty easily.
When I was first offered the job, I sort questioned the owner's judgment. I'm 5'8", and at the time I was slightly less then a medium build. Hardly imposing is what I felt, yet he assured me of the clientele and that I was just basically a money taker.
My next problem came in the form of my wardrobe. I have to admit that I care about how I am perceived by others, although if you ask me what the hostess at the restaurant I ate in tonight was wearing I'd be hard pressed to tell you; but she was pretty. Yet, I always feel that I will be making these branded impressions on people if I do not put some effort into it. At least give as best I could.
I'm a jeans, t-shirt type of guy. In fact, that's all I basically own. I was and always am in the position of not having enough disposable income for clothes shopping. I use to be a lay-away type of guy. I went shopping at a few stores down Melrose and I saw some cool stuff, but as I would be working the door 3 or 4 nights a week, I would have to mix it up a bit. One killer shirt for 65 clams times 8 is serious bucks.
I turned onto Fairfax and I stumbled across a place called "Out of the Closet." It's a thrift store that gives all of it's profits to an AIDS organization. People donate all the stuff that is in there. Since the neighboring areas are West Hollywood and Beverly Hills, it is a possibility to score.
And score I did people. Every single night people would go out of their way to compliment my shirts or weather permitting, jackets. I mean, sometimes I see people looking good, but I would probably say that MAYBE once in my life, I have asked someone where that got that certain article of clothing. It wasn't only girls who were the complimenters either. I worked with a lot of comedians on stand up night, and let me tell you, comedians are really miserable lushes despite their chucle-y demeanor on stage. And for me to get compliments from that ilk, well let me tell you, that was big time. Pretty soon I was hitting all the Out of the Closets in the surrounding 25 miles. I soon built up quite a wardrobe. It's funny when people ask you where'd you get that shirt, I so much wanted to say, "I paid 3 dollars for it @ Out of the Closet" but instead I would say that I had it for a while. A lot of the clothing were name brands, so I would look like more of a prick if I said I got it at the Versace department at Neiman Marcus. People would say to me, "Ah, your wearing my favorite shirt" or "If you ever wanna trade that shirt for something..."
That, Lizzie Grubman, is cool.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
That's Edie Sedgewick sitting there. She was amazing and her life was rife with drugs, drama and despair. She is the celebrated heroine of the biography by Jean Stien, aptly titled "Edie: A Biography." I have read this book about 15 times since first reading it in 1983, and I have always wanted to be involved in any kind of script that would most likely come from this brilliant life. I kept abreast of these wheelings and dealings, but the Sedgewick family, who were/are very prominent have always squelched any possibility of a movie.
About a week ago, I heard that many names of some "hottest" Hollywood tartlettes are being considered for the title role in yet another script I missed the boat on.
You know, mortgages on those manses add up. When your looking for an extra $14,000 for the house payments each month it sort of makes leaving a hit television series look pretty stupid. Besides, I think about 6 months later all of the co-stars got raises when they had a sit out.
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Did you ever see a movie, like maybe after it's been out on video for about ten years? It's the one video you always pick up in the store, but end up picking up something else instead while it's a hot release. After that it gets relegated to the $1 a day rentals and gets glanced over in your eyesight along with 100's of other titles, all of which you are not in the mood for and you end up leaving the store empty handed.
There's a funny comedian, Jim Gaffigan. He does some acting as well. He looks like Phillip Seymore Hoffman a bit. Anyway, Jim does this funny bit, sort of what I was speaking about up above. He's like," Did you ever see a film on cable that is five years old? And you really liked it, but you can't just bring it up in a conversation with a friend, like, hey...that Donnie Brasco was really good,huh"(My apologies Jim for completely ruining your bit).
I'm a total television junkie. I often give up a movie I may want to see in exchange for a good repeat of Frasier if they both start at the same time. A lot of the time I feel comforted by familiarity, just leaving the tellie on as a sort of white noise. I have these homemade Simpson tapes that have like 20 edited shows on each tape, and since I am insomniac, I often pop them in when I'm ready to sleep. I get in my fetal position with my head away from the television as the videos play on and on. I don't need to see the faces or the screen because it's all familiar to me. I can basically do the animation in my head and finally fall asleep.
Last night, I had basically done everything I needed to do, and I actually was going to just lay down and watch television as I played Cubis on MSNgames. I can't just watch, I need something else. I need my brain to be doing as many things possible. And when it involves television, one of them challenging.
So, in conclusion. Have you ever seen The Usual Suspects? Wow that was good.
Friday, January 07, 2005
I'm watching this movie with Billy Crudup, whom I really admired since he basically began his career. I always feel like I have discovered people and then you will see their fame meter rise and you (meaning me) start to feel like you (meaning me) had something to do with it. I remember taking my friend Brian to see Jesus' Son, starring Billy C, and Brian was like, "wow, that guy was great. What's he been in?" I was also psyched because I loved the book and when I heard he was cast in it, I couldn't wait for the release. I also figured that would be the end to his obscure career due to the fact that the book was so good and now everyone will see how he is going to tackle this great role and then the next thing is, he will probably be in a Jerry Bruckhiemer (sp) film.
