This is the new Header for my personnel Ad which may or may not go into print once all of these idiosyncratic traits are found. I have tons that I've been compiling in the junk drawer of my mind.
We will start with the easy stuff:
#1 MUST BE A READER.
This might seem vague. (Whenever I say that word I think of Julie Brown's (the white one) parodying of Madonna's "Truth or Dare" tour and "Vogue"...'Nick-O-Let Sher-I-Dan')... I know "Dare to be Truthful" almost better than "Goodfella's".
If you are my type and you are on the subway and just sitting there staring into space without a book or music....Brrrnnnt. I'm sorry; you could be thinking of the cure for Cancer or you could be wondering why we, on the subway do not fall into the middle of the Earth. You are Thrown Out...Potential is Inconclusive.
If you are reading the 'Metro' or 'Habla' or one of the free newspapers that are given out on basically every subway stop; you are immune...for the time being.
If you are reading "The Hobbit" and/or "the Lord of The Rings" and it's ilk, Immune. You may be reading it for class or something. Even though I 'm not into Sci-Fi and I can almost predict what our after sex life viewing will be, I'll let you slide this time. But, then again; I swore off anyone under 21 when I was 21.
If you are reading a sport's players Biography; I'd trepidate a bit. If we hooked up, I know we would have great sex, but I'd have to high five you at weddings and events so everyone could think we were hetero.
Mob, Serial Killers and 'Chick Books' get a free pass for one ride and then if you are looney I could bail quickly with an excuse. Hey, I even read "Like Water for Chocolate".
Any guy with a 'Harlequin' type male on male book could go visit the daydreamers from above.
"Geek Love" or "The Corrections" or "A Prayer for Owen Meany" would have me instantaneously stalking you.
"Catcher...", "On the Road", "Basketball Diaries" would be too taxing of an involvement with you because I could never trust you.
There are others I have yet to discern. I was just reading or trying to read, "Tropic of Cancer" and I could not get past page 20. Should I go on with this supposed "classic"?