Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Shnooks on tape

My family has this place in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. They go every year. I have not been for the last two. Rehab and halfways and all the other shite. I was (as of February) all set to go. Plane tix baught; bringing my gorgeous friend Donna and what do you know; I get a (kinda) real job.
Long story short...I was living in Elmhurst in February so I decided to get this "Spanish to English" book(cd) on tape. I vowed to be as proficient at Spanish than my sister in law who is from Puerto Rico. I wanted to dazzle em'. I was going to listen to this 6 cd deal on my ipod for the 5 months leading up to the trip. I was going to speak the native tongue rather than eat it in some entree I may have mis ordered.
Suffice to say; because of this wretched asshole job; I never got to go.
The kicker is this.
I was listening to my 'library' on iTunes.
And after a great 'Hole' tune (Malibu), the freaking Spanish to English cd kicks in. At first I was trying to repeat and memorize ---> sidenote: I took Spanish for 3 years and got the 'hat trick' by going to summerschool for it 3 years(!)
So she's like: me pregunta el burro (?) And before the male voice answers ; I'm like: "I own a donkey"
And then he says (to my dismay): "My donkey can not make it up the mountain".
What I'm trying to say is; I fucked off in Spanish.

Funny Part:
Female Spanish Voice: Nunca Mas

Me: I know this one...Yeah!! Cool... "No More" or "Never Again"

Male Translator: "My child is not in school today"

I swear to you. This tape is like a fucking reject. So, if I would have memorised this tape, I would have been the biggest dick.

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