Thursday, October 28, 2010

I get Lost...

I just do not know what the frig is wrong with me.
Everytime I am suppossed to meet someone I get all nervous. This time I had expired pills and a bottle of Marsala wine. I can not handle the pressure. I am so afraid of the person I am, the percieved version seems so much more attractive. I can not live up to my personality. Maybe I always sem to make things seem so clear, standard, yet I have never admitted to this. So, the day comes and I have to meet you and I need to get schnockered in any way I can. I am so embarrassed of who I am, and all my failures and mis-steps and could have beens.
I had been straight for __ months and then I was confronted to meet my past and I was so shy and so scared, and I blew it. Again. If you read this later. I hope you know I am sorry.

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