I have been with women sexually. I've always been attracted to women. I've never wanted to be a woman. Yet, they've had the sixth sense to stay away from me to some degree. Maybe their gaydar was more honed then mine (which is spot on) and they stayed away for fear of me leaving them for a guy down the line. It just seems that with very few exceptions, girls are not really attracted to me in the sexual sense. They find me attractive yet not boyfriend material. These are basically my kooky ramblings and there is no backup proof for this, but it's what I've always felt. The few times that a woman has basically swept me off of my feet I could not get the time of day from her.
So, when I'm out walking around, people watching, I do check out the girls as well as the guys. For a while I considered myself Bi and I was happy saying that (although a lot of gays hate bi people) but then Joyce asked me when was the last time I was with a women and I had to slot myself back into the gay category. I fucking hate labels anyway because that leads to generalizations but everyone does it. "Fallen Gay senator Jim MaGreevey".
"Oh, you know, my friend Dawn, you know, the Lesbian?"
I was just watching Season 4 of 'The Sopranos', and I think I missed a couple of these episodes. Either that or I was high as a fucking kite. Anyway, what a surprise when Tony had dreams about Gloria Trillo aka Annabella Sciorra. It was after he found out that she committed suicide (which I do remember). The dream involved Annabella, her Wolfe Stove and a long scarf that she hid her hanging marks from, and the chandellier which she swung from. It was brilliant. I was just watching it and I actually daydreamed for a moment wondering if she is married and why is she so under-used and "God, she is so freaking gorgeous."
I mean if we did hook up, I know I would not be the Travolta/Cruise type husband because she really rocks my world.