Cripes

Holy Cow man...The hardest part was ridding myself of an identity,sortof Bruce Wayne-ish-yet in cyber space. The hoops and circles to get rid of a yahoo account; no wait: finding out how to do this properly in (and I dig nerds) alpha beta zeta speak is daunting.

Esplain Lucy: I cut my yahoo address which in which I held this account.

"I think I will throw this kid off the lifeboat" It was a mess. I am so glad to be back, my dear seven regulars.

After

I am not trying to maximize this quake, but if you live on the East Coast, this stuff does not figure into our life here. I heard Cali's were mocking us...obviously length and girth of the quake. I have been through some big ass shimmers in Los Angeles.
Okay, I need to tell you this.
I walked a mile or so when my bus refused to move. i walked to the train station. I went down the stairs and some Asian guy was sitting there in his chef whites. I was like, "oh my God how are you doing after this shake up". And he said, quote, "You have fat belly. You are fat man"
Who, in creation talks to a stranger like this? Why, was I the one?
In college some girl I loved, was talking about me. She said I had tits.
I lost like 55 pounds and was skeletal. This fucking chinese dude screwed me up.

Crucial Blunders

Sometimes i wake up and I'm just smelling my pillow, trying to be Zen and it hits me.
My roof in St.Thomas was such. Southern exposure (the street where we hitched)...from my room, about 12 feet drop. Collorbone, bruised hip. East...3 feet...bruised ego. West is funny because I do not think I have ever been on that side of the hpuse.
North keeps me up at night.
Jay (my roomate) would go up in the early morn. to check the surf.
We had steps up and then some gate/ladder we had to swing over and walk parallell to the sun and reach the top.
I had a roof party one Monday. I brought up my stereo system (turntables in those days) and a big rug for dancing.
It was me, Marni, Sherrie and Jay. I dee jayed.
Afterwards me and Jay sat on the North side of the apt and blew a joint. I looked down and I have had thos fear of heights since, It was like an 180 foot drop/ My screams inside were audible. man. I think of this to this day and still sqirm/

Another one for the 27 Club

Amy Winehouse now shares the list of musicians who are in the 27 Club. Those who died at, you guessed it, 27. Robert Johnson, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain...

Rabbit Hole

Personally, I love reading. I also dig when I read something from a book will be adapted or was optioned to be a film. There are us snobs who will always say,"The book was better". Isn't that obvious.
I missed "Rabbit Hole" when it was in the theaters for that one week. Nicole Kidman got some kudu's for it. The rental (DVD) at the library looks to be about 3 weeks, so I requested the written source.
New Knowledge.
Pulitzer Prize Winner (07): Best Play
Big Tony Award winner.

Reading a play takes no more than 4 hours and your life is so enriched.
Please o to your library and ask for this.

Also...Do not read the last 6 pages in public, because you will lose it.

DearGod...

...So, in our elder years, your giving me these moles WTF

Calling Every Waiter or Waitress

Please,Please...watch Party Down. It is one of those those that a) Got cancelled too early and b) neverhad a shot because it was on Starz.

Not since "The Comeback" has anything been so brilliant.

I can not even get into the cast. Perfection. Take my word.

Branded

Have you heard? Everyone in L.A. is a whore? Well, I listened to this live comic podcast and this person actually branded themselves. I had zero idea what the fuck BRANDED means, but it seems like all the whore's are taking advantage.

I have never been so grossed out in my life.

I fucking hate Los Angeles.

"I'm branded with ciroc vodka".

It seems every no talent ass-hole want's to brand themselves to a company.

Hold myponytail, I am gonna puke.

Podcasts

I have had zero to do with my songs on Itunes lately. I have made every mix I can possibly do.
I have totallybeen into podcasts lately. Something, over a year ago I asked my friend Jen to start with me. So here are my favorite podcasts (all free) for you to stream at your boring job or download while your on the elipticle.

Pop culure happy hour NPR

Sklarsboro County if your into insane sport stories

Comedy Bang Bang inane and insane comedy

Extra Hot Great for Canadians living in NYC's view on culture

The Apple Sisters A comedy troupe from the 40's (read:now211)

I will continue.

AM I Switching Teams..Fuck man

Staten Island makes me so fucking horny. I am now in love with this dynamo girl named _____.
I absolutely dig her. Her eyes are grey,jett black hair. She is so aweome.

Ted

I started this job (waitering) and the GM's name is Ted. I had Tom on the brain, so I was corrected. Did not last long. Nor my memory.
I came back the next day to train, and as I shook his hand, I said, "Hey Tom". The thing is, I did not realize it until I was at the bus stop 9 hours later.
The Kicker
I came home and was reading this story (on line), and the last sentence, I swear to God, said..."I'm Ted, not Tom".

Are We Not...

Shouldn't we have jetpacks by now? Man up. My feet are killing me.

The Girl Who Kicked The Hornets Nest

I just finished the last of the three Swedish movies of "The Girl w/the Dragon Tattoo" series. I've read the books and I really think the movie adaptations are excellent. If you are looking forward to seeing the American version directed by David Fincher, I would go down to the library and take out the Swedish versions first.

Also,if you caught any of the Swede one's and thought the actress who plays Lisbeth Salander looked bad ass, check out this Charlie Rose clip of her from 6 months ago. ( about a 1/3 of the way down the page is the interview).

"I can't get to sleep..."

I need all suggestions on how to fall asleep. The pharmacist told me to try benedril. Nope. I bought excedrin PM. Nope. Herb--> starts with a v and I had to make a tea with it. Zoinks.

Gym 2 hours. Nada.

Television, my best male friend

**Men Of A Certain Age

**Nurse Jackie

**United States of Tara


Need suggestions

If my last name was Weiner...

First off, and not being insensitive to Jewish last names, I would promote not having some name from the old country which when translated here gets you mocked. Ralph Lauren changed his name from Ralph Lipshitz. Would you buy clothes from Ralph Lipshitz?
So, trusty and fiesty Anthony Weiner want's to go to Congress and become Mayor or Governor someday of the state of New York.
Dude, change your name.
About 12 years ago, I can see him fighting with his mother and father. They won over a tray of Linzer tarts.
So,in the light of yet another scandal from (3 posts down he was not in it ) these cocky, brazen, drunk Congressmen and Senators (and Presidents), can we please fill majority with women?
If my last name was Weiner, the last thing I WOULD EVER do, is send cock shots via Twitter.
The puns don't write themselves.
NY Post is having a field day with the euphemisms.
The thing that grosses me out the most...he shaves/waxes his chest.

