I'm assuming that when you cringe at something you've done it is a sign of low self esteem. I'm thinking that it can't be that low, because at least your able to determine whether you were in fact wrong or an asshole as opposed to those 'beings' who take no shame or blame in what they do.
From working @ C___________ recently, I had noticed how some people woke up with the predestined role of ruining other people's days. The more the merrier was there motto.
Today I witnessed a woman walk into a store after seeing this domestic type woman spend five minutes to set herself up as she washed the stores windows. I was smoking a cigarette while trying to pass another half hour away before my interview. There was this uptown women's clothing store with big ass windows. I was watching "Lupita" get all these things ready to go as she tackled the windows. Mop bucket, squeegee, pole, sponges; and as I was watching this whole process, I noticed "Grizelda" watching as well. Finally, Lupita comes outside with a step stool and looks around. The coast was clear she felt. She got a good spongefull of soapy water, climbed up the stepstool and was about to start on the windows over the shop's entry when Grizelda made a mad dash for the store. Lupita had no time to even get a soapsud on the window that she had do come down so this Uptown Bitch could get in the store. Now, based on the clothes in the window and what this Telethon totebag holding troglodyte was wearing was no where near a compromise. I needed no fantastic odds to see what was going to happen next. As soon as Lupita got back up and situated herself the Trog would exit the store. Which played as predictable as a prosecutor screwing up a major trial.
These are the flies in 'our' ointment of life. Apologetic feelings are replaced by those of entitlement. These people do not cringe or reflect on their mis doings.
My interview sucked. I sat down with this guy interviewing for a position I have held, have succeeded at, and I became this incomprehensible dick. The instant replay of this interview is still playing in my head as I nod back and forth saying, "No. I did not say that." Self deprecation is a feeling that I thought I was getting over. I was so ill prepared for a good tet a tet interview that I spoke in 'valley girl' lingo of, 'ya knows' and 'likes'.
Urgghhh, I think; as Lucy pulls that fucking football away from me again.