Thursday, February 24, 2005

This was the Coolest woman in the world. there is a Bio, "Edie, An American Biography." I IMPLORE you to read this. I just finished my 32 reading of this and it is still fresh. BTW, cuz of Kyra who hates to talk about it. Ciao Baby. Posted by Hello

Tuesday, February 22, 2005


How Lauren Graham has never won an award for Gilmore Girls

How the fuck can they call Sylvester Stallone an "American Icon" on these Contender commercials.

If Florida is shaped like a cock, does that mean I'll get more while I'm down there.

Monday, February 21, 2005

What is a co-incedance?

I'm folding clothes to put in luggage to go to South Florida for a bit. Two suitcases...One way ticket. I leave Sat.
Thinking of Joyce; my J.A.P.PY friend whom I will be living near. She buys me stuff which I always secretly want but vocally deny her buying for me, yet she does. I'm bringing two of each, black and denim jeans. Lot's of shirts. And as I hear myself telling her in my mind; it's good to be this minimal. She that second. An hour later...I'm cleaning my pad so as to get the full deposit back. I'm packing shit into a duffel that I will stow at my Mom's. A roll of film pops out. The mystery roll lisa and I took driving cross country, 5 years ago. I think of lovely Lisa for a moment, and VOW to get this roll developed. I had not spoken to Lisa in over a year. She got me that job as a bartender at that boss of hers' new place, where I got SMASHED on my first night, cause all the patrons bought be Jaeggers. Little me with his tail between his legs decides to never face her or the boss again from fear of repercussions. I stop taking her calls, forever. the embarrassment, the shame, she stopped calling over a year ago. She is not the best phoner, either. Let's backtrack...Zero to 30 seconds after the film has rolled on the floor. The phone rings. I read the name on the caller id and it's Lisa. I love stuff like this.

"little joe never once gave it away..." Posted by Hello

iPod Download Song of the Week

"In the Meantime"- Spacehog

Cocktail Party Talk Today...

Fear and Loathing------>Hunter S. Thompson dies of self inflicted gunshot.

Q: What does a Lesbian bring her new girlfriend on their second date?

A: A U-Haul.

Last nights Simpsons, replete with a disclaimer of (horrors) same sex marriage and hockey intro was certainly current. Mayor Quimby proclaiming, "I hearby legalize Gay Money, I mean Marriage" is definately worth a 10 page essay in The New Yorker.

Highlights included: Homer (as Minister) starting the proceedings with,
"Queerly Beloved."

A teenage Patty hanging a poster of Jane Hathaway in her bedroom.

Snow & the City

When 5 inches are better than 9. Posted by Hello

Rhymes with HUNT or SWAT

I just can not believe my initial hate for this woman could intensify upon repeated viewings of yesterdays marathon. Usually, prolonged exposure in similar situations would have me feeling more empathetic or just completely devoid of any sensory perceptions. Tee Shirt Design courtesy of cafepress.Posted by Hello

Sunday, February 20, 2005

Mitch Dowd Underware Collection

These mates are players in Aussie League Football modeling underware at an event down under today (yesterday for them). The second from the left for me, please. Click anywhere to engorge, I mean enlarge (the picture, that is). Posted by Hello

'Project Runway" on SNL

SNL was actually funny last night...You had to stay up until 12:53am to catch a hilarious sendup of "Project Runway." Host Hillary Swank did a great job as Heidi Klum and Rachel Dratch captures Wendy amazingly. Sorry the pictures are a little shoddy, I do not know anything about screencaps, so I took a digital pix off of my TV. They even had the Jay character saying in true Jay fashion, "This project eats my ass." kudos to Swank who was in every sketch and was great, and for fear of being shanked, I'll reserve my comments on musical guest, 50 cent. Posted by Hello

Horatio and Fred as Jay and Austin... Posted by Hello

Saturday, February 19, 2005

"Pull my finger." As you can see people, it's all about lights and mirrors.
Paris: (to photographer) "You're so fired." click to enlarge for maximum scare factor Posted by Hello

NYC Restaurant Lovers...Whine and Dine

See how the workers (and ex) feel about your favorite places to eat. Shameless Restaurants offers up stories from (mostly) disgruntled workers at these "hotspots." I know some are most likely to be construed as having been written with vitriol and angst and piss and vinegar, but I can attest to some. I have worked on and off in the restaurant business in NYC for my whole life, in both the front and back of the "house." About a dozen of the places I have either worked for or trained at are listed here, and I can agree with these posters of rampant coke use by the management/chefs or bounced checks/tips missing. It's an eye opener in some ways, making you think twice about patronizing such establishments.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson would like his fellow actors to come out of the closet. He is currently co-starring as John Travolta's bodyguard in the movie, "Be Cool." What could possibly have made him state this tidbit on this junket.