If your Girlfriend is a starred *commenter on Jezebel

GET THE FUCK MOVING!!

Is there a term for the abuse an adult child takes (gets)?

My friend has to be there. Ya, know? They are the only one around. The surgeries have been rough and still on going, and he/she is the dartboard. They can not take it anymore. They need to know if there is a word for the verbal and some times physical abuse that a mother takes out on her adult son/daughter.

Dreams: Open Doors

I never remember anything about my dreams, but two specific instances stand out. Open Doors in both dreams. I just read the meaning about this occurrence and it signifies new beginnings. I think I have hit the Jerri Blank stage of my life.

Costanza/Can't Stand Ja

douche

Do you think the NYT reads the Cool Store

an article in the NYT recently focused on....drumroll...Movies I say I have seen but did not.
Do you think they read me? Christ on a Cracker (my new favorite saying). Well I have had so many idea's stolen from me, I guess the Times is a plus.
But now, whenever I do this column,folks are gonna be like? "Was that it the Times"
I did it first,thanks.

My feelings w/ all these cheaters

Women have always played the most important part in my life. They have been leaders, consoler's, bread winners and smart. Lovers (at weird points), best friends (6 to date for 20 years or more) and abject.
Yet, being a non Nascar viewing, non Bon Jovi loving AMERICAN in this country in which I would gladly not fly a flag unless I had to, as a majorette in a marching band, no need to, right? The United States was supposed to be this bastion of Amendments and Inclusions and Statue's of Liberty. Yet we are not. Practically every European Country has voted a woman to highest ranking. We, revel and are bemused that a smart movie like "Bride's Maids" made so much money. There is a sick, dis-connect in this country. Too many dominant men were giving the impressions too their sons, as they were pushing them to the limits, that women were homemakers. Yet when these boys/men grew up,they realized who was the friend and who was the enemy.
I am a second generation from the guys depicted above. I sat around bong-a-thons with guys who had these feelings for their fathers "Breakfast Club" style. But now. Their realization is now.
If we had more women controlling Capital Hill,I believe, we would be on our way.

WTF? **Adendum

I got an email stating that my blog views jumped by 400%. Hysterical man. I went from one viewer to 5!

How can I defend Staten Island anymore?

2 or 3 members of Jersey Shore. Mob wives. I cannot defend this place anymore. "This used to be my playground" Kinda sucks, cause I used to be so proud.

Films I pretend I saw but Did Not

I'm lame. I know. Why do I pretend to be so portentous? Ughh. How do I live in this body? Cripes.

My Beef with Kobe

About a week ago, Kobe Bryant called the ref, "a fucking fag". He was fined and he made some half-assed apology.
Living Muppet Bruce Vilanach responded this way::
Vilanch: If I called Kobe a nigger on national TV, I'd be out of a job and a house and I'd be targeted. We have to keep hammering that it's unacceptable behavior. His non-apology was very insincere. He's appealing the fine! I think he's a spoiled brat who's been enabled since he was a child. The irony is he was a guest star on Bette Midler's sitcom and he was perfectly nice.

He nailed it.

Listicle...Top 10 Best states

• Washington
• New York
• California
• Maine
• Illinois
• N. Carolina
• Wyoming
• Ohio
• Mass.
• New Jersey
  

The Last Office

Yeah,I totally teared up for the last 3/4 "Offices". (The Engagement, The Rent Song and This).
I never loved Jim so much as this episode (although I loved Krasinski in "Away we Go".)
I absolutely love Michael Scott, and I love Amy Ryan. Perfect Ending. Pam running to him with her shoes in hand. Carrell was so honest, if that seems like an actor term. He was it.

Hints for Tourists Pt. II

Stop walking 4 abreast while gawking.

Higher Power

In AA (not AAA), they ask you to find a higher power. If you happen to be atheist or a non-committal,they make some assie saying like,"Well, honor the lamp..." I'm not about to get into the life of Bill W. But he was extremely Catholic.
I needn't look far for my inspiration. I am no longer a Catholic,nor a Christian, yet unlike 1,000's of people I meet these days who need to proclaim themselves non believers, I believe in Jesus Christ.
God--->different feelings.

Tips for Immigrant's

We do not "SNOT ROCKET" here...

listicle...The Most Effed Up States pt.1

• Florida
• Arizona
• Colorado
• Pennsylvania
• West Virginia
• Mississippi
• Texas
• Georgia
• New Mexico
• Michigan
  

Okay. Let me set the scene.
For those who do not know Staten Island IS considered a fifth borough of NYC.
Most of us take the ferry. The ferry takes us to lower Manhattan/Wall Street. But others have to take 2 different lines uptown.
The ferry is a place for sleep, a nod off before work. The wakes of the East River on any day can make a teething babe subside.
As with every morning at 6 am., you need to choose.
I have sat next to the Sicilian Construction Workers so high on double espresso's that my 24 minutes (ferry time) was squashed.
The (and I am not making fun off them) LOUD Polish ladies going to do "RHooM SerVice" at every hotel, and they have a cacklefest in the 6 am time.
I needed to so say. I always sit near the loudmouths.
This Morning Was Classic.
I got my seat (@ 6:20 am....the terminal is packed). Usual seat. I need to digress for a sec. (From the Russian/Polish housekeepers who are "too chirpy" for 6 am). I got a good seat. The end of the row. I sit and wanna listen to the waves. We have not left the dock yet. And I see this guy catty- corner from my eye plugging in some outlet to one of the 25 outlets on the boat. A lot ofpeople actually look stupid as they are charging their phones on the ferry. The fact that you braught your charger and you are yelling into the phone...Ughhh.
So, here is the couplet,the cherry on top.
As I said I was situated for a 24 minute ride from S.I.to Manh.
I sitting, trying to draw off negative feelings, and this guy...He plugged in this jack, and I swear to God...This guy pulled out a Selectra 820 from maybe 1989,plugged him self in,squatted on the floor and plugged itinand started typing.
Do you know what the return button sounds like?He kept on hitting it...Like, Devilishly.

