It's got to be unhappiness or unfufillment which is making me Jones more and more for wanting to get fucked up. En route to the library is the 'Buy Right Liquor Store' and I've walked in, browsed around, noticed that Vodka has gotten pretty expensive and walked out empty handed possibly because I was not going to drink some barBQue lighting fuel as my fall off the wagon cocktail. (I bet the least popular baby boy names for Alcoholics' are :Georgi and Alexi)
I don't want to drink.
See, when I take myself to the movies or go for a walk/jog I'm good. But when the dismalness of my life becomes apparent to me, the sheer boredom of everyday life, the life around me...Well, I just want to get drunk so I can fall asleep and be comatose for a few hours without overthinking every minute. Without looking at some succesful blowhard or reading about some spoiled rich tweens or not attending any seemingly sounding cool events or my stupid freaking commute which takes an hour and a half just to get off this island of misfit toys.
I'm getting roped into stupider and stupider jobs. I am like an old lady not being able to say no to telemarketers. God! I need a fucking Extreme Makeover: SOUL Edition.