Top Ten Slogans for the new GAY BEER

Top Ten Slogans For The New Gay Beer
10. For guys who don't like Busch.
9. Cold as a mountain stream, gay as a picnic basket!
8. For all the gay stuff you do, this beer's for you.
7. Made with the finest gay hops and barley.
6. Toss one back, and while you're at it have a beer.
5. The perfect drink for spending the afternoon watching "Trading Spaces" with the guys.
4. Come out of the closet and head for the mountains.
3. Wreck your liver and your marriage!
2. Drink until you can see "straight".
1. The Queen of beers.

From "Late Night w/ David Letterman", feb.08, 2005

When McGuyver gets cancelled...

Hot on the heels of a premature "Advocate" Cover Story, "the cool store" would like to go on the record and affirm a Sunday night outing with none other than Patty Bouvier, sister of Marge Bouvier Simpson. Low paid animator spies in Korea have told of drawing a very Billie Jean King-ish looking mate for former confirmed bachelorette. Posted by Hello

Friday, February 18, 2005


I'd hate to be the Mailman: "Toads turning dogs into junkies"

This is for the "Every Breath You Take" remix: Puffy sued for advance sans book.

Cocktail waitresses at Atlantic City's Borgata Casino will be suspended if the gain up to 7 % in body fat.

I don't know if you've seen some of the commercials for A&E's upcoming show "Intervention" but the show looks kinda disturbing. It may hit too close to home based on some of things I've put myself through. (no link avail.)

You can't make this up department. This guy was working with a group to curtail crystal meth. within the gay community. He got busted with intent to sell...police found ounces of it in his apartment along with gallons of GHB .

Project Runway Marathon Sunday. Starts at 11am EST and Runs for 10 hours. Awesome...I hope it snows so I don't feel guilty about being a lethargic coucher. Posted by Hello

Put these two out to pasture...

I don't know why it bothers me so much that Liz Smith and Cindy Adams collect paychecks for columns that are based solely on antiquated quotes and opinions. With a collective age of 150, these two doyennes have not had a scoop since the Truman Administation. And now comes this biased gem from Adams, "Sideways" set a record for a non-handsome leading man creating an Academy Award-nominated movie. Also a record for the most of us walking out of the theater mumbling, "I still don't get it."

Things to say to a neighbor you've never met before while shoveling

  • cold enough for you?
  • Wanna make snow angels? I'm gonna make a snow angel.
  • Hey, what if this was all cocaine, huh? Ha ha ha! Am I right?
  • You into guys?
  • Shit like this makes me really hate my wife. She's crippled, so she can't shovel for crap.

via Nat'l Lampoon

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

wow! she actually wore it. She tweaked it a bit, no feathers. Kudo's Nancy O'Dell. "our Girl", Parker Posey will be the 3rd judge on the finale. Posted by Hello

Monday, February 14, 2005

how cool is...

Kathy Griffen...asking Maroon Five who will win "Project Runway."

Melissa Etheridge (sans hair from chemo) having her head rubbed by Lance Armstrong.

being part of "the Gates"

selling stuff on Craigs list and meeting freak-a-zoids

cool Posted by Hello


I have never been a big fan of Mellisa Etheridge; as a matter of best friend L-O-V-E-D her to death. In 1990; I told Donna that Melissa was a big dyke; I was met with apprehetion.
Honestly I'm not a fan of Sheryll Crow, either. (She has copied Rickie Lee Jones, and refuses to admit it) But, there was a scene on the runway... Lance Armstrong battling testicular cancer rubbing heads with Sinead like Melissa E battling breast cancer. It made my day.

plain and peanuts

  • I kinda get misty eyed when the Emmy's, SAGS et al pay tribute to the passed away others. I don't know where I was at the time, but I had no idea that Wheezie jefferson died. Poor thing. I then saw the name "Paul Winfield." I totally knew this guy, but from what, I could not tell. I checked IMDB and as I scrolled down,Ii realized it. Paul Winfield is the GREAT VOICE of A&E 's, "City Confidential; that great show which highlights the town and then highlights the murder. R.I.P. Paul...