SLEEP

The only thing that is going to stop me.

I SO need contact lenses

Fifth day of work @ Yankee Stadium.
I am the Manager of the highest acclaimed position in YS.
We, (all us newbies) toured THE WHOLE stadium yesterday. When we came to the exclusive Delta (still hate that airline) sky boxes. (Guys...it is gorgeous.)
I smiled with every bridge in my mouth.
I have to make this happen. Please

Tsunami is tsnow-me

If anyone goes back to the archives, one of my first major posts was writing about the Tsunami of, was it 2002? And here I feel I am ending on the same note. Another Tsunami. Man, I listen to BBC all night, I feel so sorry for these wonderful, resilient people. I have never been so riveted to an event so much...This is not "loo-key loo's on the highway",this is real. The fractured pain and sorrow that is hidden behind a face like marble in most elders. They have seen it all.
I have admired these beautiful people from Japan,when me and Laura Connair went to see the movie, "Come See The Paradise". It was about the Japanese American Internment Camps.
I think I'm done with blogging. I have so much more to expound on. I care not of the readership numbers, I just hope friends and strangers may enjoy my tome. Not asking you to reply
vedderjett1@yahoo.com
Figures. I finally got a job!

Funny Story about a Long Hair

I was hanging out on the beach with my friends...Meghan's was the name. I think. The beach,ya know. Dan was saucing up his lovely and I had jut finished an extreme game of Kadima with another good friend.
I went to relax at a picnic table and as I was looking at my cool toe's (second one is bigger), I saw this hair.
It was at least 6 inches long. I thought it was from some plankton or such from below the sea, but it was wedged into the space above my second toe (roast beef). It was ingrained. Me and Dan laughed about it. It was always fun (to them) to make fun of me. I plunked it out that day all though,it was embarrassing, I wanted it.
I have this eyebrow lash.
I have always wanted big ass eyebrows.
I tried mascara but I smear too much.
I touch my face, fight it...a lot
I have this eyebrow lash that is like 1 and a half inches long.
Serious.

Me: As A Doggie

God...I want to rescue him/her...(tears streaming)

Berkley

I'm all for no plastic bags and no happy meals...but taking in the guys from Guantanamo is so fucking liberal, I don't know if I can deal guys. I realize that 80 percent are innocent. Give me a different perspective please. Housing in San Fran/Berkely is basically 98% occupied-the most in the country. I am poor and need to leave my house, I would dig living in these area's.

How in the Hell did I ever like you?

This section is dedicated to people we thought we loved and admired and then we grew. And then we said, "echhh".

"Archer" :Best Show I just discovered

I was reading a lot about this show "Archer" on FX but it never registered. I knew it was a cartoon. Then I heard H.Jon Benjamin was in it voicing the main character. You may remember him as Slacker son Ben to Dr.Katz in sqiggle-vision. Then I just read a cool article on NYMag.com by the "Archer" guys,and it was so cool.

Don't get me wrong, I like a few cartoons/adult fare. I like/d "The Simpson's" (obvious), and "Daria","King...Hill" and even"Beavis...". I just don't have the frosh humor of "Family Guy",geeky nerdom of "Futurama". I was ambivalent.

"Archer"is one of the best written shows on T.V. It has more double entandre's and jokes in a minute than "30 Rock", which is a tall order.

I like how the main character's look so much like themselves. With no disrespect to J. Benj, cause Archer is the biggest stud, Mommas boy,spoiled lonely brat.

Try and get the first season from Netflix because the 2nd season just started and you can catch up. (I also know a site where you can watch for free. Ssshhhh!)

God Almighty

Have you ever read the comments on HuffPo. Dont. That goes for The Daily Beast and especially Gawker. Tools.

Things onTV when you are a kid

There wasn't much. "In my day" we had channels 1-13 plus (hopefully nudies) on UHF which resulted in Spanish wrestling.

I remember being with my brother in our room and tuning into one of the first broadcasts of Sesame Street.

On Sundays we use to watch "Wonderama" and "Abbott and Costello".

Weekdays was a steady stretch of "Romper Room" and my man here. He use to have a morning exercise class/show, and like most Americans we watched on our belly in the living room . Rest in Peace mister.

How Can You See So Many Movies (on your budget)?

A friend of mine from the Talent Agency in L.A. sends me a bunch of the end of the year screeners.
Just watched
"Easy A" great! (no sarcasm)
"Fockers 3" Unbearable. Just, like, yech.
"The Fighter" Awesome
"Black Swan" Eh...Campy
"True Grit" review below
I have like 8 more to watch....(Burlesque!!) <--ha

My Globe Predictions

If you never knew,the Globes are a 'lick ass fest'. They are smart, they want all the hottest people there, and so,this coillition of sychophants nominate everyone that they want to have 1 minute of face time with. So they can virtually jerk off to having had met them afterwards.
Regardless:
Actress Supp. Role Drama: My girl, Melissa Leo (If you have never seen 'Frozen River', you are missing the best).

Supporting Actor Drama: Christian Bale This is the biggest lock.

Foreign Film: I'm going with Swinton goddess and "I Am Love"

Director: Christopher Nolan for "Inception" which I am watching right after this post. I did not feel the Social Network had such great direction. It was a great movie, but ploddy. Ya kno?

Television Series Drama: Mad Men (A lot of people love 'Braking Bad' and "Boardwalk Empire'which I both love,but....Mad Men would be my desert island)

Actress Drama- tough one but I pick Elizabeth Moss

Actor Drama- Hamm- hamms down (ha)

Com TV Show- Modern Family (for normal tv,thisis awesome)

Actress Com-Torn between Linney and Fey yet I absolutely love Collette

Actor Comedy- Jim Parsons better win (2nd favorite show...Big Bang...)

Supp. Actress- Kelly MacDonald (Boardwalk Empire ruled)

Supp. Actor- Eric Stonestreet (Cam from Modern Fam)

We will see in a day or so...

