Monday, June 11, 2007

Knocked Up

Well my dear friends.
I'm going to be a dad.
It's kind of convoluted and it goes from the ridiculous to the sublime.
I think this is finally going to be the thing that changes my life.
I'm (for lack of better imagery) saving my stuff.
The ovulation period is about 10-15 days after Aunt Flo visits.
Sloan is riding the cotton pony now( grammar school, I know).
With Russian adoptions out and basically every Chinese girl adopted by Upper West Side barren moms and gay yuppies, Joyce and Sloan looked to the sperm bank.
Then Joyce kind of felt unsure. I was like, why don't you ask one of the hottie firefighters Sloan works with. She said she did not want some loony tune coming after the kid in 15 years, i agreed. She's like..."What about you?"
I'm like: "I told you I would do it"
"What happened?" she replied.
"You told me I would be too hurt"
"Screw that" she replied.

Fast Forward.
We are on babies names.
Everyone thinks it's going to be a boy (because I have 4 brothers) but I am putting all the eggs in the girl basket.
If you notice. Guys with a gayish tendency seem to produce girls.
Maybe this is my scientific research.
I like (love) Isabella, Grace and Edith.
Boys...Xavier, Jeremy and Shane Michael.
Can't wait to hear from you.


Anonymous said...

Well, Michael, congratulations!

But, where are the good old goomba names? No Joey, Vinny, Jonny, etc. No Marie, Antoinette (Toni), Bella, etc.

I hope that you will be able to be a father figure to this little miracle. I think you'd be awesome!



PS...when is the little bundle due?

mickeyitaliano said...

I really want the name 'Enzo' but the birth mother almost crashed her car. She's not preggers yet. I'm going down on Tues during the mysterious 'ovulation period'.