  • Hot from asking Mandy Moore to name "3 carbs", Kathy Griffen is back (side note: at the club in LA I worked at; she came on stage and told of her death defying days of Lipo.). Kathy did not dissappoint...She asked a Christian Rocker to , "stop looking at her rack," and she asked Maroon 5 how many hoe's they were hording in their posse.

  • Check out Page Six, Six, Six for this awesome picture of Cynthia Nixon and her girlfriend. Does anyone remember Mason Reese (the "Underwood Deviled Ham" spokeskid?)

Sunday, February 13, 2005

I "choo-choo choose you."
According to "The Onion", Ossama has a "crappy" message for our kids."bin Laden said. "May the homemade construction-paper mailboxes taped to the desks of the American schoolchildren remain empty, as well. May whomever you ask to 'bee yours' tell you to 'buzz off.'" Posted by Hello

I'm just mad about Saffron
Saffron's mad about me
I'm just mad about Saffron
She's just mad about me ...

"The Gates" are flapping away. Saturday's opening ceremony brought out all the Upper Crusty West Siders and their dogs (sans leashes) as the panels were unveiled. Bitter cold temperatures did not seem to keep anyone away. Today (Sunday) was an even better time to enjoy the full spectacle of this "subjective" project. With temps. in the 40's and the sun shining it was hard not to find this massive display awe inspiring. Yet, working at The Belvedere Tower in Central Park, I was privy to the bitter grumblings of some negative people.
Case in point: Female, 35-40, fashionably dressed. Complaining over the price of a cup of coffee {$1.50 (!) <---has she never been to a concert? A Sporting Event? A friggin food court? } She chatted me up some more- and when I told her I thought it was pretty cool how Museum Curator's around the world and folks of all walks of life were flocking to NY to make $7 an hour just to be a part of this event; she replied ever so bitterly while adding her 1/2 and 1/2: "Well, I don't know "how cool" it is, (yeah, she made air quotes) but they should have hired the homeless." I can't even begin to draw up up a point/counterpoint debate on this woman's statement. Some people will always remain ignorant and/or bitter regardless...Yet, they always want to be in on the "happening event" so as to spread their poisonous bile on anyone who will listen. It was a great two days (so far), and there are many happy people wondering around this amazing city. Posted by Hello

Saturday, February 12, 2005


This is great...The Tara Reid/Christian Slater movie "Alone in the Dark" grossed 400K on 2,200 screens last week. That is approximately $25 dollars per day in each theater (sometimes 4 showings per day), narrowing it down to one customer per showing.

The Grammy's tomorrow night...David Sedaris is up for 2 awards...Everything else has predictability written all over it. Hopefully Kathy Griffen provides some comic relief.

When some high priced Dr. Feelgood has the authority to write a prescription for anything. Matthew Perry rushed to hospital after an excessive amount of Rx "barbituates" are found in his bloodstream.

Feel like vegging out? Check out "Sweet Relief: The Songs of Victoria Williams." This nugget was on heavy rotation for me in 92-94. It's still as fresh, with standout tracks from Evan Dando, Lucinda Williams, Pearl Jam and Matthew Sweet.

There are only so many comebacks allowed in a lifetime. Even if you have reinvented yourself into a priestess, a recluse and a lesbian within a decade. Oh, wee Sinead. I championed around you for so many years based solely on the masterpiece that was "The Lion and The Cobra." Then you remade one of my favorite epic storytelling ballads, "Ode to Billie Joe." Your celebrity and fame with "Nothing...2U" basically ruined that rawness that you had coming out of the gate. The bravado that you showed on your first album, when the record execs asked to to sex up your look for the album cover, you shaved your head. I wish you the best with your planned three albums in the works. Posted by Hello

Best in Show:Another reason to catch the "Project Runway" finale. Parker Posey will be the third judge. Posted by Hello

Friday, February 11, 2005

I'm a big Fag Posted by Hello

I'm a big fag

There are too many clues. I love the Gilmore Girls. I love the guy in the Listerine Commercial who gargles for 30 seconds. Megan Mullaly makes me laugh, and i am so self depricating that i can't stand both Will and Jack. I would probably put aside my fear of lakes to swim across one laden with snakes and water moccasins if Tom Welling were on the other side. I don't high five. I cry at movies. We are talking, "Sponge Bob." My four best friends are women, who each have their own crisis' that i live vicariously through. i have the best gaydar in the world. Vin Diesel...GAY! If someone utters the words, "Eat Dinner and Olive Garden" in the same sentence, they are History. I would probably take my mother to the Academy Awards, given the chance. More to follow.