True Grit

This girl deserves a Paquin.

This girl was unbelievably true (Listen to the Coen Bros talk on Terry Gross' show) grit.

I absolutely believed her in this role.

What a cool girl. She was only 13 and the last dozen chosen. Great movie. My only qualm is that when I watch it again on DVD. I have to put the sub-titles on for Jeff Bridges. And, I NEVER even could guess that was Matt Damon.

Wow. Great flick.

Did anyone see "The Fighter"?

I will write more about this tomorrow after my GG recap. Christian Bale was amazing in this and he does not win it is a travesty. Besides that he does not play up to these idiots i the GG stratosphere.

Best TV of 2010

God knos I watch too much TV. But half of to 2/3rds of it I watch online through illegal means (China tv et al).

• Mad Men : the best tv has to offer
• Breaking Bad: Can not imagine this show lasting another season due to it's storyline
• Nurse Jackie: she got busted. Edie (one of my fav. names) is in hot saline
• Modern Family: So much to love
• The Big C: Laura Linney:enough
• Weeds: Best ending for the last to ending season
• Boardwalk Empire: Michael Pitt, Michael Shannon...have I said too much?
• United States of Tara: new identity/still has Toni Collette
• ProjectRunway: Mondo and Andy were my first episode favs.

Spiderman-The Musical

I don't know if this has translated across the States or the pond or the oceans but this deal is a collosal flop, and I smile. Let me fill you in. Second coming of Christ in his own sunglassed blindness is Bono and the ugly guy who got dumped by Naomi Campbell, the Edge produced this 65 Million dollar flop-tastic joke. Julie Taymor, director of many acclaimed plays and flops was to inflict her horrors onto millions of unsuspecting tourists. It was concieved for the stage over a year ago, with rehersals and all. It came to fruition about 3 weeks ago with previews (meaning, reviewers can not base their essay on these preformances). Lucky reviewers. Who lost 2 teeth by a flying cable,which audience member almost got shanked, it's a comedy of errors.
Backstory: they took this classic theater and rubbled it to make it more doable.
They have this grandiousity that is previously seen in Pol Pot and Hitler.
Monday night,one of the Spidermen plunged 200 feet to a near death.
Anyone wanting to see this show is the same rubbernecking idiot who wants to see a mangled body in thecar that caused a 45 minute backup on the 5.
As a side note. I saw U2 in 81' when they played Cornell and I was in love with them. This dissapated soon after when Mr. Frontman proclaimed himself the second coming. Kind of after "One" came out.

I Don't Know You, But I Think I Would Dislike You...immensely

For God sakes, he denied Susan Boyle "Perfect Day". I mean, c'mon.

What!! What is wrong man

Dexter is divorcing his tv sister....What is wrong with you straighties? Serious! 2 years? I do not tongue kiss in this time!!!This distresses me.

Scary Movie

I just talked to C----from Fla.
She happened into this Community Workshop for like a strength (personal/no physical) session. 15 clams. She happened to have entered the Twilight Zone 2010.
It was if the Mentalist from CBS joined forces with some retired Floridian. He picked her out cause he said anyone know anyone with a "B" that's dead? Serious...He picked her out and after he spoke about her aunt taking care of her he mentioned a dead female. She was oblivious,though... her 15bucks was well spent when she remembered he was talking about Kerry.
She perked. They were together that day. I asked her (Kerry) half-heartily to come to St. Martin with me, I did not want her to say yes, but I asked. It was my B-day and I was gonna surprise myself with the fact that I was gonna be me. P.S. Nothing happened I flew into the St.Thom airstrip (!) after I was greeted with rum punch,I called Jay.
This was..up till now the worst phone call in my life.
Me: Hey man,I am at the airport, I will be between the Rum Punch guy and the patois wagon.
Jaybird:Michael...I have some bad news

Have you ever scene a grown man bawl by himself in an airport/pseudo port? I have never lived this down my friends. I absolutely loved this woman and her sis and her nephew and yet, she died so savagely.
This dude told C---- that she had a great day(prior),that she (for what it is worth) died instantly. She made a bad turn (how the fuck did he know this) and she is Watching over a guy she really cared for named Michael, Mitchell?
I need to express one or two things. I have a zero religious denominations (?) embodying me. I still pray. I believe in God, but not the God that is zealotry or conforming.
I have known about 6 people in my life who have died, but my fondness goes to my Grandma and Kerry. For which I can say, every time I pray, I ask them to hear me.
I have not been so frigging touched in so long to hear that this gorgeous woman I was so foolishly having sex with because I was so ashamed of my self is watching. Cripes, what an eye full she has had.
I needed to write this because I have felt guilty for over 20 years.
I just need to tell this Pshyc dude, you really helped me. I think you took away the drink from me, and I swear I am crying like a newborn. Please my dear Kerry, hold my hand.

I love writing like this...I hope you likey. Much Love, Mick

Island of Misfit Toys Pt. II

Ya know...when I moved to St.Thomas, I found a bunch of people who did a similar move, (Me: I went for a wedding and never went back). I absolutely loved these people, yet, I scrawled, on our graffiti strewn apartment(our own Harring existence) that this WAS the island of Misfit toys. This was not a dis.

I feel like this is the existence wherein I want to live.

Maybe it is pressures of trying to find a job, or like (gulp) trying to find a lover and stuff, but I find (I sense it) myself getting very ornery. I'm a grouch/sceptical for most parts of my day. I see zero acts of kindness while I have headphones on listening to bands who promote loveliness. The days of the "ole cat ran up a tree and the firemen came out" scenario is so gone. Nice makes page 8, under the fold.

I left St.Thomas because crack became an epidemic there and I sensed it. I actually went with this guy called Tan to buy it (cue Elvis), in the ghetto.

And in 2 months I lost my job, my sanity, my pseudo girlfriend and I felt myself slipping into hell. A hell which I still have a mailbox at.

I never told anyone about my extra-curricular activities. I was just, not present sometimes.

What I need to say is, that, obviously every place has it's Crack-town these days, I still feel I would have bettered myself to stay. The Internet and all that shit was not around. Cripes...did I even have a Walkman? Ya see? Sweet dreams...

