Sunday, November 05, 2006

3:27 pause 3:28

I still have a bad case of insomnia. I'm falling asleep at the weirdest times and then waking up when 92% of the EST hemisphere are dreaming. I have so much on my mind and yet, it's all kind of minute in comparison to relevant events. Hey, being up late and watching bad tv has it's pluses. You get to hear breaking news. Like the fact that some poor bitch at NBC just interrupted the 3:30 am SNL to tell me that Sadaam is going to hang.
This reminds me of when Princess Diana died. I was watching the 3:30 am SNL, Rob Lowe was the host and I was staying at this 'hotel' that charged by the week. Hotel is too kind. Squalor would be too pleasant of an adjective. The room was the size of a twin bed plus one foot. I paid $174 a week as I tried to find an apartment. I had a tv which came with 3 channels. I learned to love that sitcom about that robot girl (and look forward to it coming on). God, my life is a freaking joke sans punchline.
Every three weeks I would have to check out for a day. It's some kind of residency law. This is when I would check into "The Carter Hotel" in Times Square for a day (80 clams) and then re check in @ The Fleabag Hotel (which I may add, is the backdrop in a lot of L&O episodes when they are dealing with sleazy murder transvestite hooker issues).
One time I checked in for the week and I plopped down on the bed (my own sheets+ plastic sheet) and I started to feel rustling beneath me. Now, I kick my leg a lot while I am supine, so I thought it was the reverberations of my kicking. So, I layed still. I was more stiff than a bowl of fruit. And then I'd feel it. Rustle, rustle, rustle. Bedspring thump. My heart racing. My absolute reality check of where I am at in my life. There is a rat living in my mattress.
"Mad About You" is on nick@Nite @ 5 am. Paul Reiser is so gross. Like, i think this show was on only like ten years ago, right? Who constructed his wardrobe? Sweaters and vests, and vests worn over sweaters. And what is that on his head? Is that a jew-fro or a wig? Why is he like always making out with Helen Hunt. It borders on the worst PDA's I have ever seen. it actually makes me feel bad for her. She must've left work for the day just crying. No wonder she won an Oscar, she had better acting lessons than The New School on a Wednesday. To kiss and make out with neurotic 'stereotypical' Jewish mensch who dresses bad and has the most annoying voice and worse hair next to Kevin Dobson on 'Knot's Landing' is Academy gold in my book.


bigbrother said...

You are so entertaining. You make me smile broadly.
Cheers (oops)

xiouxiou said...

one of your best posts yet...Are you going to school or something? Because your writing is so cohesive and extremely funny lately. I'm glad you are writing more often. Thanks for making me chuckle.

mickeyitaliano said...

umm...I'm not going to school. Maybe I should go back and read my archives. Cripes, am i that illiterate? But thanks anyway Xiou. I mean, what's a compliment w/out the awkward backhanded remark of my learning leval? i kid . (?) Seriously. the fact that you laughed means a lot to me.

mickeyitaliano said...

i meant to thank you as weel big brother

Janine said...

How fucking hilarious.
I will preserve all of your journals. I love the fact that I can put a face to the writing. I don't give a shit if you are straight, bi or trisexual. I hate commenting to anyone, but you make me smile, broadly, like that guy up top said.
Keep it up Mickey
and I don't mean that one