Thursday, April 26, 2007

Cock Blocking

My version of 'cockblocking' does not involve some some smarmy stud moving in on my future prospect for the night. It seems this phrase rings through my head every travelling moment of my day. I'll be walking on the ferry and (as I walk at a fast pace) and out of nowhere some slow moving vehicle; represented here by some of the following will come out of nowhere and throw a wrench into my pace:

An old battalack (sp) wandering aimlessly in a pre WWI halcyon daze.

Some lazy ass who is too out of shape to carry a backpack that they have to wheel it. Dragging it along like a new puppy on a leash, as they munch on their bearclaw.

Someone on their cell phone. This person will usually stop dead in their tracks to continue the inane conversation they are having. Also, usually involves them smoothing over a relationship they just ruined; asking the electric company to continue their service, or just making theatrics as if they are auditioning for a commercial, meanwhile they are listening to their voicemails.

If this happens once, it happens a hundred times through my day. On the street. In a store; where I always seem to be shopping on whirling dervish day.
I propose fast lanes and slow lanes on the sidewalk. We would also have to post Amber alert like messages in every tunnel and bridge (and Luftansia) explaining to the B&T sect that you can not walk in groups of fives down the street thinking your Carrie and the girls from 'Sex and the City.'

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