Pick Your Face and Vaccum Your Carpet 24/7

When I lived in West Hollywood, I lived below this MethHead.See, even though I knew this chemical to be crank in the mid-80's in Atlantic City where I worked, it kind of nose dived as a drug(at leat in my circles) until I moved to WeHo (!) in the late nineties.

It was ramapant among every single person in Hollywood but still eluded me...<---My first thoughts, in the 80's was of snorting Drano/Fantastic/A&H Baking Soda. My circles were so small in Los Angeles that I could not believe it when I heard that all of a society was gak-ing.

I may have told you before that I was the later attendant of Chastity (now Chaz) Bono's apartment. I told you lesbians are cheap....this place was 570 when I rented it and a studio. She may have moved out because who knew that the guy living directly above me in the same architectually (sp) designed apartment was a Meth head. Prominent among gays in these days he would either be vacuuming his 200 sq foot apartment for 15 hours of the day or else he would be dropping what sounded to be a bowling ball (12 lb.) every 15 seconds. And people wonder why I drank?

I never thought a T.V. show about Meth would pique my interest. I need to state that "Breaking Bad" is among this fellow T.V. Heads favorite shows, ever. Top 5...Bar none. I rented seasons 1 & 2 from the library and I started watching 2 days ago, and I feel like (hah) I could use a little of the witches Comet to follow through watching every episode. It is wonderful. Now where is my Electralux?

Gerri Blank meet Mickeyitaliano

Today I read that Staten Island has the most , per capita scrips for Oxycontin/done. Some old fuck doctor got arrested for writing these, and all I can say is: "Uh Huh". My ennui continues. There is no place to call home these days, like the bucolic neighborhoods Tim Burton created for "Edward Scissorhands." I just wanna go home, but I do not want any familiar faces there. <--great line for a song

GOODBYE PT.I

Ah Ming!!...He has been one of my favorite Chefs for about 15 years or so since he began his PBS show ("East Meets West"). He made it all the way to the finals for "The Next Iron Chef" and he was eliminated last night. I picked him and the female Chef who also got 86'd last night from the first show of 15 competing Chefs. He is a cool guy and I hope he gets another chance. You have had to have beaten an Iron Chef on a previous show of that season to be on this. I think Ming beat Battalli (yeah!). Anyway, I hope I did not scare any of you who are fans of his to think that he was goners in that other way.

GOODBYE PT.II

When I lived in Los Angeles, car city,I had this really amazing Ford Escort Station Wagon that I painted Hunter Green. It was great for lugging all the stuff from work, great for the dogs, just great. I was first on line at a red light on Robertson Blvd and Melrose when the light changed to green I gassed it and as I look to my left I see a Datsun or something coming at me at like 45 mph. I threw myself into the passenger seat as she barrelled into me. My Escort totalled, I needed a newish car. My friends' mechanic had this ugly blue Bonneville wherein the owners dropped it off to get fixed and never returned. I bought it, painted it a steel grey and never romanticised the memory of the Escort again.

This car (Bonny) was made for 5pm Early Birders in FL and AZ. It had every freaking contraption in the world. Sunroof, seat warmers, remember the seat position on both side suede bucket seats, A/C for Sneezley and Breezley, and a radio/cd/cassette player that was like as insane as the amount of speakers. I loved this damn car and now I hear the whole Pontiac brand is history. Oh, I forgot the whole main groovey thing ...guys would constantly ask me about my car (steel grey was just coming into fashion as a car color), I mean people who were driving freaking Beemers and Audi's. Weird, huh? Well,sleep well dear Pontiac company. (I'm sure the Trans Am Guido's are freaking out!!

AMAZING

I have to be the only guy who has 6-7 great friends who never watch TV or would not be pumped for doing the"Amazing Race". Granted. J____ can not leave her situation now, forget D___ and C___,they have zero interest.

I am in busters...It would be so cool, because we can say we were this type of friends (aloof?).

A Million bucks,y know

Josie and her 4 Pussycats

On Monday my Mom celebrated her 40th year in the Supreme Court. She's behind bars...ha
They had a celebration for Jo and all her compadriats who had taken 'the buyout'. They started announccing all the retiree's names (28 in all). Everything was going col and smooth when they were at McGuilicuty and then there was friction at the booth. Well, the MC (who is a Judge) said, well I'm gonna have "Doris" say something, and then my Mom's judge went up and the ovations were overwhelming. Remember those audience meters on the Gong Show? Well, she broke em. Everyone in the place was snapping pictures of her and her Judge, Mr. M___. The 10 of us at the table lost it. I felt so proud of this woman,my MOM, who put 4 kids through high school and college and aside from a few misderminors (me) we are decent guys. We had 11 at the table. I can not get down from this high, because that is my mom. (that is Mom,overwhelmed with her Judge).

I Don't Know You, But I Think I Would Dislike You...immensely

I rmember an episode of Will and Grace...they played this game of going through the 'Us' weekly and they would say if they liked or hated that person.

Will: "Well,here you go, Jada Pinkett."

Grace: Hate her

I plotzed!

2 of My Things Came to Light

***The UK has started slow and fast lanes on some streets

***The UK (again...I know) show "Shameless" which i wrote about is now a new series on Showtime


Some mutha effer is reading this blog and taking all my ideas!!!

I Don't Know You, But I Think I Would Dislike You...immensely

This is a new section in which I deign to never want to be in the company of, working for or waiting on...said person. I basing this solely on introspective internal devices (kind of like Gaydar). I need to say that the whole Will Smith family have their own category.

I get Lost...

I just do not know what the frig is wrong with me.
Everytime I am suppossed to meet someone I get all nervous. This time I had expired pills and a bottle of Marsala wine. I can not handle the pressure. I am so afraid of the person I am, the percieved version seems so much more attractive. I can not live up to my personality. Maybe I always sem to make things seem so clear, standard, yet I have never admitted to this. So, the day comes and I have to meet you and I need to get schnockered in any way I can. I am so embarrassed of who I am, and all my failures and mis-steps and could have beens.
I had been straight for __ months and then I was confronted to meet my past and I was so shy and so scared, and I blew it. Again. If you read this later. I hope you know I am sorry.

