Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Do not try this at home

One great thing about my stint for the last hundred plus days was that besides helping to cure my drinking and drug addiction, I also put a big halt to my obsessive television watching habit.
I was sitting in a common room of the Halfway this morning reading the paper as others watched the tube. What was on was the hourlong block of "Entertainment Tonight and The Insider". Saying that if I had to endure this fecal matter on a daily basis would lead me to drink and drug again is an understatement to the horrors of that disease. I emplore the United States Government to use my proposed tactic for garnering information from insurgents and other captives that we recently had to stop torturing. Let them sit with a loop of this drivel 24/7 and I assure you they will give up the goods. How do they choose their correspondants? Is there a contest to see whose voice correctly captures the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard? Do they ask passers by whom they consider the most annoying personality out there today and have board meetings to decide? Kimora Simmons! Holy Fuck! Pat O'Brian! There's more but I don't know there names. Snapshots of Brad and Angie with Maddox are scrutinized like a John Madden Football explaination, telling us the veiwer how Brad returned his shopping cart to the front of the market. Awwww. I hear the watercooler talk now.
What are the ratings for these shows? What are the 'Q" ratings for it's hosts? Do people in trailers and New Orleans evacuee's who are still holed up in Shelters really want to hear that Olivia Newton John and Cliff Richard recently shared a lunch together and the tab was $5,000? (A $3,500 dollar bottle of wine and $500 dollar Kobi Steaks) Paris has a new fucking pet, a monkey and guess what? She has a new $25,000 Harley and (Awww) it's pink. Just change the channel Mickey (I couldn't, it's the house TV). Just walk away (I couldn't; we have to meet there every 9am). The reason why I'm so pissy is because I just don't get it. I was told that I complicate a lot of things in life. I over analyze and never keep things simple; but this shit just amazes me. Have a great day.

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