Thursday, July 26, 2007

You Can Not Deny It

I'm never prompted to fully out and out comment to myself out loud whilst watching television on someone's absolute beauty. But, God Almighty, did anyone see Catherine Zeta Jones on Letterman last night? Holy Cripes, she is just flawless. Absolutely flawless.
This is the kind of person you never want to meet in person because; a) she may make you lose any sense of decorum or speech and b) she may be this 'ugly' person and supercede all of that beauty.

Monday, July 23, 2007

The Swimmers

I'm back in Florida for another round of insemination. I arrived on friday night @ around 11:30 pm. Joyce picked me up from the Lauderdale airport and then we shot over to the B&N to buy the new Harry Potter for someone where they were selling the book @ midnight. What a bunch of kooks. I know that some of the Potter crew were adults, but I never realized they made up the majority. Dressed up in capes and stuff. I'm not going to knock them. Every salt shaker deserves a pepper shaker, right? So, by the time we got to her house, Sloan was sleeping. I tried to get to work (wanking) and, I don't know if it was the long day or what, but I could not, I went out to have a cigarette, and Joyce was waiting at the kitchen table. She thought I (finally) had the stuff. I told her about my nether regions having jet lag, and she said not to worry. But i did. I told her I was having a smoke. I sat outside and listened to the never ending random fireworks that are constantly exploding and when i came back in, I said to her; "i just thought of a good scenario. I'll be out in a couple of minutes."
I looked back over to her to see if she heard me, and she was doubled over laughing uncontrollably. I didn't mean it as a joke, but it was kinda of funny. Now when we do it, she asks me if I have any good scenario's.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Musings (Cripes!)

I can not even begin to tell you the dismay in my heart regarding my profession. ( good times), line cook (sous chef-whatever you want to call it) at other times. Right now, thanks to the proliferation of immigrants in the country, my job is paying a HEFTY, $10.00 an hour on average. I am High Balling here. "Zoe" managers, "Blue Fin" or "Blue Grill" (whatever the frig your name is) people as well. Check out Craigs List. They have the balls to proclaim the 10 bucks like we are breaking their doors down.
Long story short. In 1996, I was working @ this place called 'Lemon' (yeah, it was). I started out as a line cook. Pasta station. Easy as pie. Chanterelles were sauteing as 'vodka' sauce was simmering (p.s. no one uses vodka in their vodka sauce). $17 clams an hour. I sweat ed my peepee head off, but the paycheck was cool. We are now, 11 years later. And the best I could get is $11 on the books.
If your asking where industries are being affected by this problem, by 'Joe Schmoe' (no hint to his/her skin tone or their countries parallel on a map.)
I was to start this job two days ago and then yesterday and then today and I have been dicked around in each instance. And the funny thing is that I think this job is really shakey and they think I'm a dork. Listen. I'm the last person to 'je accuse'. I feel like Dudley Moore in "Arthur" when I say it is a 'hookah' bar.
Fuck. You have to laugh with me. Only me, right.

Monday, July 16, 2007

May cause lethargy and or incontinance

I have a brother who is probably one of the most difficult persons in the world to get along with. I just left my mothers house where he is living for the time being, after blowing his whole net worth on gambling, and as usual it ended in me storming out of the house because I refuse to scream and yell at someone who's main goal is to get you into that state.
I left there thinking, as I always do when I'm in his company, "God, I wish I can make this person happy."
When I was young, like 12 years old, I remember saying something to him which was kinda profound for my age. I told him that if he was in my class (12 boys/13 girls), I probably would not ever speak to him. Which was the case with 2 of the boys that I went K-8th grade with. He is just a sad, miserable person that I hope can have a day of pure happiness in his life instead of the many condemnations he passes along either vocally or silently in that narrow minded head of his.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Too Much Info

Here are some bullet points of my life and travels as of late.

I stayed in Florida for a month. The woman I'm to get preggers got her period. I thought for sure it was going to take. But, I now see the mistakes we made, although the have studied up on how to do this pretty well.

There is a perception that lesbians are cheap or that they always complain about their lack of money, which I concur.

US Air FUCKING SUCKS. I had a lay over in Charlotte that turned into 26 hours with no vouchers for food or hotel. They claim everything is an act of God. What God do they believe in? At one point they were telling us that our crew had not shown up yet. Is that an act of God? Because Susie Lou was out partying last night? Assholes.

I took a complete 180 in my life going down to Fla. It was too chaotic for me. I've come to believe that I am going to die a hermit. Although I befriended a lot of people, I need to see people on my time, not all the time. I require space and some down time. Sounds selfish and priggish, I don't know.

I saw someone with a bluetooth on. It struck me that about 9 months ago every turd was wearing these things. Bluetooth=Pet Rock.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Kind of Humiliating

Hey Everyone.
Here are a few more details regarding my sperm-donorage.
I arrived 2 tuesdays ago. Great flight on Jet Blue @ 6:30 am.
Here's a hint. Fly on a tuesday. The flights are always empty. I had 3 rows. Michael Musto from the Voice was on my flight. He recognized me from the halcyon days. (late 80's)

I flew into West Palm Beach and Joyce and Sloan picked me up and swooshed me to a doctor to get blood tests.
I was freaking because one of the tests in the "Lesbian's Handbook for Giving Birth" asked for a liver test or something to that effect. I'm guessing for hep. Miss Joyce knows I have been a raging alchie for years...and I was just worried.

Donna assuaged my fears the night before by stating the obvious. Trailer Trash. They are always plastered and the are always popping kids out like clockwork.

I've been good lately.

The tests came back (via a friend of Joyce and Sloan's), and they were all good. I started um, doing my thing. Sloan took an ovulation test and she was positive while she was at the firehouse. Joyce drove me there and wanted me to whack it in a Mobile Mart. I didn't.
We will find out in 2 weeks if this worked. It was so weird. I would do it (solo) and then put it up in a syringe.
I was like; in front of their door. "Orders Up."

Joyce has no problems with this stuff. It's kind of like being a nurse. She has seen all and done all.