Thursday, March 31, 2005

MOTHER EFFIN’ HYPOCRISY STRIKES AGAIN

I knew when my father used to beat the crap out of my mother, myself and my brothers that he was mad at something greater than his being 5'5". At 13 or so, when I confirmed to myself that I was gay, I started thinking about my sperm donor and wondering if in fact he was hiding a bigger secret. BTW, everyone was a fag to him.
Sobering news from the hypocritical Boy Scouts. The Head of Administration has pleaded guilty to possessing more than 500 images of kiddie porn, mostly boys. This man is 61 years old with 3 grown children. His lawyer likened his addiction this morning on The Today Show to eating salted peanuts. That he would receive images and delete them but it got too much for him. (!)
This comes how many months after the BSOA decided that homosexuality is immoral and they would not allow any troop leaders who were gay in this organization? Do you think all of the Red Stater’s will read this story? Do you think that they realize that homosexuality does not equate with pedophilia. Naw, I doubt it.

PLEASE GO AWAY

PLEASE GO AWAY
Having two channels to choose from sucks in some ways, but is better in most.
Dr. Phil’s Wife and Son
Jada Pinkett
Carson Daly (if anyone caught this tool interviewing Ice T the other night it was the definition of wigger)
Randy Jackson
Robin Williams and Movies about said unfunny comedian
Ellen’s DJ Tony
Pamela Anderson-Didn’t she retire last year to be a full time Mom?

Week after week
Star Jones
Kevin Eubanks, in fact everyone on Leno including the chinny one himself plus his supporting cast of Tom Green (ugh!), Kevin Smith (ugh infinity) and that fruity intern.
Working my last nerve
Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon
Tyra (TyPaul) Banks

The Amazing Race Rules

Last nights show was by far one of the greatest episodes I have yet to see. The brothers RULE. Rob and Amber RULE. The guy who lost looks and acts like the biggest wife beater in the world; and as his on again off again girlfriend looked on with a shiner he gave her, she still stated that it would be hard to leave him and she wants to make it work. I watched with Joyce whom I will be submitting an application with to be on the following episode. I will keep you all posted.
Florida is such a weird place. Last night with news of an earthquake that rocked Indonesia, they of course led off with the latest Shiavo news. The story that will not go away, with the right to life assholes lining streets all over South Florida blabbering their double digited IQ heads off. I saw sky writers all day today spelling out Jesus is Love and other proclamations, yet if you check most of the stories in the news and see how most people interact out here you would be hard pressed to find as many Christians practicing what they preach. This is a scarey state. I do believe that Jesus loves me, but I do not have to boast it to everyone as well as how I do not spew my rhetoric on everyone. At my nephews Christian Academy this past Easter, a giant bunny dropped candy from a helicopter. Anything to draw in the masses for those collection plates.
This world is fucked. By the way, I’m back.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

The A-GAY Zing Race

If you have never watched the Amazing Race (and if you haven't, it is hands down one of the best shows on tellie) start now. You are not too far behind. We are going into week three next Tuesday night but the kicker is, this one is the gayest ever. Team Weho (guess where they are from) are flamboyantly over the top (but is not 90% of Weho?) using such tired catchphrases as "Oh no she didn't" and calling a bunch of Peruvian fishmongers "bitches". These nellies will have you laughing. BTW, are gay people pre destined at birth to be gay based on their name? Case in point, Lynn from team Weho. Another team is a mom and her son (Patrick) who is also kinda femmie, but he has an "evil side"----Oooow. Actually, Patrick annoys me to no end...gay, straight, or Canadian. The last group of lovers are actually kind of closeted from what I read. The moniker under their names whenever they are on screen says, "Best friends for Life." Is that like "life partner"? Yeah, I've had a lot of guys that I introduced as my best friend to my family...In hindsight they must think I go through friends like water. Watch The Amazing Race.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

sometimes ahead of the curve

Five years ago I bought a Che Guevera shirt in a shop in Echo Park. I thought it was cool. Right now it is at it's most wearable state, having had so many washings and work outs done in it. But I only wear it indoors these days. It seems I blinked and forgot to pay attention to the gluttons which are teens; these sponges as they are, take everything and run it into the ground. In 10 minutes of buying something, half the middle schools across America are aware of this new trend, with text messaging, IM and whatever else. I saw a shirt like the Che one, but it said Cher (with a picture of her in a beret), I'm thinking this is the more radical choice.
I was aware of a Rosie O'Donnell blog a couple of weeks ago. Its stream of consciousness style of writing had me asking the same things Defamer asked today, is it Haiku or Frig you? It seems Boy George is mad at Rosie, Madonna and Elton, while George Michael is mad at Elton and himself and Rosie seems to be mad at Kirstie Alley and Scientologists. I'm sure Rosie might be wearing the Project Runway envy dress after seeing Ellen nab and tie for the highest amount of Daytime Emmy Awards. I do have to give Homecoming Queen (!-yes, she was!) O'Donnell kudos for one thing; she was always a fan, so she asked decent questions of her guests. As much as I heart Ellen, the girl has some lulls when she is interviewing. Sometimes she'll say of someone's movie, "it looks good."
So I'm in South Florida, working at this place, and all the kids I work with (20 somethings) remind me of the waste cases in the movie "Bully" which also took place down here. This one girl is about to go into labor at any second, yet she can not deliver a tray of drinks to a table because she is not 21. All the guys are wigga's with tattoos on the small of their necks and El Camino's and Camaro's, and they all sit in the parking lot after work for hours. Although I can understand I am the age I am, I am so glad for the times that I grew up in.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