Man..."Joey" sucks. I know this show is like, 6 months old. I dig Drea De Matteo and when I worked at UTA (talent agency) we repped the son, Paolo...I mean "good fortune" to them all, but the show sucks. It's like they are 4 seconds behind the laugh track. And too boot, my friend, former work partner, (from Canistano's) Jennifer Coolidge is in this show. I'm really glad she is scoring a hefty paycheck, sitcoms are the mother lode! Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Green day

About 6 years ago, whenever i would mention I liked Green Day, I was met with scoffs. At first, everyone loved these guys. then some San Fran bitches said they were far from underground. Big Shit. They rocked my world. I was supposed to feel like a moron, and not be cool for liking these guys. Fast foward...everybody is like "Green Day this..." blah fucking blah. At least i have my values.
pissed off. Love Mick

Will and Grace...jumping tons of sharks

Bland as poundcake "guest star" Ed Burns joins the show tonight. Blander wife/supermodel Christy Turlington does a downward dog on her over priced yoga mat and scratches out her earwax not to hear that "Demi Moore" voice.


The word Stew makes me chuckle to myself, ever since Strangers with Candy's lothario/Butcher was named that.

  1. The Scissor Sisters are THE SHIT!!! As they clean up at the Brittish version of the grammys.
  2. "What else can I say? Everyone is gay." Marcia Cross vehemently sticks up for her being a confirmed bachelorette.

FORE!! How Cool is this. Brittish Open to allow transexuals to play! Posted by Hello

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

PROJECT RUNWAY Austin Scarlett Hermie O'Hara is gone. It was so bittersweet. Especially since I am zero for 10 in predicting reality show winners. Listen...We all hate Wendy, maybe; just maybe her daughter did grow a moustache. Next week looks AMAZING!!! I Absolutely heart KaraSaun. And even though Michael Kors got that penile implant a few years back and was an asshole to his staff, I think he and Nina Garcia have done a great job as judges. I'm even starting to like Heidi. BTW: Did anyone catch those Catchers Mitts Wendy is sporting for hands? Jay McCarroll is the funniest bastard on television. Period. Posted by Hello

'The Gates"

"The Gates"....I'll be working at this event for the next 16 days. Ths is it's skeletal look. It is Christo (that whacko genius) and Jeanne-Claude's 16 years in the making art project. Times this picture by about7,000 (goal post looking things) spanning through Central Park. For those who do not know, a beautiful saffron colored drape will be flapping in the wind. I'll take a picture Saturday, at the unveiling. This is Historic. And I am so glad to be taking a part in it. Posted by Hello

Cheers and Jeers

  • Twatsy Kendra and future abused husband Freddy won The Amazing Race last night. Beating out the extremely likable (and lickable) Kris and John.

  • Project Runway Tonight: Deliver us from Wendy...please! (Based on how I fare in deciding these Reality outcomes, I am probably wrong).

  • Today is Ash Wednesday. For those lazy Catholics out there, word to the wise; rubbing your thumb in an ashtray to avoid those long lines of lapsed church goers getting ashes does not work. If you happen to have any drawing charcoal, that works better. Don't forget to wash your thumb afterwards. Also, for those heretics out there, this is the time of year, Christians give something up for "Lent" (40 days and 40 nights). Abstaining from Sour Cream flavored Dorittos as opposed to Nacho Cheese does not cut it.

Posted by Hello

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

SARAH, according to my picks,( and I have been wrong the last three times) will be America's Next Top Model. Posted by Hello

America's Next Top Model Cycle 4

The site is up. A quick perusal of the chickies bio's are a little interesting, if not blue collar. There are a few restaurant workers, a janitor and a wrestler to boot. Although the pictures are pretty air brushed and heavy on the flood lights, I don't see much diversity other than white and black girls. My pick for the first girl who gets booted quickly changed when I read that her favorite movie is "Waiting for Guffman". She now has a couple of weeks reprieval from me. You read it here now, Keenyah will be runner up to winner Sarah, above.

Marcia Cross was just outed in the Brittish Press today. "She will be on The Advocate Cover next month with her g/f, also an actress." Marcia will be on The View tom. to put an end to this rumor 2/9, however she is very supportive of Gay and Lesbian Issues. Starr Jones still a fat piece of crap Posted by Hello

I'll take Potpouri for $200, Alex

How to Annoy People in any Situation...(it's a funny read)

James Gandolfini on "Inside...Actors Studio"...Favorite Curse Word: "Fucking Douchebag"

'The Amazing Race" 2 hour finale tonight. Don't even think of calling. Go Kris and John.