Calling Every Waiter or Waitress

Please,Please...watch Party Down. It is one of those those that a) Got cancelled too early and b) neverhad a shot because it was on Starz.

Not since "The Comeback" has anything been so brilliant.

I can not even get into the cast. Perfection. Take my word.

Branded

Have you heard? Everyone in L.A. is a whore? Well, I listened to this live comic podcast and this person actually branded themselves. I had zero idea what the fuck BRANDED means, but it seems like all the whore's are taking advantage.

I have never been so grossed out in my life.

I fucking hate Los Angeles.

"I'm branded with ciroc vodka".

It seems every no talent ass-hole want's to brand themselves to a company.

Hold myponytail, I am gonna puke.

Podcasts

I have had zero to do with my songs on Itunes lately. I have made every mix I can possibly do.
I have totallybeen into podcasts lately. Something, over a year ago I asked my friend Jen to start with me. So here are my favorite podcasts (all free) for you to stream at your boring job or download while your on the elipticle.

Pop culure happy hour NPR

Sklarsboro County if your into insane sport stories

Comedy Bang Bang inane and insane comedy

Extra Hot Great for Canadians living in NYC's view on culture

The Apple Sisters A comedy troupe from the 40's (read:now211)

I will continue.

AM I Switching Teams..Fuck man

Staten Island makes me so fucking horny. I am now in love with this dynamo girl named _____.
I absolutely dig her. Her eyes are grey,jett black hair. She is so aweome.

Ted

I started this job (waitering) and the GM's name is Ted. I had Tom on the brain, so I was corrected. Did not last long. Nor my memory.
I came back the next day to train, and as I shook his hand, I said, "Hey Tom". The thing is, I did not realize it until I was at the bus stop 9 hours later.
The Kicker
I came home and was reading this story (on line), and the last sentence, I swear to God, said..."I'm Ted, not Tom".

Are We Not...

Shouldn't we have jetpacks by now? Man up. My feet are killing me.

The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest

I just finished the last of the three Swedish movies of "The Girl w/the Dragon Tattoo" series. I've read the books and I really think the movie adaptations are excellent. If you are looking forward to seeing the American version directed by David Fincher, I would go down to the library and take out the Swedish versions first.

Also,if you caught any of the Swede one's and thought the actress who plays Lisbeth Salander looked bad ass, check out this Charlie Rose clip of her from 6 months ago. ( about a 1/3 of the way down the page is the interview).

"I can't get to sleep..."

I need all suggestions on how to fall asleep. The pharmacist told me to try benedril. Nope. I bought excedrin PM. Nope. Herb--> starts with a v and I had to make a tea with it. Zoinks.

Gym 2 hours. Nada.

Television, my best male friend

**Men Of A Certain Age

**Nurse Jackie

**United States of Tara


Need suggestions

If my last name was Weiner...

First off, and not being insensitive to Jewish last names, I would promote not having some name from the old country which when translated here gets you mocked. Ralph Lauren changed his name from Ralph Lipshitz. Would you buy clothes from Ralph Lipshitz?
So, trusty and fiesty Anthony Weiner want's to go to Congress and become Mayor or Governor someday of the state of New York.
Dude, change your name.
About 12 years ago, I can see him fighting with his mother and father. They won over a tray of Linzer tarts.
So,in the light of yet another scandal from (3 posts down he was not in it ) these cocky, brazen, drunk Congressmen and Senators (and Presidents), can we please fill majority with women?
If my last name was Weiner, the last thing I WOULD EVER do, is send cock shots via Twitter.
The puns don't write themselves.
NY Post is having a field day with the euphemisms.
The thing that grosses me out the most...he shaves/waxes his chest.

If your Girlfriend is a starred *commenter on Jezebel

GET THE FUCK MOVING!!

Is there a term for the abuse an adult child takes (gets)?

My friend has to be there. Ya, know? They are the only one around. The surgeries have been rough and still on going, and he/she is the dartboard. They can not take it anymore. They need to know if there is a word for the verbal and some times physical abuse that a mother takes out on her adult son/daughter.

Dreams: Open Doors

I never remember anything about my dreams, but two specific instances stand out. Open Doors in both dreams. I just read the meaning about this occurrence and it signifies new beginnings. I think I have hit the Jerri Blank stage of my life.

Costanza/Can't Stand Ja

douche

Do you think the NYT reads the Cool Store

an article in the NYT recently focused on....drumroll...Movies I say I have seen but did not.
Do you think they read me? Christ on a Cracker (my new favorite saying). Well I have had so many idea's stolen from me, I guess the Times is a plus.
But now, whenever I do this column,folks are gonna be like? "Was that it the Times"
I did it first,thanks.

My feelings w/ all these cheaters

Women have always played the most important part in my life. They have been leaders, consoler's, bread winners and smart. Lovers (at weird points), best friends (6 to date for 20 years or more) and abject.
Yet, being a non Nascar viewing, non Bon Jovi loving AMERICAN in this country in which I would gladly not fly a flag unless I had to, as a majorette in a marching band, no need to, right? The United States was supposed to be this bastion of Amendments and Inclusions and Statue's of Liberty. Yet we are not. Practically every European Country has voted a woman to highest ranking. We, revel and are bemused that a smart movie like "Bride's Maids" made so much money. There is a sick, dis-connect in this country. Too many dominant men were giving the impressions too their sons, as they were pushing them to the limits, that women were homemakers. Yet when these boys/men grew up,they realized who was the friend and who was the enemy.
I am a second generation from the guys depicted above. I sat around bong-a-thons with guys who had these feelings for their fathers "Breakfast Club" style. But now. Their realization is now.
If we had more women controlling Capital Hill,I believe, we would be on our way.

WTF? **Adendum

I got an email stating that my blog views jumped by 400%. Hysterical man. I went from one viewer to 5!

How can I defend Staten Island anymore?

2 or 3 members of Jersey Shore. Mob wives. I cannot defend this place anymore. "This used to be my playground" Kinda sucks, cause I used to be so proud.

Films I pretend I saw but Did Not

I'm lame. I know. Why do I pretend to be so portentous? Ughh. How do I live in this body? Cripes.

My Beef with Kobe

About a week ago, Kobe Bryant called the ref, "a fucking fag". He was fined and he made some half-assed apology.
Living Muppet Bruce Vilanach responded this way::
Vilanch: If I called Kobe a nigger on national TV, I'd be out of a job and a house and I'd be targeted. We have to keep hammering that it's unacceptable behavior. His non-apology was very insincere. He's appealing the fine! I think he's a spoiled brat who's been enabled since he was a child. The irony is he was a guest star on Bette Midler's sitcom and he was perfectly nice.

He nailed it.