Can't stay at home can't stay at school

I was just watching these video's of "The Runaways" member, Cherie Curie and she cracks me up. Okay toots, it's time for a new haircut....
I love her to death but seriously, are you gonna were that same haircut, the feathered 'Cherry Bomb' look for the rest of your life? Fun fact: Cherie is a skilled and prize winning "chain saw" architect.
It's like Scott Baio with the hair in the middle flowbie look...C'mon honey, you were a rocker.

Mad Man/Mad Men

I know I am not Don Draper in the looks...I kind of fancied me a Roger Sterling. I am a mess...season 3.
I wish I had this collectiveness.
I love Don...And I know alll these femenists hate him. Fuck You. He is the better dad I never had.
I so wante him to be with a cool woman for 2 seasons sans Betty. I hated all his choices. As much as the other secretaries and ad. min people hated Meagan, she is hot and talented, and she is a catch. I think the scene showing Joan telling her hubby in Vietnamsays it all....I effing love Don Draper.

I had fun being fat, I think

I have not been fat since the days of 'husky' pants. I have recently been gaining weight and putting a donut on top. Funny thing is,I eat zero fast foods and I have not had a donut since 1982 when Carol worked at Dunkin. My weight is all accummulated booze. Hollow leg? I'm going to present myselfwith a steam-lodge.
I met this guyin Rehab who was 2 years older than me, but 8 years older than me there. I shaved some years...(I know..i am the worst). He had lost all the feeling in his r/l leg because of alchohol. The thing that amazed me most was that he was a skinny/Minny and I was this fat sloth (gavone).
His name was Danny, and he as a bartender. I do not have good feelings abouthis life but I am hopeful.....1 in ten y'all.

If I read a book do I get a star?

I just finished the biography of "The Replacements".
Kinda cool.
I learned a few things.
1) Never start a band with your friends
2) Never give someone too much
3) Always be humble

They were the greateast Rock band that never was. I saw them 8 times from 1989-their demise...
"I'm the boy they couldn't ignore".
I think of this girl Kerry so much.
She came to my place a coupla times ,
And she laughed when I played my tape.

I had two roomates when I was in the islands,
And I told both of them I was an insomniac and I needed music,
Niether flinched.

I played "Please to Meet Me" by the 'Mats at least 14 times a day. My cassette player would switch the tape over. When I just gotin contact with my great friend Jay (roomate), I sent him a video/song of" I.O.U." which opens the tape we listened to.

Focus Groups

Last year,I took a focus group for nothing less than Vodka. We never tasted it. It was about airportbars...For that one I got 175 forlike an hour. The taste test today was for the new Iphone....they had like 30 people....for some reason I was excluded. Psych!I still gotpaid 150 bucks. WTF!!!!!!!!So,as I was leaving ms.tattoo (also in my group) said ,""Merry Christmas"...kinda weird some tattooeed bitch is saying this.
My mom is having her 40 year anniversary...repeat 40 years...I am making her a (hopefully) picture of us 4 boys from @ Penny'photo. (Oh,we were 1,3,5,6 at the time)...It's her favorite picture of us....Betty Draper (ha)......

The Best Movie you HAVE NEVER Seen

You have to believe on this one...it's in English/well sort off...New Zealand Brougue

This film....ahhhh Simply 5 star amazing

New Movie's

Everything in this nepotistic world (not a good phrase) Of script making relies on 2 things (first) :Can it be in 3D..can we get that little go-getter Ashton Cyrus...The knife is sharp and next to my bed...

If you walked to Mars,that be cool....

If he was from Venus, would he feed us with a spoon?
If he was from Mars, wouldn't that be cool?
Standing right on campus, would he stamp us in a file?
Hangin' down in Memphis all the while.

(chorus:)

Children by the million sing for Alex Chilton when he comes 'round
They sing "I'm in love. What's that song?
I'm in love with that song."

Cerebral rape and pillage in a village of his choice.
Invisible man who can sing in a visible voice.
Feeling like a hundred bucks, exchanging good lucks face to face.
Checkin' his stash by the trash at St. Mark's place.

(chorus)

I never travel far, without a little Big Star

Runnin' 'round the house, Mickey Mouse and the Tarot cards.
Falling asleep with a flop pop video on.
If he was from Venus, would he meet us on the moon?
If he died in Memphis, then that'd be cool, babe.

Mad Men

Just discovered this show..I saw like an episode or two,but I just watched season 1 while waiting for a phone call. At least one good thing came of my desperation. P.S. Joan Holloway is the goddess of all goddesses.

Dear Music Industry

I really got over the change to CD's...I basiclly had zero options to clean my pot (ha! do they stillcall it that?) Okay, you fucked over Aimee Mann and other indie gods and goddesses. Tower Records went bust... What is next, man? Does anyone remember those miniscule CD looking things? ha...suckers.

Job Interview...321in a series

I've gotta be honest here...I very rarely get excited for an interview. I either know I am gonna get hired and leave within 13 days or I am a desperado and need it.
I got called back for this Sports Bar opening. This is my dream gig. I have about 75 appetizer recipes that I am juggling in my head...all, majorly great.
The big culinary thing this year seems to be meatballs (duh)...whatever...
When the Italiano kids were younger, my Mom would make the Sunday 'sauce'. This was/is a 'gravy' of tomatoes and stuff like hot/sweet sausages/bracciole/meatballs and other PIGins (ha).
Josie would fry the meat-a-balls and then throw (literally) themin the sauce. She always set out a fried meatball for each kid...you snooze...you lose.
I want to make an appetizer of fried meatballs with a 'sauce' and also a sweedish meatbll sauce for dipping.
Okay, I just got hungry...gotta go

Flash Mob: S.I. Ferry Version

I'm guessing some of you guys live in a tourist haven. For the cheaper visitor's to NY, instead of taking the 7 buck trip to Ellis Island/Statue of Liberty, they pack their meandering laxidasical bodies onto the Staten island Ferry and get long shot photo's of said landmarks.
I'm thinking of a cool flash mob kinda thing.
As soon as the ferry doors open, about 500 people just rush in and stand near every possible window and view imaginable. Just to watch these Inge's and Rolff's trying to get a picture would be worth all the salt.
I have photo bombed like 12 pictures this week alone!!
Fucking tourists...they crack me up man.