This dam Photo above Hurts me :>{(

Ladies and Gentleman, Live from the Potawatomi Casino in Milwaukee, WI...Joan Jett and the Blackhearts...
This picture hurts. Look at the guy yawning in the backround. The sparsity of the crowd, the mook up front with his poker playing attire and gold chains. A freaking Indian Casino! Man, doesn't Milwaukee have like a Beacon or Ritz (type) theater?
I love Joan Jett, I have for over 28 years.
I discovered the all girl band The Runaways, for which Joan was a member, when I was about 10 or 11 years old. I was watching this great Made for Television Movie on a basic Network (Before Cable TV). Sordid movies that pushed more limitations then, that network t.v. does now. It was called, "Dawn: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway" in whice Jan Brady (Eve Plumb) played a fifteen year old runaway in Los Angeles who is a hooker by night. It was awesome. Anyway, in the backround I heard this infectuous song, they kept on playing a few bars stopping and then a few more (nerds and theatre geeks might call it a cresendo? I'm just guessing), and suddenly the girl who exclaimed "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia" was trolling Sunset Blvd. for johns and this great song is playing. "Hello Daddy, Hello Mom, I'm a Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch- Cherry Bomb..." I watched the whole movie, on this; a school night. I sat close to the television gripping the foil covering the rabbit ears for clearer reception as the credits rolled. "Cherry Bomb" by the Runaways.
The next day I took the bus home from school. Still clad in my Catholic School uniform, I waited in an always never ending line at Korvettes to pay for the self titled album of these, the coolest 16 year old girls I had ever seen. I have followed her ever since.

This is in no way affiliated with THAT Travolta miasma!

I've received a few Emails from disgruntled hetero's who obviously typed in "Be Cool" on their browser and were given the link to the cool store. These people were so intent on going to my profile and Emailing me to let me know their dissatisfaction in finding a Gay (!) Blog. Well listen you stupid assholes, John Travolta is gayer than a freaking picnic basket on Christmas. So go shell out $10 bucks to see this hubris and don't come to the cool store looking for merch. of this movie. I was disappointed myself, when at 10 years of age or so I learned that Fonzie was not Italian, so get over the fact that Travolta is (BaH Ha Ha!) not some macho dude. He is a closet case. What else do you think Scientology is for?

Thanks to Damon D. for showing me this cool site that helps you make yourself into a South Park character. Posted by Hello

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Poor Beard

You know how Grace on Will & Grace had a past which consisted of dating mostly gay men? I have a suspicion that this is the same spell Penelope Cruz has fallen into.

Gawker Media sued by Durst

Skeevie Fred Durst has named Gawker Media (Gawker, Defamer, Wonkette et al) as one of the defendants in his suit to obtain 80 million in damages for showing his home-made porno on the Web. Seriously, aren't we the ones who should be suing him for this?

iPod Download Song of the Week

'Bring on the Dancing Horses"- Echo and the Bunneyman

Ian McCullough was the coolest.

Don't say I didn't tell you so

Wait till you see this commercial for a new television show with Ron Eldard starring as a detective who is blind and has a seeing eye dog. It's freaking hysterical. Eldard is overacting so much (and the couple things I've seen him in he was okay) that he is like Monk, but blind, and oh yeah, he's overacting. Classic.

Friday, March 04, 2005


This is why Calvin K is in Brazil. Holy Samba Batman, this guy is a doll. A cross between Joe Dellasandro, Tom Welling and a young Anthony K. from TRHCP...This guy is kinda in love with himself...He has so many shots of himself on his page...Oh, did I forget to link the page, I'm sorry... Posted by Hello

man...this chick is so freaking scary. It's like she has an addiction to collagen and saline. I was reading someone's blog recently where they could not get over Harry Hamlin in the "Clash of the Titans" and what a fox he was. Now, if you see either him or his shreiking idiot of a wife together, they look like they both got off of Dr. Frankenstiens table. Poor bastards. Posted by Hello

Even more reasons to love Jay McCarroll from Project Runway. Read this interview he gave to The Advocate. The guy rocks. Posted by Hello

Do you remember that show with Urkel?

Well, Urkels neighbors; the family in "Family Matters" had three kids. After a few seasons they seemed to have forgotten to tell the audience that their youngest daughter was either on a milk carton or the most recent Amber Alert cause they just wrote her out of the show. I'm happy to report that she is doing well, and she has a career in facials. Jenna Jameson doesn't even do these shots!

Thursday, March 03, 2005


Is there a line for Studio 54? Is this the 70's? Everyone I see recently and work with are snorting lines. I sat next to some guido on my flight down to Florida who offered to set up a bump for me in the bathroom. I didn't even know the dude. I mean; freaking grow up people. And you just know the trickle down effect has reached the tweens. Mini Scarface's in Middle School. Man. I know fashion goes in cycles, but drugs? Posted by Hello

Michael Schoeffling


Was anyone else crushing on this guy...Michael Schoeffling is his name. I actually watched "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken" because he was in it. Best remembered as Jake from "16 Candles", and his memorable conversation with Long Duk Dong at the end. Long Duk: "She go with Bo Hunk and get maw-weed" Jake: "Married?" Long Duk : "Maw-weed" Jake: (softly to himself) "Married?" Long Duk: "Yes, Maw-weed! Sheesh!" He also was pretty cool and hunky in "Longtime Companion." Posted by Hello

Hey, I'm Alive...

The Oscars sucked, Scorsese/Leo were robbed.

Florida has a lot of whack jobs.

My first interview I was hired in three minutes, take that New York.

Me and my best friend Joyce are entrepeneurs in the Flea Market World. We drive around her glitzy development on trash night and take the good stuff that these people with so much disposable income just toss out and sell it. We have made approximately $100 a day each on Sat and Sun afternoons. Best find so far? Either a teardrop chandelier or the CASE of Afrin (nose spray) which was not expired.