Well, Jesus' Son played at The Sunset Five for about a week and disappeared. It was too arty for the masses, I guess. At about the same time, I had heard that Billy C. was dating one of my favs., Mary Louise Parker. She was golden to me. I had begun a similar relationship with her (discovering) when I had first seen her in Longtime Companion, and then followed up on her in basically everything else. I thought I was going to lose her as well to the masses when she was in Fried Green Tomatoes, but focuses basically went out to Kathy Bates and Jessica Tandy. So, I got to see M.L.P. in the street and Off-Broadway, and that was cool. Now, she was dating another cool person. It would sort of be like, The Runaways opening up for Pearl Jam for me in terms of great double-bills.
When, M.L.P. won a Tony for Proof, Billy C. was right by her side and he looked so proud. I taped it. I then heard that she was pregnant. So, here is this cool couple for like 6 years and now they are having this kid together. What a good looking kid it will be.
When M.L.P. was seven/eight months pregnant, Billy C. was being spotted everywhere with Claire Danes. Speculation, I felt is what the gossip scribes were printing. Billy C. and Claire Danes had just finished a movie, and I'm sure they were just being spotted hanging out together after junkets and Press stuff.
M.L.P. and Billy C. split up. She had the baby and she won a few awards for her part in Angels in America. The Billy C. and Claire Danes movie went nowhere.
The reason why I started this post is because I was watching Billy C. in a movie, and when I first saw his name under the credits for this film I had never heard of (World Traveler) I instinctively went for the remote, to tune in. But then I thought about him leaving M.L.P. high and dry at eight months pregnant and I thought I would catch a rerun of Monk instead. Pledging my allegiance for M.L.P. I feel like he let me down, like so many of the men in my life so often do.
Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt have called it quits it was just revealed.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Coach Carter meet Friday Night Lights. And both you guys, let me introduce you to, Remember the Titans. Oh, look, it's Hoosiers...The list goes on.
It's based on talent and execution and using that brain. Unlike say, scheming and conniving and in the case of Fox's recent abortion, being adopted and guessing "the baby daddy."
I've linked the website. For those of you who have missed it so far, check out what has been created thus far. It's host by Heidi Klum who basically has the personality of a sandwich bag.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
You might be thinking to yourself, "I think MickeyItaliano may have a crush on him", well; I don't. I just have to give credit where credit is due.
Did your head just swing back and forth involuntary in disbelief? Mine did.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Did the "Point Break" ending take place in Thailand? I can't remember. Bodie wanted the perfect wave...I've known a lot of surfers and they all flocked to these archipelagoes for 6 months a year to surf...I guess a lot of those grommets and dudes caught the perfect wave. I hate to sound crass, but the ocean is so elusive and mysterious that it seems so less horrific as an image of say, people holding hands and jumping from the World Trade center's everything burns around them.
Which leads me back to the initial sentences of this post. My TiVo inadvertently recorded some Baba Wawa year end fuck fest that "celebrated" 10 interesting folks of the year. Was any thought put into this hubris other than trying to score a decent audience against The Amazing Race or whatever was on TV that night? I doubt it. How a big footed, blue contact lens wearing bimbo who has done zero for society since she started breathing our oxygen garners a spot on this list totally baffles me. I wonder if producers actually take meetings for these shows or do they Email it in on a Blackberry from a table at Spice Market? <---visit here for the lowdown from all disgruntled NYC restaurant employees...
I'm curious to know if other countries are as interested in faux celebrities as much as the US and UK. Like Denmark? Or Iceland? Or even Italy, France, Japan? Are their heads filled with as much useless information as we are deluded with. Even without watching those blocks of Entertainment shows which recycle the same story on each channel and bill it as an exclusive and even without reading an Us or People, I am still in the know. It seeps into our unconscious by chatting co-workers, or our rubbernecking to glance at someone's newspaper, taking up space in the vast amounts of unused synapses each of us have so many of....
I'm just as guilty as everyone else people...I just wish I could change it in myself.
I watched S.V.U. till Elizabeth Rohm begged for Bobby Flay. Then I watched Bravo. I swear, I thought it was the 100 scariest movie mommies, but it was movie moments...Bravo turned straight from 4-5 am. The Actor's Studio was on next, and if James Lipton is not the scariest "uncle" in the perv field, I don't know who else could fill those boxers.
Have you ever heard him go on about Michele Phiefer? It's sick, he goes on to ask anyone who has worked with her, what it was like, as he wriggles in his chair with glee. Another thing about this show that pisses me off are the scores of people who should have been on before we get a Cameron Diaz or Jennifer Lopez...How bout Judy Davis? Toni Collette? Lili Taylor? PARKER POSEY! Did you ever see the students on that show? They have more in common with the latter than the former. Even the Charles Nelson Riley/James Lipton(Alec Baldwin/Will Ferrell) SNL skit was more believable than asking JLo what it was like making Anaconda!