What if?

Jeanine Garofalo berated me when i could not let Joan Osborne enter Largo. We were at capacity and how the frig did I know it was her? She was so tiny,I could put her in a little box. She was relly kind though...Hey,rules are rules. Wait till I tell the Larry David story. Crikey!

Shameless

I was in my little as library the other- and I found this DVD of a Channel 4 (BBC) show called, "Shameless". Sort of a Brit Dramedy, and I picked it up. See, I love the fact that Brittish T.V. is so un-abashed...with curses,nudity and themes. I have scored 2 times before : "New Street Law" and the Simon Doonan bio "Fabulous". WTF, I thought. Ya see, British shows only go for a series of 7-10 episodes per year, so if you love em', yo are really yearning.
Is fricking hooked 1 episode in o it apropos?.
I have been valiantly trying to find the rest of the series on-line. Usually,Brit.sitcoms and stuff (exception: "Coronation Street") last for 3 seasons, max.
So far,the series is in it's 7th year (thanks IMDB). I have so much to watch. Can not wait....

I swear this is going somewhere...

I once saw a stand up (Jeanine Garofalo) talk about the bus in the movie, "Speed" and how it basically had every stock character from Central Casting. (This must have been around the time of Hollywood's big diversity kick). She is like,"You have your angry black man, your snappy old lady, your immigrant Mexican maid, your Eskimo with his harpoon..."
The Staten Island Ferry holds about 4,000 people at it's busiest times. It runs every 30 minutes from Staten Island to the bottom (Wall Street area) of Manhattan. Also, it passes the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, The Verrezano Bridge...good views of the Brooklyn Bridge...and oh, it's free.
Because it leaves every 30 minutes, shuffling on and off should be the major logistics (besides crashing 2X in 3 years) of the Ferry people.
As the world,(yep, it is not only America) keeps getting fatter, it is also getting slower. I, on the one hand need to visit Jenny Craig, but I am still kind of light on my feet. Maybe it is the 30 years of working on my feet or maybe because I remember the days of people just moving in every direction at the speed of sound when I was a messenger as a kid in Manhattan. Remember those old movies where you see all these businessmen in hats getting off the train and just plowing ahead?
So, now I have this scenario of the 'Speed bus cast" with something akin to the term 'cockblocker'. You see, whenever I am trying to move, especially when it comes to entering the Ferry, (the doors just shut. You could be an inch away) I am CONSTANTLY getting 'cockblocked' by the Central Casting of extra's. Yesterday it all came together, in one perfect scene,that had me laughing. No exaggeration here. The casting sheet for the extra's would look like this:

• Old man with hump carrying groceries (must have height differential in both legs)
• Clueless German tourists walking 4 abreast
  
• Woman with briefcase on fold up luggage wheelie thingy
• Fat person (5 foot)
• Fat person (6 foot)
• Mother with 2 school kids who are doing everything but walking
• Hasidic family with 6 kids all under 10 years. 1 double stroller, 1 regular
• The shuffling elderly Chinese couple
• Man with cane
• Man with luggage
• Woman with walker
• The walking newspaper reader
• The tourist who got separated from the group, turning back constantly
• Pod of cell phone people (all loud talkers)
• Homeless guy with cart
• Apathetic group of teens
• Eskimo with Harpoon

Can we please enact my idea (spoken about previously) wherein we have chalked out lanes. "Road Runner...Strollers and Families...Tourists...Sloths... " I would be very happy.

An M5 Ran Over Me

Can we officially get rid of the phrase where one throws one "under the bus"? Please? The other night on Project Runway they said this so often,I thought that fashion director of Marie Clare Magazine,Nina Garcia was going to explode like a pinata.
How can this phrase (used by my estranged brother to describe himself) be so popular? It's kind of stupid....Do they throw ones self under the lorry? Bus in Danish...El Autobus? staetoi icelandic? Let's give this one a rest...it is stupid, and itjust popped up in the lst 6 years, right? ugh

Johnny Cash

I have 2 and a half weeks of songs in my "I" library. So many do not get played. Like the 8th song on an album (which is usually great), I made a play-list of every song with 0-1 listens.
The first song up was Johnny Cash singing "Silent Night" (yeah, the Christmas tune) and I just bawled.

I've been so kind of fragile lately. I STILL have all these abandonment/Father issues. Prick. And here is this man in Black singing this gorgeous song and still in keeping with his machismo...
I hate thinking man

Facebook part II

Christine McC------d...I will never forget her name...like C--- Sac---.
These beautiful women and I experienced a time together. We all lived in St. Thomas in the late 80's. C--- just crept up on us, and was the coolest woman, and I just kind of am misty eyed thinking of our friendship then. I want that now. I have Joyce/Sloan, Donna, Carol, Char... and everyone is 400 miles or more from me. Restraining orders? Ha! No. I miss my friends. I need to be close. Glad to have re-connected to Chriss. Thanks FB...find me DannyEdwards...

Bad Judgement

Last night I watched this film called "London to Brighton".
First off, I have been to England (albeit South Hampton), but I found it grey, and exspensive, and gray and dreary.
But,every film I see representing Brighton, makes me want to go there. It is like Seaside Heights with a passport.
Back to the subject.
This movie was FUCKING riveting. I could NOT look away for one second. (If you rent it, put the subtitles on, ya nob ya).
So, movie finished...Deep breathe...kinda heavy. Whew...man!
I go to my site wherein they have movie reviews from every circulating media.
1 star out of 5. 1.5 out out of five. thumb down. 17 tomatoes....
I need to re-read my screenplay.

Weird Day

On the train this morning I saw this guy get on, decent suit, gay face. He was carrying a razor scooter and he as panting(like he just made the train).
On the subway, I saw two kind of distinguished looking guys talking. Yet they were not talking. They each had an Ipod earphone on and they were lip sychning raps. (Ha)
I have a big mouth...Some asshole ran the yellow/solid red light while I was crossing the street. His drivers window was right by my face as he ran the red light, and I said , "You are a fucking douche bag" and he got like 20 feet down the block and made a quick u-turn.
I do not run.
I ran.

