Monday, January 17, 2005

Golden Globes Wrap Up

Alright. See, I started a new job yesterday, and I was quite nervous. I woke up around 4:30 am. Beating my alarm by 3 hours. I really enjoy the new employer, the people around me and such, but...Jesus, mary and Joseph! The pay bites. I am living in New York City. This guy I am working for makes approximately 100 dollars evey 5 minutes on the register. Why so cheap? I, of course started the job, before asking what it pays. As many novels I've read and as many conversations I have had in my head, I can not seem to nail down the right time or place where it is apropos of asking; "What are you guy's paying?"
I left at 4:00 pm feeling rejected and used. I am quite the worker bee, a great ethic I learned from my sperm donor.
I got home in time to watch a Gilmore Girls I had missed and to watch the pre-arrival scene. I felt as though I had to make a very searching decision. Joan and Melissa or Star "I married my elbow" Jones. It was a scarier decision than being a captain on a sinking ship and choosing between two ex wives for the lifeboat. On one hand we have Miss Rivers (the elder), whose clanking dentures and face of a starving goat I have a hard time of handling. Besides the fact that she knows zero about the people she is interviewing, and I honestly do not think she is funny at all. Her jokes go in two camps, rude and brash or Catskills 1939. Either way, they (her jokes) hang in the air, waiting for the invisible drummer to give a, "dun-dunk", signifying the punchline. Her daughter is absolutely useless. It is nepotism at it's most ugly. What has this ugly girl ever done for a living? Did she go to a good college? Did she ever think she could be an ything with out surfing on her mother's name. She is, quite sadly, fugly.
Playing Devil's Advocate, we have this chocolate blob known as Star Jones. Reynolds, I hear she is adding on name. This woman makes Narcissus look like a wall flower. I have never seen a display of unsure confidence than this woman. Saved fom a tsunami...(she was in Dubai!<---three weeks earlier), blessed, and a major star F*cker, this woman makes giving a kid to the orphanage look like a stroll in the park. Ya know, it is nice to see a fat person exude confidence rather than palm oil, but this chick literally takes the cake. I was fat once, and it takes a lot of liquor to get to that confident leval. But word on the Chelsea Streets has it that her "elbow" has been around the piers, I mean Rambles, I mean park.
For the pre-show, I meandered between the two evils. I honestly wanted to see how some of the women looked. The pallette of colors ranged from black to lavender. The days of Cher are gone and I miss them.
Hotties at the pre-show include, Virginia Madsen (who should play a sister of Tea Leoni in a flick), Joely Richardson and the ever fabulous Cate Blanchett. The latter of the three looking amazing and has me questioning myself.
Leo DiCaprio looked great. His hair was styled so cool. Lots O' Gel! Still, he looked great.

I plan to be at an award show soon, based on my two unsolicitated scripts which I will be selling soon, so I need some wardrobe advice. I am at polar opposites to the butttoned up tie crowd.

Are there rumors I have missed of Joan Rivers being an imbiber? This woman seems drunk. Either that or she is battling a case of dimentia. She called Jessica Walters, Barbara. She has no mind. She has to read from cue cards. Joe and Jane Public...wouldn't you not do enough research had you this job? This woman is useless.

That Iranian woman who was in "The House of Sand and Fog" is effing gorgeous, I for one am glad she got a gig on "24."

Kathy Griffen is hilarious on stage, but she is no commentator.
Mariska Hargitay is a dream woman. I love her on/off television. Her mom, for those of you who don't know, was Jayne Mansfield, the gorgeous Marilyn Runner-up who was beheaded in a car accident. Marishka won, and I dropped tears. Cripes, Patricia Arquette has been hanging around Craft Services too long..
Ewan McGregor and his (lucky) wife are a fine looking couple. Clive Owen is a looker as well.
Emily Watson takes my breathe away
Okay, William Shatner looked absolutely pie eyed, but suffice to say, him and Spader rule. Diane Lane, fresh off her beating from Josh Brolin is resplendent in olive green.
Charlieze Theron looks amazing as a brunette.
Teri Hatcher looked absolutelly gorgeous. Her acceptance speech was a two-hanky.
Man, is Lisa Marie Presley suffering from depression? Gosh, she always seems so solemn. She just made like, a hundred million selling her dad's shit. My father left me a scar that will never heal. Lucky her.
I am so digging Hillary Swank Honestly, I have always liked her. I have been behind her while she baught coffee and I have seen her, numerous times, on the streets of Manhattan with her dog, with her husband, and with the combo. She is so low key, yet so in demand. Kudo's Hillary.

Laura Linney...gourge.
Yeah, Jason Bateman won. Will somebody please watch "Arrested Developement"!
Allright,I fell asleep.

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