Friday, March 17, 2006

The well is dry...

Before entering Rehab, and basically for the last 8 years I have been prone to crying like a dog home alone. A commercial would form a lump in my throat, I would empathetically have changes in my voice while helping a friend through their stuff and I would completely LOSE IT on movies.
I was just telling my fuck buddy the other day how if I was in a movie and they needed me to cry, you could forget the yank the nosehair technique, all I would have to do is watch the last five minutes of "Longtime Companion".
But these times are kind of lost on me now. I don't know if it has anything to do with me being sober or has sobriety turned me into this hardened fuck. All through Rehab @ S_______, guys poured their hearts out and I heard the sickest shit. They were crying buckets as I sat by and nodded. I worked through the inner turmoil's, the father Hating, the abuse in all forms and still I was as dry as a triple lined Huggies. This did not go unnoticed by my counselor S____ and my peers. It seems, they stated that I have just not reached that point yet. Always the nay sayer, I felt that I had soaked too many sheets with my blubbering and this is progression for me (not crying).
Man, I have been testing the limits lately with some of the movies I have been renting. You know how usually during the resolution of the film, that's when they (movie makers) want the tears to come a flooding, but nothing. I get a little choked and I feel the build up of the tears getting in place at their respective ducts, but nothing comes out. It's like the sneeze that never comes out or better yet, the "crack head" boner that never comes.
I'll gladly take suggestions of films and keep you posted.


jackiefoxfire said...

Hey Mickey;
I just balled my eyes out to this film "Behind the Sun". It's on DVD (foreign).

Randy said...

Try "My Dog Skip". You won't make it through the end of that without a tear.

mickeyitaliano said...

thanks Randy;
saw it and wept at it. But I was also using at the time