Turn South for this Post

Or is it East? How do you feel about a Mosque being built near the former site of the Twin Towers? Go on, I'm listening.

old spice guy

I do not get it? LL Cool Jay is crying somewhere.

You don't wanna know me

I have to be the most unlucky mother fucker in the world or this was just destined to be. I am so sad. So fucking sad,you can not relate.
The job, the given...Me and this un-qualified guy. She was kissing him.

I want all my lady friends to send me a pix of them on that 'special' day. This is Donna. I met her on Sept 08, 1981 and we have been friends since. This picture makes me crack up, and I smile very infrequently these days.

I AM FINALLY OFF THE UNEMPLOYED LIST!!!!!

Thank You !!! I am never Fucking this up!! I will be here till I am 50! (Fifty Years Old, Dammit!) And then I will open my own place. I have tons of back catalogued presents to get people!! Be patient.

Jenna Maroney- Season 1 Factoids

Easily my favorite charactor on "30 RocK", Jenna Maroney has a scroll of accomplishments. This is how she has enough to pay for her Condo in Clearwater, Fl.
From Season One
* Played a female rapist on "Law & Order"
* Did an interview with Amtrak Magazine (the conductor was the interviewer)
* Had the #4 song on the Israeli charts with "Muffin Tops"
* Was engaged to David Blaine
* Was hot for and sent a letter to Scott Peterson in jail when he went blonde.
* Starred in "The Rural Juror" with Casey Affleck. Written by Kevin Grishom.
* Fired from her Shop Rite commercials.
* Told Life & Style Magazine her favorite book is the Koran.
* Performed in "Con-Air-the Musical"
* Drinks Choco-tini's
* Being shunned from the "Vagina Monolagues" Her Vagina is like a convieniance store: clean,
reliable and closed on Christmas"
* Won a Cable Ace Award for "Arli$$"
* Practices Kaballah


Be back soon with Season 2

..."And then there's Maude"

Oh, Bea!!! Fist raised to the heavens, you mock Me!
I saw some old bird in the hospital with a total shoulder-pad look, and in my head I was thinking Maude.I cannot get that theme song outta (new word folks) my head.
Nightmares with transvestite looking women in caftans are going to smother me.

Top Chef Masters...F blanckity blank K

Dam it! Marcus Samuelson won. He with his stories of being dragged out of...Man, I'm so mad.The guy lived in Sweden since he was 7, stop pushing the AfriKan dishes (Until this round). I absolutely loved, as did my mom, Susur Lee. What frigging talent.

This is why people, that I never refer tomyself as a chef.
Most people, who get out of jail and who can cut onions julienne call themselves a chef.

Not my world....sorry

CHRIST!!...I miss smoking

I'm sorry. But, I have given up so many things...I'm AA, I'm Jenny Craig. What has any enjoyment ever given me than,when,finding yourself scattered in someone's flat or hotel room...lighting a butt.

Dexter

We had very rainy day this Saturday.I watched "Dexter" Pt.III on video. Amazing, but..I keep having these voice overs (a la Dexter) in my head!!

Strangers with Candy

I just met some girl I hung out with for like 3 years (during high school) on Facebook. She hung out with the dudes who abused me, and I know she giggled. I forgive her.
This is how I can feel like a prick.
She has battled Cancer for 4 plus years.
We have began to get close.
She has 3 kids and she married some cool guy in my neighborhood.
I never want to wait anymore.

St.John

Those women from NY (housewives),whom I have to watch w/ my mom are in St.John. My dear God,I miss this place...

Kim

It's so apprpriate that the song "Ride" (Cary Brothers)is playing as I write this.
1992 I discovered this guy visiting from Sweden. I wanted this to be my gig. He was (not being faggy),the most gorgeous guy in the world. He was leaving for Sweden the next morning. He called me twice from Sweeden. Gosh....

Happy

This is how I go on Facebook. I login, I post a song, look at stuff and I am like a robber. I am out of there. I never want to see more than I can, and because I seem to extrapolate too much, I TRY and bolt.
Some guy from my old block that I grew upon found me. Accept.
A miasma of circumstances happened. #1: I have never said my real High School date (I put it at 1968)...
Too many people kept asking me about my marrital status...
For the first couple I said I was divorced,and then I broke down and decided, I hate frigging lying. So,I wrote my correct graduating year (1981)and said I was single. Fuck em!!!!
I have been getting hits, from graduates of my school, (ignore) but this one girl hit me up. Coleen, and she is like remember how you got me that job @ the Movie Theater (I was asst.mgr!!!!!!)...So,it turns out she married some guy I knew (a very cool guy) and she has battled Cancer and shit since then, and oh, she has a twin (whom I knew), and she's a dike. I felt like I was home...I toldthis old friend of mine about the asshole guys (They thought they were taggers...they called themselves T.S.O. the Serious Ones). They were assholes. I told her how this is a re-acurring instance in therapy and she could not believe it. These dicks tried to drown me when they saw me with the hottest girl in H.S. They embarrassed me so much,I wanted to die. (this is high school)
Anyway, Coleen just wanted to tellme that she thought I was ...
It made me feel good.

I Need to Cry...seriously...get the hell away

Sarah Palin's daughter...the one who gave birth out of wedlockis now touring the country and giving speeches for 30,000.There is an express train with my name on it.

Can I get a Lawyer?

See, I have been finding these sights where I can download any song ever. And I kinda feel guilty, but my guilt is assuaged by the fact that I baught all these albums before. Like, I paid 10.49 @ Korvette's or Grants, and I kept these bitches with me all my life, and then, either it be lack of payment (Los Angeles) or Natural Disaster (Hurricane Andrew-storage-no insurance) I have PERTAINED these. So, Jacoby and Myers,can I get a break for downloading all these songs for free?

How fucked things are...

When i was writing that last post I was in the middle of downloading "Mother"by PinkFloyd. I can't wait to listen to it and cry my eye's out.

Mom's sick

My mom is sick. Lady problems. But like,older lady stuff. Don't even ask me what this means. We went to the hospital. She had an MRI. I was so frigging scared,but she told me that night that she felt good, because I was there. Some littlebrooklyn hottie asked me for my phone number. Surreal! Today,Monday. Mom got the results back. Maybe it was a botched hysterectomy in the 70's. I thank you Lord for giving me a fewmore years/months with her,so I can repair everything. I am not a pinhead (speaking of Kerry). Thanks God, even though I abhoar the Catholic Church, I still believe. Love always,Mickey

"Away we Go"

Let's say it is horrible outside,and you need to cuddle up and watch a good movie, this is the one. "Away we Go" with John Krasinski (from the Office)and a resplendent Maya Rudolph. Man,I really loved this film. Give me your replies if you saw it.

Dreams, thoughts and other mis-givings

I feel like Dorothy sometimes. I never remember my dreams, but through the day I want to say to you and you and you,that you all where there. I just know you were there. Jay and Mark, Char and Chrisstine,Slim and Donna,Jen and Marilyn, Scott and Jim P. Even those fuckheads who abused me.