Affirmitive Action in our Presidency...which way

The other day Hillary Clinton compared Mexico to Columbia 20 years ago, based on the increased (!!) surge of drug lords vs.the Mexican Govt. (A whole city of Mexico's government was 86'd because they were all working with drug lords). Obama dismissed this statement by Hillary the next day. (She is FUMING!) Today 48 drug lord workers were assisted in escaping a prison on the border of Houston, Tex by the prison guards working for the cartel.
I believe, our first Mrs. President to be was correct again.

Because...Because

Man....

Beautiful People

This is a positive guys. In a world of Negatives...This rates. It's a sho about this inda infamous New Yorker who dresses the "Barney's" windows.
This is one of the greatest TV shows ever. I have a link, but you can watch all12 episodes at LOGOtv. Laugh...you make me smile.

Emmy's

I only got to watch an hour or so because the other person I live with decided to have a shit fit, because this is one of the only thing I have watched on TV an this person has turned evil. Do you know what agita is? It is Italian for an upset stomach. Say your 35 plus and you ate a bowl of cavattelli with a pomodoro sauce and then you drank a big glass off milk. That is agita (1 fold). I am s hated in my family it is hysterical. I tried to watch one show and she chased me out with her squaking and hatred of herself, so,obviously, I am the scapegoat, and I stay up all night, intermittently crying.
Bye

These Days

This song is my life. I loved this guy since I was like 12, because of my older brother. I never asked Peter if the words were true to him.
I'm lonely tonight and I am thinking of Jax.

Don't confront me with my failures...I have not forgotten them

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPk11AugG4c&NR=1

Sniffle,sniffle...bye

Mission Statement

I have to be one of the most fucked up guys alive. I,like hate work...avoid it at all costs,I wanna hit the lottery,but i still am not lazy. My feet are fucking killing me...i swear. I have callouses the size of Minneapolis. I'm kind of tired,or as my French Canadian lover used to put it...tie-red (yeah,it was cute but got tie-red real quick). I am like,black-listed. i swear to you,like 11 years ago,people would be like,"So can you grab a white shirt and start tonight?" And I was like, Ricochet Rabbit. My prospects in all fronts are dried up. I'm old,ugly,fat and retarded.

True Blood

Seriously rocked this week. Episode 309

Vladimir Putin is my father

Oh,man...don't you love this guy. The former president of Russia who now goes by something like supreme leader. As a short man myself,I never knew how much power i can wield. Given his predecessors, including the J.O. father, they all belong in the same fiery hell.

Did you know that during the fiery furnace that has been Russia these days, Putin flew over and extinguished 2 fires?

Have you ever seen this fidget with his shirt off? he thinks he is Danial Craig as Bond. Oh, man, how many delusional fucks get to the top of the heap, while we urchins toil away.

It comes in Waves

I totally understand this phrase, especially after living beside water for my whole life and working on a ship. But, say you are sitting at the shoreline, and just letting the incoming surf tickle your toes. You can bet your next clamato juice on the fact that another wave is coming in. It's life, you know and I really like things that are constant. What I hate or can't stand is dis-order. And my life is so freaking full of every contrasting emotion (or emoticon for you neer do wells). I live with Love/Hate, Pride/Self Doubt, Lust/Derission, Wonderment/Disallusionment every half hour.
I am not as fucked up as you may think. I think. I read real books. I admire wordsmiths and I also realize that I will never, ever find love. It comes in tsunami's. Litlle trickle happen and then the big one hits.

WHY TURN TO DRINK?

CHEF WANTED: Largest Foodservice company in New York seeks Chef to prepare meals on pretigious College Campus in the Riverdale section of the Bronx. Includes student cafe, retail outlet, and special events catering. Chef must be passionate about preparring healthy, fresh menu items in a fast paced, professional environment. Serious applicants only! Full Time 40hours per week. Background checks and drug testing for all applicants mandatory. Must have culinary degree and at least 5 years industry experience. BENEFITS: Health, Dental, Vision, 401K, Sick, Vacation, Personal.
Location: RIVERDALE, BRONX
Compensation: Hourly Rate = $9.95 - $11.70 per hour

The TakeAway

I absolutely hate this NPR show. I hate the stupid freaking name, I can not stand Hockenbury and the 19 chicks (all black) that have been 86'd. Sometimes I hate NPR.

Turn South for this Post

Or is it East? How do you feel about a Mosque being built near the former site of the Twin Towers? Go on, I'm listening.

old spice guy

I do not get it? LL Cool Jay is crying somewhere.

You don't wanna know me

I have to be the most unlucky mother fucker in the world or this was just destined to be. I am so sad. So fucking sad,you can not relate.
The job, the given...Me and this un-qualified guy. She was kissing him.

I want all my lady friends to send me a pix of them on that 'special' day. This is Donna. I met her on Sept 08, 1981 and we have been friends since. This picture makes me crack up, and I smile very infrequently these days.

I AM FINALLY OFF THE UNEMPLOYED LIST!!!!!

Thank You !!! I am never Fucking this up!! I will be here till I am 50! (Fifty Years Old, Dammit!) And then I will open my own place. I have tons of back catalogued presents to get people!! Be patient.

Jenna Maroney- Season 1 Factoids

Easily my favorite charactor on "30 RocK", Jenna Maroney has a scroll of accomplishments. This is how she has enough to pay for her Condo in Clearwater, Fl.
From Season One
* Played a female rapist on "Law & Order"
* Did an interview with Amtrak Magazine (the conductor was the interviewer)
* Had the #4 song on the Israeli charts with "Muffin Tops"
* Was engaged to David Blaine
* Was hot for and sent a letter to Scott Peterson in jail when he went blonde.
* Starred in "The Rural Juror" with Casey Affleck. Written by Kevin Grishom.
* Fired from her Shop Rite commercials.
* Told Life & Style Magazine her favorite book is the Koran.
* Performed in "Con-Air-the Musical"
* Drinks Choco-tini's
* Being shunned from the "Vagina Monolagues" Her Vagina is like a convieniance store: clean,
reliable and closed on Christmas"
* Won a Cable Ace Award for "Arli$$"
* Practices Kaballah


Be back soon with Season 2