No Need to hide your disappointment

Those of you who have travelled down this long and arduous highway with me in the hopes that I might secure myself a job for more than maybe, let's say a month, I've got some bad news.

Interview on Monday went well. I'm scrapping the bottom here, I'm applying for line cook positions, because I really need money, badly, and if you look on Craig's List, there are tons of these positions available. About two thirds of that ton are corporate umbrella type jobs. Meaning, there are hardly any 'mom and pop' restaurants in NYC anymore. Everything is affiliated with either an ego maniacal chefs 'name' or some 'theme' type restaurant whose corporate owners greedy, roux stained hands are umbrella's for any restaurant over 80 seats. 'Ruby Foo's' begot 'Dos Caminos' begot 'Atlantic Grill' begot 'Blue Fin' etcetera. And that is just one corporation (Be R Guest <--- figures it's a frigging Disney tune!). This joint I interviewed at was newly opened (bad sign). The first chef quit (can a flag be any redder?) The new chef seemed okay, and I specifically told him 'what I was looking for'. He yessed me to death. He actually wanted me to train that night (sung to the tune of 'Desperado'). I declined. I went back Tuesday and trained. You know what's funny about these places? The kitchen area has to be the most homophobic work place of professionals. Fag jokes and 'boyfriend' jabs are tossed around like a vinaigrette on frisse. Either all these guys are just closet cases or they are all idiots with bad jokes.
I totally got thrown into the mix right away and I superseded any expectations, and 5 hours later, with no training pay (these bastards have some racket), the chef hired me. He told me to come back today(Thurs) @ 2:30. I immediately sensed something was amiss. He was like a giant dick to me. He was telling me about these strippers who were there the previous night for someones Christmas party dressed in these skimpy outfits, and I was like, "Yeah?" or "Really". Like I was not all, testosterone about it. Who gives a crap. Then he would tell me things to do, and I'd be doing them and he was just so contradictory. I swear to you, my dear friends, I almost left three times, but I took a few deep breaths and I told/psyched myself into staying because I have to. The service started and this guy just ripped apart EVERY FUCKING THING I DID. I could make an amazing Risotto blindfolded, and he is seasoning it with more and more salt. Then he says something else to me, and he's like, 'What's wrong with you?' and next sentence, "Pay attention." FUCK YOU, you dick. Fuck you and that 27 year old chef mentality you have.
I was like, pulling off my fucking rubber gloves, "I don't need this shit" (very low voiced) but it seems that the whole kitchen became quiet. I frigging felt so justified walking out of there with my head held high. No dickbrain has ever nor will ever talk to me this way.
P.S. This is how hunger starved for compliments these guys (chefs) are. He was standing next to me, making a Demi-Glace, and he tasted it, and I hear him say to himself, "Sometimes I amaze myself."
I'm pissed because I left my French knife there. Dammit.

Job #313 Update

Thank You, God
(Even if I do not get it)

I met for my interview on Saturday with Administration. Grueling, but good, because I felt so confident that this position was tailor made for me. I did not stammer or sweat. They left to have a confrence. They than asked me to meet with someone higher up today, Sunday.
I feel it went even better today. Unless I am a delusional. I'll know tomorrow a.m.
Perks: 9-5:30, M-F. Benefits after 60 days. Job Security and tons of advancement. Sweet.

Oh Yeah, I guess I should thank the kidney stones, because without them, I would still be putting in 6 days at 12-14 hours a day for the same money in a location by the S.I. Landfill.

(special thanks to Laura & Tesa)

And I think it's Gonna Rain Today

Today (friday) we are supposed to get a nice big storm. I can't wait because it would be the brightest thing in my life this week.
Of course, I have been interviewing again, since my aborted attempt at working 3 weeks ago hindered by nature and a bad diet in the form of kidney stones. I was told not to get too stressed. Ha-fucking-Ha.
Anyway, I've been sending out reams of resumes and getting call backs to interview and going on the interviews only to find out that the job they described is 'not exactly' the job the explained in the ad, per se. And like, I'm in no position to refuse anything, let alone a job that would have me waking at 3:30 am to get to the UWS by 5:30 am or the job (because they know they have you by the balls) that pays less than a babysitter or for that matter lestt than double of what my friend pays her housekeeper per hour. Every great job posting I see, I hit send with my resume and cover letter and say to myself "Be the Ball." (This was an expression I learned which helped me to hit better in baseball).
So, as I wait for my phone to ring with a 212 area code calling back with hopes that it is from the bachelor who is looking for someone to cook at his place for him nightly or from the the restaurant that needs an expeditor (salary, benefits, not cooking), I feel like once again I have to give in to the shitty job(s) that hire me on the spot. (The Kosher Restaurant, The Pakastani Deli who wants me to cook E-talian stuff).
Earlier today a job got posted for an Admin. Asst. for a High Profile Catering Org. to be a direct liason between the Chef and the Office with specified duties listed.
I could not type fast enough. I could not make the cover letter most specific to the fact that this job was for me. I wanted to implore them with out sounding too desperate to the fact that, I Want This Job.
Send.
Be the Ball. Be the Ball.
I get zero phone reception in my apartment. Sometimes, I'll leave the house and like 3 minutes later I will find out that I have 3 missed phone calls.
I shut my phone off. I went outside every hour after I hit send to see if I had any calls. On the 3rd attempt, I got the call (besides a few other jobs that I just put to save). The guy seems pretty cool. He is going to meet with me tomorrow (Sat.) and when I hung up and got up to my apartment, I freaking broke down.